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The Official Funny, Violent, or Bizarre News Story Thread - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: The Official Funny, Violent, or Bizarre News Story Thread (/showthread.php?tid=110172)



The Official Funny, Violent, or Bizarre News Story Thread - trevor - 08-01-2008

Missing Feet! Beheadings! Tumor-faced freaks! Japanese culture! Post all of your favorite bizarre news stories here. Two rules:

1) No "how can you laugh at this?" bullshit whining. This is not a thread for the squeamish. We cope with our cruel and dangerous world through humor.

2) Please try to be as funny as possible.

Starting this off:

Brute punches playful London girl during Facebook-inspired waterfight

In comic panel form:




- edhocken - 08-01-2008

Someone sticky this stat!


- trevor - 08-01-2008

Eileen's already on it!


- alan "nordling" cerny - 08-01-2008

"Girlwhack!"

Granted, she didn't squirt him with water, but period blood.


- edhocken - 08-01-2008

So that's what happened to that girl from Superbad.


- tati - 08-01-2008

You can see Meteor Man in the back coming to the rescue.


- billylove - 08-01-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tati
View Post
You can see Meteor Man in the back coming to the rescue.

Hey man. That's racist.


Funny though.


- ratbastard - 08-01-2008

My favorite part of the article:
"Gangs of youths then ran amok, threatening the public, flashing knives and causing riding school children as young as five to be thrown from their horses."


- sam strange - 08-01-2008

We here at facebook believe men and women have an equal right to get whacked in the face for doing annoying shit.

Also, that guy's about to get his girlwhacking ass boywhacked.


- billyg - 08-01-2008

Where are the after pix? The group behind the boy does not look amused. I like to think they followed him onto a double decker bus, and went Louis XIV on him.


- jim kelly - 08-01-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillyG
View Post
Where are the after pix? The group behind the boy does not look amused. I like to think they followed him onto a double decker bus, and went Louis XIV on him.

So it takes a group of Englishmen to do what one Canadian can? Wussies...


- jim kelly - 08-01-2008

Missing foot? Found one!

Foot found washed up on shore
AP POSTED: July 31, 2008

ROGERS CITY (AP) — Police are investigating the discovery of a decomposed foot on a Lake Huron beach in Presque Isle County.

A resident called the sheriff’s department Monday after finding the foot, encased in a sock and sandal, at the outlet of a small creek near the Hammond Bay fishery research facility.

An examination performed by an anthropological forensics expert determined the foot belonged to a man 35 years or older.

Should this go on Craigslist?


- billyg - 08-01-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Kelly
View Post
So it takes a group of Englishmen to do what one Canadian can? Wussies...

Canucks carry giant fucking Bowie knives. The Englishmen will be using tea cups.


- edhocken - 08-01-2008

This aussie begs to differ:




- c.swicegood - 08-01-2008

I'm offended at the misogyny in this thread.


- chris olson - 08-01-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillyG
View Post
Canucks carry giant fucking Bowie knives. The Englishmen will be using tea cups.

Hey man, don't knock the tea cups. Those can be fucking deadly. Just ask this guy:




- lisany - 08-01-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Minsky
View Post
1) No "how can you laugh at this?" bullshit whining. This is not a thread for the squeamish. We cope with our cruel and dangerous world through humor.

Nicely done! Rules stated, thread stickied. Good on ya.


- sammy jankis - 08-01-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Kelly
View Post
... the foot, encased in a sock and sandal, ...

I told the motherfucker socks and sandals don't work, but he wouldn't take them off.


- arjen rudd - 08-01-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Minsky
View Post

Did you make this? It's excellent.


- trevor - 08-01-2008

I did!


- edhocken - 08-01-2008

Nice work Minsky


- schwartz - 08-01-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaNY
View Post
Nicely done! Rules stated, thread stickied. Good on ya.


Shit, son, It's LisaNY!!!

Ruuunnnnn!!!!!!!!



- edhocken - 08-01-2008

Awwww, no one dares run at the prsence of Hocken.

*Walkes away to the tune of that song that's played at the end of each Hulk episode*


- billylove - 08-01-2008

That comic is way more funny if you read it British.


- lisany - 08-01-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schwartz
View Post

Shit, son, It's LisaNY!!!

Ruuunnnnn!!!!!!!!

(*Hurls birthday cake at Schwartz - nails him in the back of the noggin*)

GOTCHA!!

(And did you see? I changed my user title in honor of your post in the decapitation thread! Ha!)


- schwartz - 08-01-2008

It's perfect.


- edhocken - 08-02-2008

Now to add a new story to the thread

"Rat People" forced to beg


- c.swicegood - 08-02-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by EdHocken
View Post
Now to add a new story to the thread

"Rat People" forced to beg

It's the cult of zippy the pinhead!

Seriously though, the whole belief system there sounds like something from Forgotten Realms [/nerd]

ETA: Lisa, that custom username is 100% gold


- lisany - 08-02-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by C.Swicegood
View Post
It's the cult of zippy the pinhead!

That girl's only 25 years old? She really needs to hit the Estee Lauder counter in a big way. Y'know - rat face aside and all.


- billyg - 08-02-2008



First thing to come to mind.


- timothy225 - 08-02-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaNY
View Post
That girl's only 25 years old? She really needs to hit the Estee Lauder counter in a big way. Y'know - rat face aside and all.

What, bad enough she's got a rat face and small head, you want her to spend what little money she has on make-up that may or may not work on her?

Hell, this'll do the job, and is pretty much free:



Oh, and can I have my birthday cake without fear? I'm trying to cut down. Too many calories. Trying to get back into shape, y'know. kthxbai.


- lisany - 08-02-2008

Oh, come on, the fear helps you burn the cake off. You'll thank me later.


- brendan - 08-02-2008

Why so serious?


- renn brown - 08-02-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brendan
View Post



"You don't like bears? OMG! I don't like pigs! We should totally hook-up!"


- timothy225 - 08-02-2008

Should've let Yogi have that pic-a-nic basket.

I love how matter-of fact she is in that video:
"My first sensation was 'Oh, a little tiny bear! But, what a bully!' "
"... and I went 'there goes my eye!' "

as opposed to any of us who'd be going "AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! MOTHER OF GOD!!!!! AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! WHY?!?! IT'S CHEWING MY BRAIN!!!!! EEEEEEEEYYYYYYAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!"