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Tired Shit
Well, don't keep us in suspense.  Were you a Ross?
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Gunther. FML.
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I’ve been living with my Mother while I’ve been going though my medical odyssey to trying to find out why my back is fucked up.

Last night I went to a friend’s birthday and after a few hours everyone decided to go to a country western bar and I decided to call it a night and go home. When I got home I opened the front door and smoke billowed out. The entire house was filled with smoke.

I rush into the kitchen to see the stove was left on beneath a pot of soup my mother had prepared earlier in the day. She had gone to bed and forgotten to turn it off, so it had boiled dry and then burned to a cinder. Luckily she had also left the lid on the pot, so in all likelyhood the contents of the pot never got enough oxygen to ignite and start a house fire.

I woke my mother up, told her what was going on and then opened up all the windows and doors to let the smoke out. I also told her that we need to replace all of our smoke alarms because none of them triggered, so they’re all garbage and/or broken and probably another relic of the corners cut by the previous owner who use to rent the place. I can’t believe nobody (including myself) bothered to test them when my mother moved into the house in 2010.

This morning the house still smells like an ashtray and we’ll probably have to hire someone to come in and clean all the walls and ceilings to get the smell out. I’ve also convinced my mother that a new stove with a timed auto-shut-off is a good future purchase.

I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if I had decided to go to the bar with my friends rather than go back home.

Edit - Also because of the wierd timing of events, I felt that I should add that this actually happened last night and isn’t an April fools post.
When life gives you lemons, lemonade is little consolation. 
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Criminy, Tim. That's a close call. Just your mother sleeping in a smoke-filled house was dangerous as hell.
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Yeah, I’m really glad that I decided to return home early and not go out to the bar with my friends. I feel like if the multiverse actually exists, then there is universe where there’s a version of me who went to the bar then came home late last night and found the house on fire. What would have happened to my mother and dogs is too horrific for me to even contemplate.
When life gives you lemons, lemonade is little consolation. 
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Glad everything worked out OK Tim!

Test the smoke alarms twice yearly when the clocks change. And if you’re replacing all of them make sure one of them has carbon monoxide capability. The latter sure did come in handy when I lived in a basement with a dicky pilot light.
“I feel a connection with you. A man connection. A mannection.”
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contact yer local fire department as many of them have programs where they will come out to yer home, bring and install smoke/carbon m. detectors for free!
'Ask Klingon or Krell, my posts are swell'
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(04-02-2018, 01:36 PM)steve hauk Wrote: contact yer local fire department as many of them have programs where they will come out to yer home, bring and install smoke/carbon m. detectors for free!

Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I’ve checked with the local Fire Department and while they don’t install free smoke detectors, I did find a program run by the Red Cross which does install free detectors. I’m looking into it and currently I don’t know how long it takes for them to show up and do this. So I may just end up buying new ones if the wait time for this kind of thing is longer than a few weeks, but thanks again for the suggestion.
When life gives you lemons, lemonade is little consolation. 
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I know in this area,in Md just outside of DC, the local news doing reports of fires tell of the fire departments going door to door in those areas to check if folks have the devices, and if not then install them.
So, set fire to a neighboor's place.
kidding, natch...
The house I'm currently lodging in is owned by a still-working older lady who I thot was a hoarder, but now realize is a shop-a-holic--there's (organized) piles of stuff in all the common rooms. Stuff being 'saved' like used padded yellow mailing envelopes, bubble wrap, stuff to be given out at Christmas, used but cleaned plastic food containers to put left overs in. The house is about 100 yrs old, and it's electrical system is strained. Multi-plug adapters in most outlets. Sometimes using 2 different appliances in the same room causes a circuit breaker to click off. I've told her about my concerns about fire in the house, begged her to move the fire extinguisher to a more centralized location. My friendly rants have already motivated her enuff to start diminishing these hoarding areas. Luckily my suite has a backdoor,fire escape,backyard.
They just passed a law in this area that your smoke detector had to be a carbon M detector as well as having a '10yr battery' in them.
'Ask Klingon or Krell, my posts are swell'
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Thing that happens all the God-damned time now:

1. Somebody sends me a question via email.
2. I send them a response via email.
3. Several hours go by.
4. They send me the exact same question via text message.

Arrrrgh.
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I had to find the setting on my phone that disabled sound just for text messages, because I have one family member who cannot type in paragraphs. Instead he sends me machine gun bursts of one sentence texts whenever he's excited about something.
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(04-06-2018, 06:25 PM)Reasor Wrote: I had to find the setting on my phone that disabled sound just for text messages, because I have one family member who cannot type in paragraphs. Instead he sends me machine gun bursts of one sentence texts whenever he's excited about something.

I hate this and really wish there was a setting for text messages where the notification sound could be put on a delay after the first message is received. So say that you receive a message from someone like this, you could set it so that the notification only goes off once every 10 or so minutes regardless of how many texts they send you after the first (or set it only to make the notification sound once every 5 to 10 texts).
When life gives you lemons, lemonade is little consolation. 
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The fucking phone should shock them.
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Five centimetres of snow. I know I’m in Canada but fuuuuck it’s past Easter.
“I feel a connection with you. A man connection. A mannection.”
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Yea it was -23 yesterday morning. I miss being warm.
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Google, how many fucking times am I going to have to tell you that I'm not interested in piles of clickbait garbage, channels full of clips from TV shows I don't watch, and "trending videos" before you actually fucking stop cramming them into your "recommended videos" section on YouTube?
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People who don’t understand Temperatures in Celsius.

What’s going on America. Yeah, the winter part could be considered confusing but the human comfort zone is a percentile system where 0 freezes water and 100 boils it. A steaming hot shower would be right in the middle at 50. A refrigerator is just above freezing at 4.

Pretty intuitive, no?
“I feel a connection with you. A man connection. A mannection.”
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The system sucks big time frequencies demons ah boy
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Figured I'd try to educate my kids and picked up an illustrated book of HC Andersen's classic fairytales from the local bookstore. I knew they'd be violent and dark, but I didn't remember that most of them... kinda suck? Did you know that the most important thing in life is to look BEAUTIFUL? Like, the only thing that matters? Or that you can describe literally anything looking like a swan? Like a ship in a storm, the sun, someone's hair, a bird (that isn't a swan)? Or even better, a BEAUTIFUL SWAN?

So fuck Hans Christian Fucking Andersen and his fucking swans, tonight we'll go back to HP Lovecraft. (See the Cool Shit thread for specifics)
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I find Lovecraft a better way to articulate man’s relationship to the cosmos. Children should learn early that the universe is uncaring at best and usually incoherently horrifying.
“I feel a connection with you. A man connection. A mannection.”
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(04-11-2018, 06:35 AM)lightning slim Wrote: People who don’t understand Temperatures in Celsius.

What’s going on America. Yeah, the winter part could be considered confusing but the human comfort zone is a percentile system where 0 freezes water and 100 boils it. A steaming hot shower would be right in the middle at 50. A refrigerator is just above freezing at 4.

Pretty intuitive, no?


It's really stupid that we didn't go metric like the rest of the world did, I agree.  I remember the half-assed attempt in the late 70s to make it become a thing.  It was pushed with all of the enthusiasm of a parent saying to their child, 'just take a bit of the broccoli, you might like it'.  We should have just made the damned switch over a two year process.
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You know what convinced me that metric was better?

Back in the early 90s, a good friend of mine and I regularly exchanged mix tapes, as a way of sharing new music and keeping in touch as our paths took us hundreds/thousands of miles apart. We started designing sleeves, even. And let me tell you: using centimeters and millimeters was SO much more precise and far easier than using fucking inches.
"Nooj's true feelings on any given subject are unknown and unknowable. He is the butterfly flapping its wings in Peking. He is chaos and destruction and you shall never see his true form." - Merriweather

My Steam ID: yizashigreyspear
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Feh, all measurement systems other than Planck units are arbitrary bullshit.
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YOURE A PLANCK UNIT
“I feel a connection with you. A man connection. A mannection.”
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(04-07-2018, 01:27 PM)lightning slim Wrote: Five centimetres of snow. I know I’m in Canada but fuuuuck it’s past Easter.

5 cm? 

We are staring down the barrel of 2 fucking feet, which is....LOTS of cm. 

(did the research, they're predicting about 45 cm for my area)

A Hawaiian shirt is like a cash gift - always appropriate
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Meanwhile, I'm all sunburned.
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If this is a contest, we have a “potentially historic” storm happening right now. Three days of non stop freezing rain.
“I feel a connection with you. A man connection. A mannection.”
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Here in Hamilton we're getting fucked.
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(04-14-2018, 07:10 PM)bradito Wrote: Meanwhile, I'm all sunburned.

I hate you.

A Hawaiian shirt is like a cash gift - always appropriate
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We got 13.0 inches of snow here where I live. So far.

Because yes, it's still fucking snowing.
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I had the fan on and the window open to get to sleep on Friday.

Last night (Sunday), I had to plug the electric blanket back in.
"Nooj's true feelings on any given subject are unknown and unknowable. He is the butterfly flapping its wings in Peking. He is chaos and destruction and you shall never see his true form." - Merriweather

My Steam ID: yizashigreyspear
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Passed a kidney stone last night.

[Image: the-sound-of-music-convert-photos-to-dig...pg&fit=max]
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Ouch! I'm glad that's through, JB.
"Nooj's true feelings on any given subject are unknown and unknowable. He is the butterfly flapping its wings in Peking. He is chaos and destruction and you shall never see his true form." - Merriweather

My Steam ID: yizashigreyspear
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So.  I'm a bad guy because I don't want to go to a gender reveal party???
Seriously  do we have to have a damn party over every little thing?  The gender??? Give me a break.  Let's pop a stupid balloon and watch all the fake friends freak out.  Guess what.  No one truly cares.  They only want to know what color onsies to buy. 
Oh.  And we're supposed to bring a dish to pass.
When does it stop!!!!!!!!
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With you on that one, Nick. I find the very idea of a gender reveal party to be incredibly arrogant on the part of the parents. Congrats on having a kid, just text me the gender please.
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