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Trumpocalypse Now
The US military is not briefing Trump on major cyber warfare operations against Russia because they do not trust the president not to betray those operations to it:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/15/us/po...e=Homepage

   
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Christ.
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(06-16-2019, 12:43 AM)bradito Wrote: Christ.

...has a shitload to answer for.
...don't do it
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Political satire is dead.

How on Earth would you satirize this?

All anyone will be able to do is what South Park did for Mormons/Scientology: Put all the crazy on the screen in wild, cartoony form with the subtitle, "This is what actually happened".
Gamertag: Tweakee
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Well...let's hope he doesn't read this thread @_@
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I’m pretty sure the only thing Trump reads is Big ‘Uns.
PSN Handle: chetripley80
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https://twitter.com/ABC/status/1140461330601848832

Come off like a fucking teenage primadonna....CHECK
Look like a sickly albino raccoon......SUPER DUPER CHECK
I used to be with "it", but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what I'm with isn't "it", and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me.   -Grandpa Simpson
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I just never knew a single face could appear to have three sphincters on it.
Gamertag: Tweakee
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https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-adm...5c419ff17d

Quote:Both Japan and Germany have requested more concrete evidence to support the Trump administration’s insistence that Iran was behind the twin attacks on the Norwegian-owned Front Altar and the Japanese-owned Kokuka Courageous near the Strait of Hormuz on Thursday.

U.S. allies ― and the owner of the vessel itself ― have disagreed with this conclusion. The president of Kokuka said at a press conference that the Courageous appeared to be struck by something that “flew towards the ship,” and not by a mine as the Trump administration has suggested.

One such attack cited by the secretary of state was a May 31 car bomb in Kabul, Afghanistan, that injured four U.S. service members and killed four Afghans. The Taliban claimed responsibility for that attack but Pompeo insisted that it was really Iran who was behind the bombing. 

Experts have cast doubt on this claim, however.  

Only this group of moronic assholes could make Iran look like the good guys.
Gamertag: Tweakee
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Even if Iran is escalating tensions, I just don't see other countries' leaders wanting to rally behind Donald Trump over anything.  A lethal partnership with Trump that starts a 50-year war won't be an easy sell anywhere. 

Besides, Trump has no capital built up after years of lying.  When your people are lying about easily-provable stuff like crowd sizes, who'd believe them over serious stuff like war?  The only people who'd believe Trump are his voters, and he (mostly) sold them on the idea that these wars are dumb.
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Iran Threatens to Break Nuclear Deal’s Uranium Stockpile Limit

Step by step, both sides seem to be helping to build toward a disaster we cannot walk back from. Can you imagine if something similar to the 2016 detained US sailors incident happened now? Trump would be calling for blood instantly.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/iran-threa...t?ref=home
"You want a vision of the future?Imagine a boot stomping on a human face.....forever."
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Honestly, nothing will surprise me anymore. Any sane society would've shitcanned this asswipe just on principle. But...we're not a sane society. Let's leave the five year old behind the wheel of the car because hey, he hasn't killed anyone YET...so everything is cool! Right?
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Remember those corrupt, Brazilian businessmen who've collected millions in taxpayer-funded bailouts that were meant for U.S. farmers? Trump's Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue denies he ever met any of them, but a press release from the time he was Georgia's governor says otherwise. 

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/politic...story.html

Quote:Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue tried to rewrite history Wednesday by denying he ever met with a corrupt Brazilian businessman whose massive meatpacking firm is being grilled for collecting millions in U.S. taxpayer-funded farm bailouts.

In a brief statement to the Daily News, a spokesman for Perdue contradicted a press release put out when the agriculture secretary served as Georgia governor about a powwow he had with Wesley Batista — who, with his brother, Joesley, controls the world’s largest meatpacker, Brazil’s JBS SA.

"Secretary Perdue has not met with Wesley or Joesley Batista,” the spokesman said when asked pointedly if Perdue has ever met either of the Batistas, who have confessed to bribing some 1,800 government officials in Brazil.

But the May 26, 2010, release from then-Gov. Perdue’s office states that he met with Wesley Batista for the opening of a JBS-owned chicken plant in Douglas, Ga.

Also in attendance for the plant opening were another Batista brother, Jose Batista Jr., and family patriarch Jose Batista Sobrinho, the founder of JBS SA, according to Perdue’s press release.
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(06-17-2019, 09:19 AM)fraid uh noman Wrote: Let's leave the five year old behind the wheel of the car because hey, he hasn't killed anyone white that we care about YET...
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This whole thing with Iran feels like a mutual Reichstag fire for both of the asshole administrations.
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(06-17-2019, 12:25 PM)Judas Booth Wrote: This whole thing with Iran feels like a mutual Reichstag fire for both of the asshole administrations.

Iran's leaders have to know they would lose any military conflict and be killed in the process right? I mean there are any number of ways Iran can make an attack/invasion very costly for the US, but the end result would be Iran's military and economy being destroyed. Unless Iran's leaders think we would only do an air campaign and give up after a couple months while they hide in a bunker. I know Trump and his ilk are delusional but are the Iranian higher ups just as bad?
"You want a vision of the future?Imagine a boot stomping on a human face.....forever."
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That's what doesn't make a lot of sense to me (with the full caveat that I know fuckall about military strategy, terror tactics, or the mindsets/goals of oppressive religious regimes): assuming Iran did the bombing, what's their immediate and long term goals with it? I can't believe they want to become another Iraq. And they obviously know they can't win a full scale war with the U.S.
"Nooj's true feelings on any given subject are unknown and unknowable. He is the butterfly flapping its wings in Peking. He is chaos and destruction and you shall never see his true form." - Merriweather

My Steam ID: yizashigreyspear
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If Iran was actually stupid enough to think there was any positive outcome in attempting to pull off shit like this, IQs have definitely gone down on a global scale. There will be no winners if this escalates. Still, based on the initial sniff test, this appears to have all the makings IRAQ Parts I & II; which, of course, plucked some its best story elements directly from another franchise of lies that had a solid run: Vietnam. I'm just waiting for the big scene where Pompeo shows up at the UN to present his 'concrete evidence'.
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(06-17-2019, 01:18 PM)MichaelM Wrote: That's what doesn't make a lot of sense to me (with the full caveat that I know fuckall about military strategy, terror tactics, or the mindsets/goals of oppressive religious regimes): assuming Iran did the bombing, what's their immediate and long term goals with it? I can't believe they want to become another Iraq. And they obviously know they can't win a full scale war with the U.S.

It really does seem like a cluster fuck of incompetence and delusion on each side. Either Iran didn't do it which requires all kinds of almost conspiracy thinking that it was then the US/Saudia Arabia/Whoever hates Iran and they are trying to get the country invaded. Although with the above mentioned countries' records of lying, that's actually not much of a stretch. Or Iran did do it, which means A). They are truly desperate to get sanctions removed and their economy connected to the world at large and are lashing out in frustration, hoping all sides will come to terms rather then go to war. And B). They think the US (Trump specifically so close to an election year) are too stretched globally, war weary, and tired to launch a war in retaliation for Iranian actions. Or worse, Iran doesn't care about being attach because they think they could bloody our nose enough to make any attack/invasion fail with their leaders managing to stay in power afterwards while the US is disgraced and shunned internationally and possibly humiliated militarily. Sounds hard to believe it but wouldn't be the first time heads of state have not acted rationally. And history has had these kinds of military upsets before. Either way, all of these possibilities bring us to a shitty conclusion to this whole mess. The best case scenario might be for Trump to negotiate a weaker Iran Deal and then claim victory, as he often does. Or just punt his fuck ups to the next administration.
"You want a vision of the future?Imagine a boot stomping on a human face.....forever."
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Rhetorically speaking, who would stand to profit from a conflict between the US and Iran?

And 'profit' not just being necessarily monetary in nature.
I used to be with "it", but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what I'm with isn't "it", and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me.   -Grandpa Simpson
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(06-17-2019, 02:16 PM)vtran Wrote: Rhetorically speaking, who would stand to profit from a conflict between the US and Iran?

And 'profit' not just being necessarily monetary in nature.

Russia, and possibly China?
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Saudi's would be loving it. Israel in the hizz also.
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(06-17-2019, 12:48 PM)bigbrother Wrote:
(06-17-2019, 12:25 PM)Judas Booth Wrote: This whole thing with Iran feels like a mutual Reichstag fire for both of the asshole administrations.

Iran's leaders have to know they would lose any military conflict and be killed in the process right? I mean there are any number of ways Iran can make an attack/invasion very costly for the US, but the end result would be Iran's military and economy being destroyed.

I wouldn’t be so sure. The US military staged an elaborate war games in the Persian Gulf back in 2002 against a simulated Iranian enemy and got totally fucking rinsed.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millenni...lenge_2002
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The US staged another elaborate ME war game in 2003, went a little better.
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I was just about to say that. If I understand correctly, they had to fudge things even then to pull that off.
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Where would public support be for the war effort if we lost an aircraft carrier or two, which would almost certainly happen?
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(06-17-2019, 03:17 PM)Amos Wrote: Where would public support be for the war effort if we lost an aircraft carrier or two, which would almost certainly happen?

I think the general U.S. populace would be calling for using tactical nukes to make Iran a radioactive parking lot if we knew they were responsible for the deaths of hundreds of military personnel.
"Nooj's true feelings on any given subject are unknown and unknowable. He is the butterfly flapping its wings in Peking. He is chaos and destruction and you shall never see his true form." - Merriweather

My Steam ID: yizashigreyspear
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Eh, depends on how you define “cause”.

If a person kicks a beehive and gets stung, is that the beehive’s fault?
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(06-17-2019, 03:22 PM)MichaelM Wrote:
(06-17-2019, 03:17 PM)Amos Wrote: Where would public support be for the war effort if we lost an aircraft carrier or two, which would almost certainly happen?

I think the general U.S. populace would be calling for using tactical nukes to make Iran a radioactive parking lot if we knew they were responsible for the deaths of hundreds of military personnel.

The rally behind the flag effect terrifies me into thinking Trump really would push for war before the 2020 elections. All Bolton has to do is tell him how great George W. Bush's approval numbers were (initially) after 9-11 and the beginning of the Iraq War and Trump won't think about the aftermath. That shit got Bush reelected. Trumps poll numbers and winning reelection are all he cares about.
"You want a vision of the future?Imagine a boot stomping on a human face.....forever."
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I take a small amount of solace knowing these jokers aren’t the Machiavellian ghouls W had. They couldn’t get the coup in Venezuela to stick, and so far seem to be floundering as they try to gin up war with Iran.

I don’t blame any nation state for wanting nukes, btw. It’s the only sure-fire way to earn a seat at the big kids table.
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(06-17-2019, 03:17 PM)Amos Wrote: Where would public support be for the war effort if we lost an aircraft carrier or two, which would almost certainly happen?

All the cards are in the hands of those with the power to make war (in this case, the most amoral, reprehensible assholes imaginable). 

It doesn't matter if Trump and co. transparently start a false war with Iran: the second Iran strikes back with any sort of success, the formerly critical media - and many, many anti-war people - will, for all practical purposes, side with the president. 

Eventually history, and the public, will largely crucify the warmongers' reputations, but that will be long, long after however many hundreds of thousands of lives have been lost.
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(06-17-2019, 03:47 PM)Amos Wrote: I take a small amount of solace knowing these jokers aren’t the Machiavellian ghouls W had. They couldn’t get the coup in Venezuela to stick, and so far seem to be floundering as they try to gin up war with Iran.
We should be grateful that none of these clowns have Dick Cheney's baseline competence. Think how bad things could be if these guys had the slightest hint of a clue.
I was in a horror-comedy called BLACK HOLLER. It's now on Prime Video. Check it out!
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(06-17-2019, 03:00 PM)Amos Wrote:
(06-17-2019, 12:48 PM)bigbrother Wrote:
(06-17-2019, 12:25 PM)Judas Booth Wrote: This whole thing with Iran feels like a mutual Reichstag fire for both of the asshole administrations.

Iran's leaders have to know they would lose any military conflict and be killed in the process right? I mean there are any number of ways Iran can make an attack/invasion very costly for the US, but the end result would be Iran's military and economy being destroyed.

I wouldn’t be so sure. The US military staged an elaborate war games in the Persian Gulf back in 2002 against a simulated Iranian enemy and got totally fucking rinsed.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millenni...lenge_2002

Quote:After the war game was restarted, its participants were forced to follow a script drafted to ensure a Blue Force victory. Among other rules imposed by this script, Red Force was ordered to turn on their anti-aircraft radar in order for them to be destroyed, and was not allowed to shoot down any of the aircraft bringing Blue Force troops ashore.

Where in the hell is in the value in that?  Aside from the likely engorged members of those in charge of the Blue Force?
My karmic debt must be huge.

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Seems like Red went way too hard in practice. Team Blue going with that Iverson attitude.
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"If you're going to cough, please leave the room. You just can't, you just can't cough."

Any chance we can get chronic coughers embedded in his rally crowds? This is going to make protests interesting.
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