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Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker (Post-Release Discussion)
Can someone get Ghost Luke some hair moisturizer?
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Get rid of Jannah and make that Rose. Or give all of the hobbits lines to rose? It just seems so petty.
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So, how many Disney+ series did THE RISE OF SKYWALKER setup?
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(12-22-2019, 07:28 AM)barry woodward Wrote: So, how many Disney+ series did THE RISE OF SKYWALKER setup?

That people would give a shit about and want to watch?

0.
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You wouldn't be interested in a Keri Russell led Zorii Bliss series featuring Babu Frik and D-O?
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(12-22-2019, 07:40 AM)barry woodward Wrote: You wouldn't be interested in a Keri Russell led Zorii Bliss series featuring Babu Frik and D-O?

Absolutely not. Babu is fun for one scene. D-O is for toys. Zorii Bliss is a nothing of a character. There's less of a TV show than the Cassian Andor idea.

I said it in the Star Wars TV thread. I want a TV show that reimagines the prequels, a Doctor Who inspired Holiday Special that's good and fun and tongue in cheek, and an epic sweeping GoT inspired massive ensemble cast KOTOR series that borrows from both video games and the MMO's.

I want all that. Give me that Barry. Start writing letters!
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(12-20-2019, 04:34 AM)catartik Wrote: "I am all da Sith!"
"I am all da Jedi!"
"I am Iron Man."

...she SHOULD of said, “I am no one...”
...don't do it
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(12-22-2019, 08:15 AM)graham Wrote:
(12-20-2019, 04:34 AM)catartik Wrote: "I am all da Sith!"
"I am all da Jedi!"
"I am Iron Man."

...she SHOULD of said, “I am no one...”

A snappy line, but unfortunately it goes directly against her story thematically, as indicated by the final scene. I mean... I guess. I think.
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It would of given Johnson some pay-back.
...don't do it
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(12-22-2019, 08:07 AM)freeman Wrote: Absolutely not. Babu is fun for one scene. D-O is for toys. Zorii Bliss is a nothing of a character.

Have you not seen THE AMERICANS or FELICITY? Keri Russell is an acting powerhouse and Zorii Bliss is a character with potential and a super cool getup. With the right showrunner the series would be fire. Throw Babu Frik and D-O in mix and you can't lose. #MoveOverBabyYoda
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(12-22-2019, 08:22 AM)graham Wrote: It would of given Johnson some pay-back.

Nah. This movie is determined to pretend that Rian Johnson is a terrible filmmaker. Which is ADORABLE for a shit film to throw shade. Not a good look.

(12-22-2019, 08:23 AM)barry woodward Wrote:
(12-22-2019, 08:07 AM)freeman Wrote: Absolutely not. Babu is fun for one scene. D-O is for toys. Zorii Bliss is a nothing of a character.

Have you not seen THE AMERICANS or FELICITY? Keri Russell is an acting powerhouse and Zorii Bliss is a character with potential and a super cool getup. With the right showrunner the series would be fire. Throw Babu Frik and D-O in mix and you can't lose. #MoveOverBabyYoda

BARRY I DON'T WANT IT NO MEANS NO
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(12-22-2019, 07:28 AM)barry woodward Wrote: So, how many Disney+ series did THE RISE OF SKYWALKER setup?

Pretty much zero since they're not going to get the principals back for TV anytime soon, virtually no one gives a shit about the second string, and Disney doesn't have the capacity to move past Imperial imagery so would have no idea what to do for antagonists in any series set after the movie.

Lots of novel and comic book strings set up though, and I'm sure the hardcores will still buy them. Hey, maybe they'll actually explain how Palpatine was alive and why he even needed the First Order.

In point of fact this was the first Star Wars movie in history that not only did I see all those "interesting stories for another time" seeds.  I actually got pissed at how blatant, ham fisted, and desperate it was and had no real interest in seeing/reading any of them.  Kinda like a certain shillposter here.
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Kerri Russell was utterly wasted in this film. For fuck's sake, she didn't even get to show her face.
-"You're not going insane - you're going sane in a crazy world!"
-The Tick
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(12-22-2019, 09:27 AM)Anjin Wrote: Kerri Russell was utterly wasted in this film. For fuck's sake, she didn't even get to show her face.

Yeah but it's like a commentary on how society doesn't see women or something. That's certainly what JJ was trying to say.
“I call upon you to stop this musical now,” she said to the board. “You tear a community apart if you don’t.” -Prachi Ruina                                                            
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Did y'all see a different cut of the film? In the version I saw Keri Russell did show her face, at least in part. She opened her visor and had a whole dialogue scene with Poe.
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No she didn't.

Barry disembodied eyes are not a face.
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We got some eyebrow, bridge of the nose and cheekbone action as well. Besides, eyes are the windows to the soul. I thought Russell's voice acting and body language communicated plenty.
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(12-22-2019, 09:37 AM)freeman Wrote: No she didn't.

Barry disembodied eyes are not a face.

I honestly thought Billy Idol had settled any question of that a long time ago.
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(12-22-2019, 09:40 AM)barry woodward Wrote: We got some eyebrow, bridge of the nose and cheekbone action as well. Besides, eyes are the windows to the soul. 

laughing so hard right now



stlll laughing
the empire never ended
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When a girl flashes me the bridge of her nose?

DAYUM.
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I'm all about that cheekbone action.
I was in a horror-comedy called BLACK HOLLER. It's now on Prime Video. Check it out!
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(12-22-2019, 07:19 AM)Bucho Wrote: On the plus side, how about Ben Solo's shrug when he gets the light saber teleported from Rey? So good.

That's another one of those little moments where you can tell Driver was going, "Okay, I'm playing the son of Han Solo, now."
If we can dream it, then we can do it.
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The little gesture toward the Knights when the tables are about to turn? Yeah, that's great.
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“round 2 fellas?”
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Rejoice everyone! I liked this movie a lot!

The opening 20 minutes are sort of useless, it's long as fuck as there are some choices I hated (ugh at Rey being Palpantine's granddaughter) but overall a solid ending to the trilogy.
I might have been born yesterday sir, but I stayed up all night!
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See, it's pretty good.
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(12-22-2019, 07:28 AM)barry woodward Wrote: So, how many Disney+ series did THE RISE OF SKYWALKER setup?

Babu Frik's Robot Shop
- Obviously

Sex in Coruscant City 
- A prequel show about Palps' dating life

What We Do In The Force Shadows 
- All of the Force Ghosts whose voices Rey heard live together

The Beaumont Kin Maneuver
- Dominic Monaghan plays 4th fiddle to actual consequential characters

Ooooh, even better - in the first ep of What We Do In The Force Shadows Ben Solo turns up, so the show is about him learning the ropes of being a Force ghost!

Fuck I'm good.
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Who's Rey's grandmother, anyway?
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Jumanji ticket in hand, saw this last night. Didn't take the kids.

Lots to unpack. So. Much. Unpacking. Collection of random thoughts:

--Anyone pushing the "TROS was an attempt to mollify the 'hard-core' fans who detested TLJ" can fuck right off with that nonsense. This movie absolutely does NOT cater to the wishes of the very large segment of Star Wars fans (or the general audience) who didn't care for TLJ ... or even TFA for that matter. I mean, we do get a few throw-away bones like Luke catching his lightsaber, Luke not being a weird fucking bitter hermit (amazing I had to wait till the third movie for any appearance of a Luke Skywalker who is even slightly recognizable as the character we saw at the end of ROTJ), Luke lifting his X-Wing, and quite a few visual cues or familiar sights. But, on the whole, this movie is absolutely NOT a direct repudiation or reaction to TLJ. Not only does it double down on the major characterization issues that TLJ-"dislikers" detested, but it also fails to deliver on almost any of the thematic strands introduced in TLJ ... they managed the dififcult feat of making a film that I predict will disappoint both segments of the audience.

--Disney has now made five Star Wars movies. Only one of them features a lightsaber duel in which both combatants are actively trying to kill the other participant. We haven't seen one since the very first entry (The Force Awakens). Absolute insanity. Anyone who thinks this movie was "made for hardcore fans" doesn't know what hardcore fans want.

--Nearly every narrative problem that I and many others (I am not alone in this, it was a common observation) predicted would be an issue post-TLJ came to pass. There's an entire fucking trilogy of exposition and narrative jammed into this movie because the directors of the first two entries weren't on the same page and TLJ left nothing but scorched earth and dead-ends to build from. The first hour of this movie was giving me whiplash we were cutting around and setting up new plot-points so rapidly. It seriously was becoming fucking exhausting.

--This movie has dreadful pacing problems ... to the point that I felt like I needed a break to decompress by the time we get to Death Star 2.0. But, what choice did they have? Rey didn't join Kylo, Luke is dead, Carrie Fisher is dead in real life, we have to retcon Rey's heritage because the two prior entries don't mesh with each other, so they needed to establish an entirely new narrative.

--This movie works better in a vacuum ... ignore that either of the prior two films existed. In fact, although I'm quite disappointed with it, this is easily the most rewatchable of the trilogy. If you forget TFA and TLJ, this movie tells a fairly self-contained story ... you just drop in with Rey's training and forget that two directors of a four billion dollar franchise are warring with each other over competing visions for this trilogy.

--They knew Carrie Fisher had passed away LONG before TLJ was finalized. They still had Luke die even though the natural role one would have expected him to fill (training Rey) is given to Leia. They apparently had a surprising amount of footage to work with, but still ... WTF kind of planning is that? I would argue that where we are during the end of Rey's year-long largely offscreen training montage is actually where TLJ SHOULD HAVE FUCKING STARTED. TLJ should have picked up one year after TFA with Luke having trained Rey. Also, as soon as they showed Leia and Luke training I knew, KNEW, that Luke would get embarrassed in some fashion by Leia. Yup, there it was! OF COURSE.

--TLJ is rendered entirely redundant and moot with this film. Entirely. Zero of its thematic messaging is continued. The ONLY plot strand that's picked up is the Kylo-Ren romance, a pretty shallow and uninteresting concept if you ask me. TFA, is rendered maybe 75% irrelevant.

--"Fan-service." A movie which undoes the legacy of Anakin Skywalker and Luke Skywalker and instead hands their victory(ies) to Rey Palpatine is not fan-service. It is the opposite of fan-service.

--The Sith planet was a cool design. Should have been introduced in movie one. A lot of its aesthetics, however, don't feel like Star Wars. They felt like video game sets. TOR/KOTOR seem like an obvious inspiration. Glaados apparently let Palpatine borrow her rig so he could move around his bizarre throne room arena. Love the unexplained adherents in robes who managed to fashion an entire super-fleet out of a world filled with nothing but broken stone statues. Dumb as fucking shit. Looked cool, but think about it for one second and you're like "WTF is this?"

--So ... where'd the nu-nu-Resistance come from? There was the Falcon and 10 people left at the end of TLJ. Within TROS they explicitly say that NO ONE had, as of yet, answered their call. Now suddenly there's a new resistance? Analog, I think, called it: they'll just have a new one with no explanation. Yeah, that's exactly what they did.

--One of the few plot strands from TFA to survive TLJ was the Knights of Ren. They seemed like the obvious solution to multiple problems: they could have been the new antagonists, with maybe one in particular being the new "big bad," they could have been something for Rey and Kylo to combat instead of each other (which we'd already seen twice), and they also might have given us some Force Users™ to utilize in later movies. I thought FOR SURE that the Knights would turn out to be largely ex-students of Luke's. Nope! Wiping them out? Trivially easy, barely an inconvenience. I think Kylo was using his grandfather's repaired lightsaber, but the editing was so frenetic it was tough to tell.

-- Favorite part of the film, by a mile, was the middle section. We had 30-45 minutes of breakneck exposition that should have happened in prior films, then we get an hour or so of actual enjoyable Star Wars content where they are chasing a MacGuffin (this is clearly where JJ's inclinations as a filmmaker lie ... Macguffin quests). Then we're at Death Star 2.0 and we're back to incoherent nonsense.

--The re-shoots and editing is palpable and it is awful. Palpatine changes motivations by my count at least THREE FUCKING TIMES. Initially he is presented as being on the verge of returning from hiding. He wants Rey dead during this period, as he tells Kylo on multiple occasions to kill her. Then, he meets Rey, says "I didn't want to kill you, just kidding, I want you to kill me and become Emperor." WTF? So, what if Kylo had actually succeeded? Like, what the fuck were you doing? He then switches to wanting to revive himself using Kylo and Rey's "daiad powers," a neat trick ... and one that you would think he would have considered already. And finally he decides to kill his grand-daughter and Kylo. It's slapdash, it's incoherent, and they needed more time to work this out. And better writers.

--The Emperor's power in this is unfathomable. Just ... sheer insanity. He lifts an entire fucking fleet from out under the ice with no apparent exertion. He unleashes a torrent of lightning that rivals the Death Star with its apparent power. Unfortunately, with unlimited power comes no off switch, as for the THIRD FUCKING TIME WE SAW A FINALE IN WHICH THE EMPEROR IS ATTEMPTING TO ELECTROCUTE SOMEONE AND HIS POWERS GO AWRY. For fuck's sake.

--Rose is just completely sidelined. I mean, it's a little bit fucking comical. They didn't have the balls to kill her off, so instead they'll just pretend one of the worst scenes of TLJ didn't happen and have zero follow-up for it.

--"Fan-service" ... they don't walk back from Luke's characterization in TLJ, at all. I was thinking they'd establish a narrative that the cave on Achhoo was "poisoning Luke's mind" to retcon his bizarre presentation. Rey uses a forbidden technique in the books to bring him back (linking it to the Plagueis monologue). She needs Luke cause the knights and Kylo kick her ass in opening scene. Bringing Luke back opens a "door" for the Emperor to return. Maybe he emerges from a familiar cave on Dagobah with Kylo having landed after feeling a tremendous dark side surge. Balance and all that. Enthusiasm would have been sky high. Nope!

--We never knew what Finn was going to tell Rey. Good story. For another time.

--This is Star Wars, not nebula wars and not planet atmosphere wars. How the hell did that miraculous fleet of "people" get through that treacherous nonsensical red nebula surrounding the Sith homeworld?

--Correct me if I'm wrong, but other than Ben not a single "name" actor or even recognizable face died in this, did they? Not one. They REALLY didn't want to worry about pissing anyone off.

--Oscar Isaac really did a heroic job trying to save his role and his lines. The guy has a ton of charisma.

--New Force Powers! I can assure you that "fan-service" did NOT include suddenly introduced vast-overarching Force powers that completely change the lore.

--Why is Rey always running with a lit lightsaber? I think this happened maybe a dozen times in this film. Dangerous and needless.

--Rey ... hooo boy. She shoots lightning and says she wants to join Kylo. Maybe they'll actually fucking do something with this! Nope. Of course she's never REALLY tempted, immediately regrets her actions. Glad she learned how to pilot a small craft during 100 foot waves at some point on Jaaku. Guess the Force let her do it. Instinctively knows how to heal a giant snake. Somehow knows that the Emperor will kill himself if she crosses two lightsabers in front of her, the eternal symbol of "stop."

--She should have had the gold lightsaber from the beginning. Fabricate it after completing her training with Leia. Another glaring missed opportunity.

--The Snoke clone being puppets of the Emperor is, of course, an obvious attempt to retcon Snoke's role. While it's nice to have some explanation, it's half-baked. First, why do the clones in the tank look like the elderly Snoke? They're cloning some old crippled looking man over and over again? Huh? Shouldn't they be young looking? Additionally, didn't Snoke say that he had been around a while (I can't remember the initial dialogue). It's hinted that he's older than The Empire. So Palpatine was making these clones from the beginning? Where did he have time to create this massive plan on the Sith Homeworld? They should have just introduced a new Sith villain and let the Emperor remain dead. In service of this disappointing film they basically undid/re-made the resolutions of the two prior trilogies. We never even received a follow-up to the "life from nothing" and "Darth Plagueis" stories from the prequels, which might have actually done a lot to link this fractured mess together.

--And of course Ben dies. The one interesting thing that this movie could have done is have Ben live and end up with Rey (although her initial attraction to a murderous lunatic would still be creepily weird). Give us something in 5'ish years to maybe start new from, with a live Skywalker scion having hooked up with a live Palpatine scion. Nope. Had to kill him off. Of course! Narrative dead-end after narrative dead-end with this abomination of a trilogy. Although I hesitate to call it a trilogy as each film feels entirely and completely incongruous not only with the other entries, but to a large part with the preceding six films in the saga.

--Everyone with a drop of Skywalker blood is dead. Palpatine's heir is alive. Uhhh ... victory?

--They Gamora'ed Threepio. Nice fake-out death only to just reboot his memory a scene later. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

--The death of a certain character in Mandalorian hits 10000x harder than anything in this movie. That should tell you something.

--There is a random part of this film where Poe is offering a narrative voiceover of an army (again, where did this army come from?) mobilizing. It is unclear whether he is talking in real-time or whether it's a flash-forward. Star Wars doesn't do that kind of thing. Awkward and another sign of rushed editing.

--Finn has no real resolution that I know of. Again, he's hinted at being Force Sensitive. WHERE THE FUCK WAS THAT IN THE PRIOR FILM AFTER IT WAS SUGGESTED IN TFA. And, of course, no real follow-up. Thought for sure in that last scene he'd be shown to be a pupil of Rey, nope. We just had to have Rey Palpatine all by herself for the last five minutes of the movie.

--The Sith dagger. Wasn't it supposed to be ancient? Than why the hell does it match up exactly to the wreckage of Death Star 2.0? We've got macguffin after macguffin here. STUPID AS FUCK.

--So Rey's parents ... did Palpy have a lady friend? Which one of her parents was Palpatine's heir? Good questions. For a never-to-be-answered time.

--"A thousand generations live in you." Huh? Did this suddenly become the Last Airbender? I don't buy for one second that Palpatine is going to let himself die so his grand-daughter can rule. Take over her body? Maybe, I could see that.

--Nice to see Meriadoc Brandybuck still gets work from time to time. "Holdo maneuver is a million to one." Well, the fact that the people in charge of Star Wars felt the need to retcon this plot-point settles once and for all whether Ryan Johnson got the mechanics of warp travel wrong in TLJ; he did, Disney recognized it as "world-breaking," so they wished it into the cornfield. At least that debate is settled once and for all and need not be discussed again.

--The horse charge on the Star Destroyer. For fuck's sake. Why? When I think Star Wars, I definitely think of horses charging on a mechanized combat landscape.

--Rogue One had a brilliantly conceived and executed space battle ... a battle that takes place in space between ships and we have some semblance of what is going on and what the strategy is. We did not receive a single even decent space battle in the sequel trilogy. Not fucking one. Take the "fan-service" narrative and throw it the fuck out the window.

--Why'd they bring back Billy Dee? I mean, it was cool to see him, but other than be charming and act as a quest waypoint, he does nothing in this video game of a movie.

--The score for this was ... disappointing? Williams has always leaned towards the BOMBASTIC, but there's a fine line between evocative and intrusive. I found myself hoping at times that the orchestra would die down a bit so we could have some quiet to focus on the characters. Stop trying to force me to emotionally respond to bizarre scenes that have received no build-up by having the score constantly shoved down my throat.

--Let this sad, sad era of Star Wars end. There should be pink slips personally handed by Iger to a whole bunch of people. This entire trilogy is incongruous, damages prior films, and isn't satisfying in and of itself. And, it cannot be said enough, the idea that this movie represents a "walk-back" to TLJ or "fan-service" is just laughable. They didn't retcon almost anything that disappointed fans REALLY cared about (with the exception of Rey's parentage) and they double-downed on a whole bunch of shit that has already pissed fans off ... most notably plot points that detract from the legacy of the OT characters.

--The box office of this film pretty much tells the story of the sequel trilogy post-TLJ. They're at 175 million for opening weekend. But the real scary part (for Disney) is that Saturday was "flat" compared to Friday. That's a bad, bad, bad, bad sign for a film's legs. We maybe looking at a sub billlion dollar Star Wars saga film. "Small vocal minority," "Russian bots," "toxic fandom," .... BULL. FUCKING. SHIT. TLJ opened 9% behind TFA and ended up 35-40% behind. Physical media sales for TLJ were half that of TFA. This franchise, with one entry, killed off roughly half of its audience? We're looking at 900-1.2 billion as a reasonable range, despite this being the final film in the "Skywalker" saga.

--Ironically, and this will likely surprise many of you, but TROS probably would have been a much stronger movie if it actually had been a decided sequel to TLJ rather than a soft-reboot of ROTJ. At some point coherency and cohesion is going to win out over disjointed and haphazard, even if you aren't particularly happy with where the story is going.

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(12-22-2019, 03:52 PM)bradito Wrote: Who's Rey's grandmother, anyway?

A good question.

For another time.

That time being November 2022 when Season 3 of Sex on Coruscant City airs, to be more precise.
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Palpatine is such a Samantha.

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(12-22-2019, 08:07 AM)freeman Wrote:
(12-22-2019, 07:40 AM)barry woodward Wrote: You wouldn't be interested in a Keri Russell led Zorii Bliss series featuring Babu Frik and D-O?

Absolutely not.  Babu is fun for one scene. D-O is for toys.  Zorii Bliss is a nothing of a character.  There's less of a TV show than the Cassian Andor idea.

I said it in the Star Wars TV thread.  I want a TV show that reimagines the prequels, a Doctor Who inspired Holiday Special that's good and fun and tongue in cheek, and an epic sweeping GoT inspired massive ensemble cast KOTOR series that borrows from both video games and the MMO's.

I want all that.  Give me that Barry.  Start writing letters!

Zorii Bliss makes absolutely no sense as a character. She's simultaneously the 'I'm getting the fuck out of dodge and never looking back, come with me' character AND the 'don't give up hope, the only way the bad guys win is if we think they already have' character IN THE SAME SCENE. That's how fucking sloppy this movie is.

Oh yeah, I did not like this movie. It's the sequel to the Episode VIII that JJ had originally planned, with some stuff hastily crossed out and new lines written in the margins to address the curveballs that Rian Johnson had thrown at him that he couldn't just straight up ignore.

Also apparently just fuck off with even recently established Star Wars canon:

Apparently Imperial Star Destroyers are capable of mounting Death Star guns now even though it took 20+ years of design and engineering to actually design and build the power system for the first Death Star and it required, y'know, THE DEATH STAR to contain its reactor.

The Sith were thought to be extinct as an order of force users for thousands of years in the prequel trilogy, the word is literally never used in the original trilogy, and only mentioned once in the sequel trilogy before this but suddenly everybody is talking about old Sith legends and "dark powers and science known only to the Sith!" Like cloning! (WHAT?!) Also the Sith had their own language (that Threepio can read? How did 10 year old Anakin get the Sith Language Pack to install in Threepio?)? Why? That'd be like the Catholics having their own language, wouldn't it?

Leia had pretty much completed her Jedi training with Luke before setting it aside to go back to politics, instead of just never doing Jedi training at all. Also Luke's Jedi Training 101 plan is super combat focused for some reason. Yoda never had Luke turn on his lightsaber even once.

Poe was a spice runner before joining the Resistance? No he wasn't. He was commander of Rapier Squadron. And kind of a cop.

The Sith Rule of Two is apparently out the window, considering the hundreds of Sith Cultists hanging out with Palpatine.

'Lightspeed skipping' is a thing even though it's insanely dangerous to jump to lightspeed without a carefully pre-computed course. And First Order TIE Fighters are capable of tracking the Falcon through lightspeed (another just big ol' middle finger to The Last Jedi, Thanks JJ!).


There were a couple of things I did like: I liked confirming Finn as Force Sensitive. I feel like that was a ball that TLJ dropped that it shouldn't have because it's the only thing that makes Finn's storm trooper conditioning breaking as completely as it did make even a lick of sense. I thought Ben's turn back to the light was actually well done (though it's not what I would've done with him. I mean, it's still just a retread of Darth Vader's arc.) And I think there was a missed opportunity by not having the First Order fleet jump in, giving us a couple seconds of the Resistance thinking they're SUPER fucked, and then the FO starts opening fire on the Sith Fleet on the orders of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, and THEN have the 'everybody else in the galaxy' fleet show up.
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Zori Bliss was fine. A cool design jazzed up by a decent performance, not *that* different to Boba Fett. I guess someone could make a spinoff but I have no idea why anyone would want that.

I was also absolutely delighted that they sidelined Rose.
I might have been born yesterday sir, but I stayed up all night!
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(12-22-2019, 04:30 PM)Fafhrd Wrote:
(12-22-2019, 08:07 AM)freeman Wrote:
(12-22-2019, 07:40 AM)barry woodward Wrote: You wouldn't be interested in a Keri Russell led Zorii Bliss series featuring Babu Frik and D-O?

Absolutely not.  Babu is fun for one scene. D-O is for toys.  Zorii Bliss is a nothing of a character.  There's less of a TV show than the Cassian Andor idea.

I said it in the Star Wars TV thread.  I want a TV show that reimagines the prequels, a Doctor Who inspired Holiday Special that's good and fun and tongue in cheek, and an epic sweeping GoT inspired massive ensemble cast KOTOR series that borrows from both video games and the MMO's.

I want all that.  Give me that Barry.  Start writing letters!

Zorii Bliss makes absolutely no sense as a character. She's simultaneously the 'I'm getting the fuck out of dodge and never looking back, come with me' character AND the 'don't give up hope, the only way the bad guys win is if we think they already have' character IN THE SAME SCENE. That's how fucking sloppy this movie is.

Oh yeah, I did not like this movie. It's the sequel to the Episode VIII that JJ had originally planned, with some stuff hastily crossed out and new lines written in the margins to address the curveballs that Rian Johnson had thrown at him that he couldn't just straight up ignore.

Also apparently just fuck off with even recently established Star Wars canon:

Apparently Imperial Star Destroyers are capable of mounting Death Star guns now even though it took 20+ years of design and engineering to actually design and build the power system for the first Death Star and it required, y'know, THE DEATH STAR to contain its reactor.

The Sith were thought to be extinct as an order of force users for thousands of years in the prequel trilogy, the word is literally never used in the original trilogy, and only mentioned once in the sequel trilogy before this but suddenly everybody is talking about old Sith legends and "dark powers and science known only to the Sith!" Like cloning! (WHAT?!) Also the Sith had their own language (that Threepio can read? How did 10 year old Anakin get the Sith Language Pack to install in Threepio?)? Why? That'd be like the Catholics having their own language, wouldn't it?

Leia had pretty much completed her Jedi training with Luke before setting it aside to go back to politics, instead of just never doing Jedi training at all. Also Luke's Jedi Training 101 plan is super combat focused for some reason. Yoda never had Luke turn on his lightsaber even once.

Poe was a spice runner before joining the Resistance? No he wasn't. He was commander of Rapier Squadron. And kind of a cop.

The Sith Rule of Two is apparently out the window, considering the hundreds of Sith Cultists hanging out with Palpatine.

'Lightspeed skipping' is a thing even though it's insanely dangerous to jump to lightspeed without a carefully pre-computed course. And First Order TIE Fighters are capable of tracking the Falcon through lightspeed (another just big ol' middle finger to The Last Jedi, Thanks JJ!).


There were a couple of things I did like: I liked confirming Finn as Force Sensitive. I feel like that was a ball that TLJ dropped that it shouldn't have because it's the only thing that makes Finn's storm trooper conditioning breaking as completely as it did make even a lick of sense. I thought Ben's turn back to the light was actually well done (though it's not what I would've done with him. I mean, it's still just a retread of Darth Vader's arc.) And I think there was a missed opportunity by not having the First Order fleet jump in, giving us a couple seconds of the Resistance thinking they're SUPER fucked, and then the FO starts opening fire on the Sith Fleet on the orders of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, and THEN have the 'everybody else in the galaxy' fleet show up.

I started to think about detailing all the canon mistakes (Tie Fighters don't have hyperspace drives you fucking Lucasfilm dimwits), but I gave up.  The movie is just an incoherent mess that contradicts its predecessors and existing canon when it isn't outright ignoring them.

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(12-22-2019, 03:38 PM)Bucho Wrote: Babu Frik's Robot Shop
- Obviously

There’s a cool anthology concept where every week Babu has to repair various droids as a framing device for stand-alone adventures that we flashback to the droids/their masters involved in.

I'm only half-joking.
If we can dream it, then we can do it.
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