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Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker (Post-Release Discussion)
(12-22-2019, 10:03 PM)commodorejohn Wrote: I want the opening scene of the next Disney Wars to just be someone going out to the old Lars homestead and digging up the lightsabers, then being all "this will begin to set things right!"

I think you just gave Disney the idea for Episode X!
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Cracked it, boys - the title refers to the movement in Ben's pants when he finally kisses a girl for the first, and last, time.

Wrap it up, we're done here.

(12-22-2019, 09:36 PM)farsight Wrote: My favorite part was the old lady just wandering by, like half-buried desert farm is along the way to market.

Imagine if Rey had been honest and told her the truth.

"Do you live here? Who are you?"
"Rey. Rey...Palpatine."
"Palpatine? Like that nice old fella who made the space trains run on time and increased my pension? I voted for him, things were much better around here when he was in charge. Those nice boys in the white suits kept all the beggars and riff-raff out. Nowadays since he's gone you can't get on the bus and hear people talk to other in Basic anymore, it's all these aliens speaking their indecent gibberish..."
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If they have me make Episode X, like they should, it'd be centred around Rose, Babu Frik and Chewie running a droid shop/droid courier service.

Rose would've been trained by Rey to be a Jedi, obviously.

Fuck I'm good.
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I'm glad during the year of training with Leia that time was taken to ensure that Rey knew who Lando Calrissian was AND was shown a photograph or two so that if she ever happened across him she'd recognize him immediately.

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It's called suspension of disbelief. It's similar to your suspension of joy but it actually comes from a positive non-troll place.
Originally Posted by ImmortanNick 

Saw Batman v Superman.
Now I know what it's like to see Nickelback in concert.

That's my review.
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(12-22-2019, 11:19 PM)Overlord Wrote: I'm glad during the year of training with Leia that time was taken to ensure that Rey knew who Lando Calrissian was AND was shown a photograph or two so that if she ever happened across him she'd recognize him immediately.

This reminds me of "HOW DOES LEIA KNOW HOW TO USE THE FORCE?!"

She lived with Luke for 30 years and she was Force-sensitive. Is it really THAT crazy to think Luke taught her a trick or two off screen?
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(12-22-2019, 11:40 PM)freeman Wrote:
(12-22-2019, 11:19 PM)Overlord Wrote: I'm glad during the year of training with Leia that time was taken to ensure that Rey knew who Lando Calrissian was AND was shown a photograph or two so that if she ever happened across him she'd recognize him immediately.

This reminds me of "HOW DOES LEIA KNOW HOW TO USE THE FORCE?!"

She lived with Luke for 30 years and she was Force-sensitive.  Is it really THAT crazy to think Luke taught her a trick or two off screen?

Nobody really complained about Leia using the Force.  She had displayed some semblance of Force Powers in ROTJ.  It's that the Leia Poppins scene was dumb as fuck.

I was just a little bit surprised Rey recognized Lando on sight rather than his having to introduce himself.

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Just saw this. I need to read the thread but jut based on the last couple of pages:

Super 8 > Star Trek 2009 > Force Awakens > Rise of Skywalker > Into Darkness

ROS is visually AMAZING but holy shit, what a fucking mess. It makes Last Jedi look so much better in comparison.

The reveal on Rey's parentage is so. Fucking. Dumb.
"Nooj's true feelings on any given subject are unknown and unknowable. He is the butterfly flapping its wings in Peking. He is chaos and destruction and you shall never see his true form." - Merriweather

My Steam ID: yizashigreyspear
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This thread is already so beautiful.
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(12-22-2019, 11:47 PM)commodorejohn Wrote: [Image: giphy.gif]
Originally Posted by ImmortanNick 

Saw Batman v Superman.
Now I know what it's like to see Nickelback in concert.

That's my review.
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I liked Leia Poppins. Anyone disliking it is just an old grump, cross arms and all!
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I liked that moment too but apparently there was *checks notes* a few people who didn't apparently.
Originally Posted by ImmortanNick 

Saw Batman v Superman.
Now I know what it's like to see Nickelback in concert.

That's my review.
Reply
New conspiracy: Disney secretly conspired with Tom Hooper and Universal Pictures to intentionally make CATS an epic disaster so that it would make TROS look more favorable and distract people from how much of a dumpster fire it really was.
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I know this is a joke but there are people who will spin that yarn for a certain crowd who will actually believe it.
Originally Posted by ImmortanNick 

Saw Batman v Superman.
Now I know what it's like to see Nickelback in concert.

That's my review.
Reply
True story: I think I prefer Cats to TROS. Both are dumpster fires, but Cats will haunt me until the day I die.

I’ll forget about TROS in a week. Just a nothing fucking movie.
"Why did she do it?"
"Why are you the fucking Police?"

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(12-23-2019, 12:47 AM)headless fett Wrote: I know this is a joke but there are people who will spin that yarn for a certain crowd who will actually believe it.

If they believed Disney paid critics for good reviews, they’d believe anything.
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And to anyone who keeps saying that TRoS is a deliberate retcon/response to TLJ...it wasn't but you just want to blame Abrams because it's easier to rage than to reason.
Originally Posted by ImmortanNick 

Saw Batman v Superman.
Now I know what it's like to see Nickelback in concert.

That's my review.
Reply
I mean, he made the movie. He's to credit or blame for it in any case.
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Yeah like there’s still plenty to point to JJ for why the movie sucks. So much of why the movie stinks is because of JJ’s weaknesses as a director.
"Why did she do it?"
"Why are you the fucking Police?"

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(12-22-2019, 11:42 PM)Overlord Wrote:
(12-22-2019, 11:40 PM)freeman Wrote:
(12-22-2019, 11:19 PM)Overlord Wrote: I'm glad during the year of training with Leia that time was taken to ensure that Rey knew who Lando Calrissian was AND was shown a photograph or two so that if she ever happened across him she'd recognize him immediately.

This reminds me of "HOW DOES LEIA KNOW HOW TO USE THE FORCE?!"

She lived with Luke for 30 years and she was Force-sensitive.  Is it really THAT crazy to think Luke taught her a trick or two off screen?

Nobody really complained about Leia using the Force.  She had displayed some semblance of Force Powers in ROTJ.  It's that the Leia Poppins scene was dumb as fuck.

I was just a little bit surprised Rey recognized Lando on sight rather than his having to introduce himself.

No no no no no no no no NO! You don't get to gaslight this. There was PLENTY of people saying "LEIA IS A FORCE GOD NOW?!?!?!" at the time.
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The challenge after this one won't be whether people like or dislike the story choices, but whether or not anyone gives a shit.
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I guess I'll be the lone voice of dissent and say that I'm continuing to like this movie the more I think about!

The dumb stuff is still REALLY dumb, but the two most important things -- Rey and Kylo -- really work for me.
If we can dream it, then we can do it.
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(12-23-2019, 01:56 AM)Belloq87 Wrote: I guess I'll be the lone voice of dissent and say that I'm continuing to like this movie the more I think about!

The dumb stuff is still REALLY dumb, but the two most important things -- Rey and Kylo -- really work for me.

So it's you then.

(Squints)

So be it... Jedi.
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(12-23-2019, 01:56 AM)Belloq87 Wrote: I guess I'll be the lone voice of dissent and say that I'm continuing to like this movie the more I think about!

The dumb stuff is still REALLY dumb, but the two most important things -- Rey and Kylo -- really work for me.

You have my lazursurd.

I probably rank it lowest among the OT/ST, but I still had fun, as sloppy as that movie was, enough of it worked for me.
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The most surprising thing in this movie is the amount of time Kylo Ren spends masked. I thought it would be for just one scene but he spends more than half the movie with the mask on. Maybe Adam Driver was unavailable for reshoots so they just put a mask on a stuntman?
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(12-23-2019, 02:38 AM)serpico jones Wrote: The most surprising thing in this movie is the amount of time Kylo Ren spends masked. I thought it would be for just one scene but he spends more than half the movie with the mask on. Maybe Adam Driver was unavailable for reshoots so they just put a mask on a stuntman?

They rebuilt the mask and made it look cool with the red cracks. You HAVE to show it off. I would have liked to have it on for more of the fight scenes tho.
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(12-23-2019, 01:56 AM)Belloq87 Wrote: I guess I'll be the lone voice of dissent and say that I'm continuing to like this movie the more I think about!

The dumb stuff is still REALLY dumb, but the two most important things -- Rey and Kylo -- really work for me.

I've seen it 3 times and it's like TLJ ... the good stuff gets better and the not so good stuff gets not so gooder, and, also like TLJ, it's held at a wonky 7/10 each time in terms of overall entertainment value. The highs are higher in TLJ, but TROS is more consistently engaging.

Each time Hux's "I'm the spy!" moment has been the best joke in the film and each time Poe's dramatic "Somehow Palpatine is still alive" declaration is the most unintentionally funny. 

And also each time Chewie breaking down hits the hardest in the feels.
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I love Hux's delivery of that line so much.

Finn shooting him in the leg instead of the arm was great too.
Originally Posted by ImmortanNick 

Saw Batman v Superman.
Now I know what it's like to see Nickelback in concert.

That's my review.
Reply
So according to an IGN article, JJ has confirmed that Finn's message to Rey was supposed to be his Force sensitivity. Why the last thing he would want to tell Rey before dying is that he's Force-sensitive instead of, I dunno, he loves her? Only JJ knows.

Although I do love that the first comment on that article is "... So maybe put that in the movie?"
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JJ was honouring the way Rian left the 3rd lesson out of TLJ.
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(12-23-2019, 03:25 AM)freeman Wrote: Why the last thing he would want to tell Rey before dying is that he's Force-sensitive instead of, I dunno, he loves her?

Why couldn't it have been both?

(12-23-2019, 03:25 AM)freeman Wrote: Although I do love that the first comment on that article is "... So maybe put that in the movie?"

There's no need to. There's enough contextual evidence for the Force-sensitive take and/or the love confession take. People paying attention get it.
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The third lesson Kylo taught her.

(12-23-2019, 03:38 AM)barry woodward Wrote: There's no need to. There's enough contextual evidence for the Force-sensitive take and/or the love confession take. People paying attention get it.

JJ? Is that you? JJ you suck at making films. Please stahp.
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I just saw this for a second time, and it played a million times better - simply, I think, because my brain wasn't focused on processing the inane stupidity of the Rey Palpatine twist.

Ben's turn back also makes sense to me, in a way it didn't first time round. It's been repeatedly established that he's unhappy being evil; his mother's just confirmed that she still loves him; he's literally spent sixty seconds dying from a saber in the gut, so he'll have had the clarity and regret that comes with that; and Rey's just told him that she'd go out with him if he was good.

Then, though he has no lines, everything with Ben at the end is fantastic, even if him getting knocked into the pit and coming out is literally the film's sixth fake out death.

I remember people complaining that TLJ repeatedly refers to the Resistance as the Rebellion, as if Johnson was pointedly undoing something JJ established. I do find it weird that JJ and Kasdan's creation, the First Order, is immediately forgotten about as soon as Palpatine's final plan comes into effect. One of their ships goes to Exogol - the rest, which ostensibly control much of the galaxy, simply get blown up after people rise up.

There's something nice to this - like, after Palpatine and the Empire's first defeat at Endor, their second attempt is undone far more quickly - but it's weird, in a film with so much that sidesteps TLJ, Abrams also seems to sidestep TFA.
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When JJ said "fuck it" in regards to this film, I was hoping he meant it in a "I'm going to be brave" sort of way. Not a "I don't give a fuck at all" kind of way, where the First Order just kind of... Goes away.
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Quote:Then, though he has no lines, everything with Ben at the end is fantastic, even if him getting knocked into the pit and coming out is literally the film's sixth fake out death.

SO MANY fake out deaths.

J.J. Abrams has never made a smart movie, and this might very well be his dumbsterpiece. Everything's so fucking dumb. I think my favorite part was Ben saying something like "Rey, your parents sold you into slavery in order to protect you." OHHHH okay.

This is J.J. at Maximum Stupid, a nonstop onslaught of pew-pew and MacGuffins and dopey quips-that-aren't-quips (FUN FACT: Repeating a line somebody just said is not a joke!) and each sorta-cool moment is immediately undercut by something idiotic. Here's my reaction if it had been in the movie:

Me: "This sucks."
Finn: "This sucks?!?!?!"
Poe: "THIS SUCKS!" (seven explosions, a cute robot squeals)


My wife loved it.
I was in a horror-comedy called BLACK HOLLER. It's now on Prime Video. Check it out!
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