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Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker (Disney fan fiction)(an Overlord Release Thread)
Reminder that Kylo Ren has his mask repaired by an evil monkey.
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The monkey alien was a professional. Who says he was evil? Some bullshit comic book or cereal box. A monkey has got to earn a living.
I'm not Avery.
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If the space monkey was evil then why did Kylo have the Knights of Ren stand intimidatingly over him?
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Yeah Serpico, what's your problem with space monkeys?

Speciesist. *glare*
Originally Posted by ImmortanNick 

Saw Batman v Superman.
Now I know what it's like to see Nickelback in concert.

That's my review.
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Lots of casual space racism happening right now.
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I’m glad Andy Serkis got to participate for that Planet of the Apes crossover.
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(12-27-2019, 11:19 PM)Belloq87 Wrote: 2.  As others have said, and as I've been saying for literally two years at this point, having a semi-reformed Ben Solo survive and have to wrestle with guilt while deciding to atone for his misdeeds through acts of heroism is a character resolution we haven't seen before in STAR WARS.  And, to point 1, it leaves the door wide open to explore (or not!) that character's further journey in future films or other media.

I can picture JJ Abrams waking up in a panic and rushing to his laptop to change it when he realises he nearly did something we hadn't seen before in Star Wars.
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I can't help but wonder how this movie would have been if Trevorrow had done it. imagine this story, only worse.
I was in a horror-comedy called BLACK HOLLER. It's now on Prime Video. Check it out!
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The nostalgia-push behind TFA was meticulously realised enough that they had 1976-style posters with 'Coming to your galaxy... this Christmas'. I feel like the original Abrams-Johnson-Trevorrow roster of directors was intended to recreate the critical reception of each OT film too: Abrams would deliver the fun crowd-pleaser, Johnson the dark, thoughtful one, and Trevorrow the serviceable* ending.

Like, I can imagine Kennedy thinking, 'No, we don't wanna book Bird, Favreau, or whomever for IX, he'd make too good a film'.

*I don't think ROTJ's serviceable, I think it's great - I just mean in terms of the common critical narrative of the OT.
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Favreau...good film.

Haha. Ok. I think Favreau is every bit as guilty of the empty but pretty filmmaking that JJ specializes.

The Mandalorian gets a pass because it’s 20 min each episode.
"Why did she do it?"
"Why are you the fucking Police?"

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(12-28-2019, 11:56 AM)ska oreo Wrote: Favreau...good film.

Haha. Ok.  I think Favreau is every bit as guilty of the empty but pretty filmmaking that JJ specializes.

The Mandalorian gets a pass because it’s 20 min each episode.

Empty but pretty?

So pretty much like the 1977 film.
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Pre-Mandalorian I would've been down on Favreau too, but I think his *extremely* hypothetical IX would've been a bit more straightforward.

IX seems like a weird mess born of an instinct to be both shockingly backwards-looking (when Terrio and Abrams talk about it being interesting how Rey has to make peace with the fact that she's from the most awful place, they literally seem to have forgotten that that theme was the central theme of the OT; Abrams also seems weirdly desperate to ignore the First Order whom he set up in favour of resurrecting the capital E Empire) and a tendency towards convoluted nonsense.
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(12-28-2019, 11:06 AM)rexbanner Wrote: The nostalgia-push behind TFA was meticulously realised enough that they had 1976-style posters with 'Coming to your galaxy... this Christmas'. I feel like the original Abrams-Johnson-Trevorrow roster of directors was intended to recreate the critical reception of each OT film too: Abrams would deliver the fun crowd-pleaser, Johnson the dark, thoughtful one, and Trevorrow the serviceable* ending.

Like, I can imagine Kennedy thinking, 'No, we don't wanna book Bird, Favreau, or whomever for IX, he'd make too good a film'.

*I don't think ROTJ's serviceable, I think it's great - I just mean in terms of the common critical narrative of the OT.

Didn’t Bird turn them down to do Tomorrowland?  And Favreau is hardly a sure thing, his filmography is not without misfires.
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(12-28-2019, 12:12 PM)mr. stockslivevan Wrote:
(12-28-2019, 11:56 AM)ska oreo Wrote: Favreau...good film.

Haha. Ok.  I think Favreau is every bit as guilty of the empty but pretty filmmaking that JJ specializes.

The Mandalorian gets a pass because it’s 20 min each episode.

Empty but pretty?

So pretty much like the 1977 film.

I mean, no.
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Sure it is, I just don’t see it as a bad thing. It’s pure space opera escapism.
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Favreau's script to the entire Mandalorian series is good. It has setups and payoffs, character arcs, real solid storytelling.
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Ooh, are we back to shitting on good movies as a defense strategy for bad ones?
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(12-28-2019, 02:44 PM)commodorejohn Wrote: Ooh, are we back to shitting on good movies as a defense strategy for bad ones?

Only if it’s part of your fragile childhood.
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My iconic childhood series was TOS Trek, thankyouverymuch.

Which J.J. also fucked up.
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As Bart once said: Pizza monster!
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Concerned mother pizza monster, okay?
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Horta tastes great with parmesan sprinkled on top. So I’m told.
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I dunno, man, too much acid for my delicate digestive system.
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Yeah, Star Wars '77 ain't empty: it's stuffed with ideas, and resonant enough ideas that, between it and Empire Strikes Back, they've managed to power 9 other wildly divergent films to massive box office success across four decades.

That first film, divorced from everything else that happened directly it was released, is doing tonnes of difficult things very, very right. It and The Empire Strikes Back 100% deserve their status as classics, and I'd argue deserve a lot more credit for the obvious intelligence and thought behind them from pretty much everyone involved.

If they were shallow, the umpteen bajillion things that've tried to ape it since would've had a far higher success rate.
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I wouldn’t accuse Empire of being empty, I simply view 77 being a simple adventure fairy tale with pretty basic good vs evil stuff.
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(12-28-2019, 03:36 PM)rexbanner Wrote: Yeah, Star Wars '77 ain't empty:

Even if that is one's interpretation, not all "empty but pretty" movies are created equal, and it's annoying when people act like they are, particularly to defend something as awful as Rise of Skywalker. Just because a movie looks nice doesn't mean it's well made.  There's a lot more to the aesthetics of filmmaking than production values.
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Simple, yes. Empty, no. It's minimalist in all the right ways, but has enough meat on the bones to satisfy. If you want empty fluff, look at TFA, which is essentially the same movie as constructed by an idiot: piles of exciting Moments! that exist essentially in isolation, not fitting together into a larger whole in any satisfying way, and not even being the best version of themselves they could've been. Every comparable component is a watered-down imitation, and nothing hangs together; it exists only to clinically push specific calculated buttons in the audience for long enough to get them to think they want to buy it when it comes out on Blu-Ray and maybe pick up some merch, and otherwise evaporates entirely the moment they leave the theater.
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I just can’t dismiss TFA as easily as you can, not when I have characters I actually gravitate to. I guess it really is down to how you see things. You view Kylo Ren as too petulant to be a worthy villain when I see that as a feature rather than a bug.

As for TROS, my only issues with it are purely fanboy stuff like the Knights of Ren being a big load of nothing after what we learn of them in the first two, but it doesn’t damn the whole film for me.

Then again I don’t rate ROGUE ONE all that highly and some think it’s the best thing since 1983.
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I made the mistake of listening to a review podcast of this today. TROS has this weird thing going on where the more I think about it the more the bizarre thinking behind its worse aspects stick out.


I remember going to see Star Trek Into Darkness in 2013 and thinking, phew, JJ didn't write this and the negative response to the remixing will teach him not to do that when he does Star Wars. 

TFA comes out, and while the plot recycles ANH in a way that sits awkwardly in a direct sequel to ROTJ, he manages to hold back on remaking too many scenes. Aside from that film's inane decision to do a cover version of the trench run - complete with worried looks at Rebel headquarters - the echoes are obvious, but general. 

Then, in TROS, which follows up a film that actively seemed to make sure that its sequel couldn't be a remix of ROTJ, we get: 
  • Palpatine revealing a masterplan to crush the Resistance (which was already being crushed, but aping ROTJ takes precedence over following from VIII).
  • Luke telling Rey that she has to confront Palpatine (which is the film's single most jaw-dropping bit of laziness). 
  • Luke telling Rey that he and Leia always knew about her parentage, which suggests Abrams and Terrio felt they needed to transfer the visible seams in the OT's Skywalker family plot over to the new film.
  • Palpatine telling Rey to strike him down, which is so stupid he needs to explain what he's doing as he's doing it. 
  • Palpatine's army getting vanquished in such a way that it's obvious there would be some survivors, despite the fact that this trilogy's original - now forgotten! - conflict was between the Republic and the reforged remnants of the Empire. 
  • Force ghosts looking happily on, despite the fact that the victory won is exactly the same as what they thought they'd accomplished decades before. I *liked* that TFA and TLJ put the Skywalkers through the ringer, because it's far better to do interesting dramatic stuff with characters than just have them do victory laps. But I thought Luke and Leia would get some sort of reward at the end beyond seeing Rey take their name - Ben going off to walk the galaxy, Luke's example being referred to, Luke's work on restoring the Jedi being explicitly key to Rey's victory, Palpatine's presence being more explicitly diminished from the get go (or better yet - keeping him fucking dead, or stuck in an ambiguously sentient hoogram, or confined to the ruins of the Death Star).

Oh for the days when Attack of the Clones was the Star Wars that made the least sense. The intense dislike so many people (weirdly, I maintain!) felt towards TLJ I think I feel towards this lazy clusterfuck.
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Holy shit this was terrible. WTF was JJ thinking with the nonsensical plot? He better never get a Marvel movie
AIt's just tits and dragons. - Ian McShane on Game of Thones
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Well, I'm glad that everyone who's spent the last two years convincing themselves that they wouldn't like this movie ended up not liking this movie. All that time didn't go to waste!
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(12-28-2019, 04:52 PM)rexbanner Wrote: Luke's example being referred to

On one hand, I don't like how Johnson handled Luke in THE LAST JEDI (especially his death), so part of me is extremely perversely amused to see that THE RISE OF SKYWALKER aggressively brushes aside Johnson's intentions with Luke's final stand; turns out, he actually didn't inspire the galaxy, or give them hope, or significantly increase the Resistance's ranks.  It takes Lando to do that (off-screen). Luke, basically, died to send a message that nobody (in the universe of the story) gave a damn about!  Except those stupid street urchins on Canto Bight, which was the real victory, I guess!

But on the other hand, I love Luke Skywalker.  He was, literally, one of my childhood heroes.  TROS completes this trilogy's failure of Luke as a character by undoing the character's sacrifice from TLJ, which was intended (I suppose) to be seen as uplifting... even though I personally found it utterly deflating.

Oh, well.  At least he acts like a recognizable version of the character for the five minutes he appears in TROS.
If we can dream it, then we can do it.
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(12-28-2019, 06:38 PM)Belloq87 Wrote:
(12-28-2019, 04:52 PM)rexbanner Wrote: Luke's example being referred to

On one hand, I don't like how Johnson handled Luke in THE LAST JEDI (especially his death), so part of me is extremely perversely amused to see that THE RISE OF SKYWALKER aggressively brushes aside Johnson's intentions with Luke's final stand; turns out, he actually didn't inspire the galaxy, or give them hope, or significantly increase the Resistance's ranks.  It takes Lando to do that (off-screen). Luke, basically, died to send a message that nobody (in the universe of the story) gave a damn about!  Except those stupid street urchins on Canto Bight, which was the real victory, I guess!

But on the other hand, I love Luke Skywalker.  He was, literally, one of my childhood heroes.  TROS completes this trilogy's failure of Luke as a character by undoing the character's sacrifice from TLJ, which was intended (I suppose) to be seen as uplifting... even though I personally found it utterly deflating.

Oh, well.  At least he acts like a recognizable version of the character for the five minutes he appears in TROS.

Why on Earth would even someone who hates TLJ take petty joy in this movie fucking that one up in retrospect? That doesn't help anyone or anything. It just hurts the story.
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(12-28-2019, 06:38 PM)Belloq87 Wrote: TROS completes this trilogy's failure of Luke as a character by undoing the character's sacrifice from TLJ

2018
The Russos completely undo Skurge's sacrifice, taking a massive dump all over the finale of Ragnarok.

2019
JJ Abrams: "Holdo my blue milk."

(12-28-2019, 02:44 PM)commodorejohn Wrote: Ooh, are we back to shitting on good movies as a defense strategy for bad ones?

At least TROS doesn't have a scene where someone who just saw their entire planet blown to smithereens comforts some dork who just saw an old hobo he'd known for 3 days vanish into thin air and then talk to him inside his head so he's not even really gone anyway.
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Now what you tell me Bucho is true... from a certain point of view.
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