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BOMBS WE LOVE: A Celebration of Critical and Financial Underperformers
ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE had the worst reputation for most of my life.

It didn't play on TV as much as the other Bond films, and when it finally premiered on ABC Sunday Night Movies, they did this:

"The original version edited for American Television was re-cut in several places. The film started "in medias res" with the escape from Piz Gloria, then flashing back to the beginning of the film. The entire film featured Bond's voice over (done by a different actor than Lazenby), and included a shot before the wedding in which Bond and Tracy buy her the wedding ring and Irma Bunt's reflection is seen in the window of the jeweler's. "

Coming right after Sir Sean, Lazenby really had no chance. Sean was that iconic to all our Dads' generation.

"Got concrete rhymes, been rappin' for ten years and

Even when I'm braggin', I'm bein' sincere"



"Teenage angst has paid off well/ Now I'm bored and old"


"Drunk as hell, but no throwin' up

Half way home and my pager still blowin' up"


"I'm tired of living all alone
yeah, nobody ever calls me on the phone
But when things start getting bad
I just play my music louder"





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(03-11-2020, 03:29 PM)Fat Elvis Wrote: "The original version edited for American Television was re-cut in several places. The film started "in medias res" with the escape from Piz Gloria, then flashing back to the beginning of the film. The entire film featured Bond's voice over (done by a different actor than Lazenby), and included a shot before the wedding in which Bond and Tracy buy her the wedding ring and Irma Bunt's reflection is seen in the window of the jeweler's. "

Snippets of this TV version exist online, and it's truly strange. The added voice over sounds NOTHING like Lazenby.
If we can dream it, then we can do it.
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Rather than wishing Lazenby had more Bond performances, I just wish Connery was in OHMSS
Brigadier Cousins on PSN
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Man, I haven't seen DIAMONDS in like forever. A local cinema ran double features of all the Bond movies in order a long time ago. Caught the whole series up until I think TOMORROW NEVER DIES. (THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH was just coming out.)

Okay, and this may cost me something here, but when it comes to more recent films that nobody likes, I just have to say...
...I don't dislike Tim Story's FANTASTIC FOUR (2005 and 2007) movies.
I've seen worse Marvel-based properties. (DAREDEVIL: THEATRICAL CUT, ELEKTRA, Ang Lee's HULK, BLADE III: TRINITY, FANTASTIC FOUR 2015)

While I can't say they're "Bombs I Love," I have gotten a fair share of enjoyment from them. Chris Evans didn't bug me. Chilklis didn't bug me (too much). Alba grew on me in the second one. And I really dug The Silver Surfer. That said: Gruffud and McMahon just don't work for me and the films really botched Doom and Galactus. And the screenplays don't do us a lot of favors (I like to think Mark Frost is responsible for the better stuff). But there's something about the films. A good natured enthusiasm? Jokey spirit? I dunno. The action stuff works for me too, really. And the John Ottman original scores. I'm probably insane.

I am interested, though, in a proper MCU version that gives the property a more solid treatment.
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(03-11-2020, 03:47 PM)arjen rudd Wrote: Rather than wishing Lazenby had more Bond performances, I just wish Connery was in OHMSS

It's weird that such an obvious truth became somewhat dismissed in the Bond Thread.

You put Connery in that movie, it gets elevated to coolest Action movie of the 60's.

"Got concrete rhymes, been rappin' for ten years and

Even when I'm braggin', I'm bein' sincere"



"Teenage angst has paid off well/ Now I'm bored and old"


"Drunk as hell, but no throwin' up

Half way home and my pager still blowin' up"


"I'm tired of living all alone
yeah, nobody ever calls me on the phone
But when things start getting bad
I just play my music louder"





Reply
(03-11-2020, 01:38 AM)engineer Wrote:
(03-10-2020, 08:53 PM)kyle reese 2 Wrote:
(03-10-2020, 01:56 PM)engineer Wrote: ...Newport...

Ah yeah, that one is Holiday Cinema. It's still there, and it has "deluxe recliner" chairs now.

It must be something living down there.  Ever seen the film MR. NORTH with Anthony Edwards?  REVERSAL OF FORTUNE?  IRRATIONAL MAN?  How does the town feel it's reflected in movies?  Always wondered about that.

Irrational Man was a bore, but I had fun being able to identify the locations of 3/4 of the scenes by sight. They hopped around Newport/Providence/Pawtucket stitching together bits of streets as needed, regardless of what city the characters were in.

I haven't seen those other movies, I'll give them a look.

Probably the most famous use of Newport is when Spielberg shot AMISTAD there in 1996. They dressed up the square downtown in front of the theaters/courthouse with period bits and bales of hay. The streets were already cobblestone. The courthouse itself was also used for interior scenes.
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(03-11-2020, 03:47 PM)arjen rudd Wrote: Rather than wishing Lazenby had more Bond performances, I just wish Connery was in OHMSS

I love Connery as much as the next nerd - DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER remains one of my favorites.

But you will never convince me he would have worked in OHMSS. From his dead-behind-the-eyes performance in YOLT just one film prior to his physicality up to that point, he just wouldn't have worked for Hunt's ramped-up action.

Most importantly I just don't think Connery could open himself up emotionally especially after all the women his Bond had bedded by that point.

For as much shit as Lazenby gets, you believe he loved that girl and his calmly shattered reaction to her death is devastating. It's the most important component to his performance and he nailed it. Everything else associated with playing Bond could be improved with time.

And Broccoli and Saltzman knew that. Hence why they tried to extend his contract from three films to seven before the film opened. They knew they picked the right guy. He was just too young and (with all due respect) too stupid to realize what a good thing he had going, and foolishly walked away.

Had he struck around, I'm convinced he would have played Bond into the early 80s and the franchise would still be going on today.

The real ending to Big...
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(03-10-2020, 08:53 PM)kyle reese 2 Wrote:
(03-10-2020, 01:56 PM)engineer Wrote:
(03-10-2020, 05:37 AM)kyle reese 2 Wrote:
(03-09-2020, 05:27 PM)engineer Wrote: When it was released, BARON MUNCHAUSEN was only playing in three theaters on the entire east coast.  A buddy and I drove two hours to Newport, Rhode Island to see it, and we had a great, great time.  It also introduced me to Newport, Rhode Island -  a coastal city I still love to this day.

Whoa, that's cool. I'm a Newporter. You remember which theatre? The Jane Pickens was a single screen arthouse place, the Opera House was a regular 3 screen next to it downtown.5

It was actually a small screener at the end of some strip mall on the way into town, maybe on the Middletown line on 114?  It was near some sort of fried chicken restaurant (not KFC or Popeye's, but one with jo-jo potatoes).  We overshot the cinema and ended up in Newport.  After the film, we went back into Newport and drove all around until morning.  Most everything was closed (it was still winter) but I was amazed with the whole area.  Went back as often as I could, though not nearly enough for me.  I knew parts of Cumberland, Pawtucket and Providence well, but always wanted to live in Newport.
Ah yeah, that one is Holiday Cinema. It's still there, and it has "deluxe recliner" chairs now.
I was a BV (Brenton Village/Fort Adams) kid there while my father attended the Naval War College. Spent second half of 8th and all of 9th grade there (88-89). Had my first job there. Bought my first Samantha Fox poster poster there, right off of Thames. Not a bunch of theaters, but I remember my movie-going pretty well there. I had my first opening night movie (sadly, not at either of those downtown theaters) right before I sadly moved away: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Newport is a great town.
I'm not Avery.
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Lazenby is kinda the perfect actor for OHMSS in his imperfection. So much of the film's charm is as an outlier in the Bond franchise, it feels more like an Italian Bond knockoff than a Bond film. Connery in OHMSS would feel like Clint Eastwood showing up in 100.000 dollari per Ringo, he's obviously a superior actor, but it's kinda missing the point.

You could convince me OHMSS would have been better with Terence Stamp or Oliver Reed, though...
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(03-16-2020, 12:15 PM)first class 782 Wrote: I was a BV (Brenton Village/Fort Adams) kid there while my father attended the Naval War College.  Spent second half of 8th and all of 9th grade there (88-89). Had my first job there.  Bought my first Samantha Fox poster poster there, right off of Thames.  Not a bunch of theaters, but I remember my movie-going pretty well there.  I had my first opening night movie (sadly, not at either of those downtown theaters) right before I sadly moved away: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  Newport is a great town.

Wow, Samantha Fox poster!  I had one too.  Was it this one (below)?  Lost mine to time years ago, as well as my INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE poster from my movie theater job days.

   

If this turns into a "Samantha Foxs and Newport Rhode Islands I Love" thread, I might be okay with that.

But seriously...

Another Bomb I Love:  Brian De Palma's BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES (1990).  Yes, Hanks is miscast (It should've been William Hurt) and Griffith is miscast (it should've been Kim Basinger).  But I do like Bruce Willis in it as the schlub reporter, Saul Rubinek, Kim Catrall, Morgan Freeman and Alan King.  I absolutely love the cinematography and score, the sense of locations (I was so psyched to have found a certain one just under the Queensboro Bridge) and having seen the movie right after reading Wolfe's novel, I liked the adaptation they did.  It's another film that fueled my love for New York City.



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Samantha Fox?

[Image: giphy.gif]
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Obi Wants to have some fuuuuun...
Move his saber all night lonnnnng...
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(03-16-2020, 12:40 PM)atomtastic Wrote: Lazenby is kinda the perfect actor for OHMSS in his imperfection. So much of the film's charm is as an outlier in the Bond franchise, it feels more like an Italian Bond knockoff than a Bond film. Connery in OHMSS would feel like Clint Eastwood showing up in 100.000 dollari per Ringo, he's obviously a superior actor, but it's kinda missing the point.

While I completely get what you mean by this, I don't think there are many (if any!) Italian knockoffs that look as good as OHMSS. It's such a big, sweeping, gorgeous production. Visually, I think it's right at the top of the franchise along with SKYFALL.
If we can dream it, then we can do it.
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I think it's the best Bond film, period. FRWL and TSWLM give it a solid run for the money but OHMSS still comes out on top.
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!!!

   
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Beautiful!

And the John Barry cue accompanying that scene is so good.
If we can dream it, then we can do it.
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Since a buncha you weirdos seem to like HOOK, this might be of interest:

https://nerdist.com/article/hook-movie-s...atchalong/
"Nooj's true feelings on any given subject are unknown and unknowable. He is the butterfly flapping its wings in Peking. He is chaos and destruction and you shall never see his true form." - Merriweather

My Steam ID: yizashigreyspear
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Hook is not a bomb in any sense of the word. It's a sincerely great kids movie.
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It doesn't have the conviction of P.J. Hogan's 2003 Peter Pan.
"I'd rather wake up in the middle of nowhere than in any city on Earth."--Steve McQueen
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HOOK also made over four times its budget at the box office.
If we can dream it, then we can do it.
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Meanwhile, the 2003 film made juuust over one times its budget, so that's definitely (and sadly) a bomb.
"I'd rather wake up in the middle of nowhere than in any city on Earth."--Steve McQueen
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 Serenity: I didn't watch Firefly, which is weird since I loved Buffy and Angel. However when this came out both shows where off the air and I needed some Whedon in my entertainment life. Everything about this movie works for me. I'm glad that Nathan Fillion has been a working actor on TV, but he deserves to be a movie star. 

Godzilla KOTM: Not a bomb, but an under performer. Its Ghidorah The Three Headed Monster with a touch of Destroy All Monsters with $100 million dollar budget. Its the movie I always wanted to see as a kid, but didn't think I'd ever see.

  My favorite action beat in OHMSS, Bond sliding on ice, gunning down henchman while the Bond theme plays.
I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is I've lost my way. The good news is I'm way ahead of schedule!
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(04-16-2020, 06:47 PM)Chaz Rock City Wrote: My favorite action beat in OHMSS, Bond sliding on ice, gunning down henchman while the Bond theme plays.

That's one of the great Bond "moments" for me.
If we can dream it, then we can do it.
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Always had a bit of a soft spot for Fat Man (1945) and Little Boy (1945).

Probably saved millions of lives, in the long run.

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Poor taste, the human being.  Staring Overlord.
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Battle: Los Angeles and Pandorum are two post millennium flops that I unashamedly love.
If I could change to liquid, I'd fill the cracks and bend the rocks.
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Antibodies is also good. I wish Christian Alvart had more English language movies, I also really liked Pandorum when I saw it. It wasn't exactly hard to tell where it was going, but I really liked Alvart's handling of everything.
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I can't say I love Battle: Los Angeles but I've never understood people hating it so passionately. I found it a passable alien war film.
"Nooj's true feelings on any given subject are unknown and unknowable. He is the butterfly flapping its wings in Peking. He is chaos and destruction and you shall never see his true form." - Merriweather

My Steam ID: yizashigreyspear
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Dredd is definitely my #1 pick (it's one of only a handful of movies I ever saw multiple times in theaters) and I don't know if it was a straight up bomb, but in a world where we got 4 Bourne sequels it really bums me out that Haywire didn't get more love.

As far as critical and financial bombs, MacGruber was a good pick that got mentioned and I'll throw in The Lone Ranger as a movie that, while definitely flawed, was I think victimized in part by some much-deserved Depp backlash. Also, while I didn't love it, I thought the Warcraft film was OK for what it was.
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I don't even think Depp was particularly bad in Lone Ranger. I wish a big budget fantasy "Pirates" version of a western is something the public wanted, because I would have loved to see that.
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(04-17-2020, 02:17 AM)freeman Wrote: I don't even think Depp was particularly bad in Lone Ranger. I wish a big budget fantasy "Pirates" version of a western is something the public wanted, because I would have loved to see that.

He wasn't, and I think the movie wisely points out that he isn't supposed to be representative of Native Americans as a whole but is just some fuckin' weirdo. That said, given Depp's personal issues and the fact that a lot of his performances during that period were mostly shtick I can't really blame people for being over it.
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I should give Lone Ranger a rewatch. I remember more or less enjoying it. I mean, it was no Curse of the Black Pearl like they wanted...
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THE LONE RANGER has some pretty good stuff -- the finale setpiece is one of the best of the decade -- but it also had some very weird tonal fluctuations. A guy getting his heart cut out while another guy vomits as he watches does not really belong in the same movie with Depp and horse slapstick moments.
If we can dream it, then we can do it.
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Agreed on the whole heart eating thing. That and some other Fichtner moments simply didn't fit in with the rest of what was going on.

But the movie itself is borderline great, and that third act is amazing. One of the pay channels has been showing it recently and I ended up showing my wife (who'd never seen it) the whole train sequence. She loved it and now wants to see the film itself.
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I still wish Verbinski had been able to do his supernatural spin on the story as originally planned.
"Nooj's true feelings on any given subject are unknown and unknowable. He is the butterfly flapping its wings in Peking. He is chaos and destruction and you shall never see his true form." - Merriweather

My Steam ID: yizashigreyspear
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