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Tom Cruise Scares Me
#71
Aww, he isn't that bad. He's like a Teddy Bear (with a 1000 yard stare). Tom just needs a hug...from an iron maiden.

And even if he is a completely brainwashed husk of a person, he is still entertaining.
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#72
It's alive! Thank Xenu!
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#73
Colbert did a brief but dead-on impersonation of this video during a rant about the stock market on his show the other night. Everyone's parodying this, but his was the best. Brevity is the soul of wit.
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#74
Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva
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Funny or Die makes fun of Tom

Jerry O'Connell will never work in a Tom Cruise movie again!

Awesome. I loved the laughs and the Aristocrats line.
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#75
I have a newfound respect for Jerry O'Connell. That took balls.
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#76
Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva
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Funny or Die makes fun of Tom

Jerry O'Connell will never work in a Tom Cruise movie again!

That is damn good.
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#77
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Rocco
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I have a newfound respect for Jerry O'Connell. That took balls.

Ditto. That was fantastic.
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#78
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris Myers
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That is damn good.

Jerry is now my favorite comedian.
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#79
http://youreglibmattyoureglib.ytmnd.com/
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#80
A couple years after I moved to LA (around 2001) I got an apartment with a friend on Arglye, right down the block from the Hollywood Scientology center. My friend was looking for another job, and we didn't know what Scientoology was, so we went inside thinking they might have some office work or something.

We were shown into a waiting area past the lobby. There was a man playing the piano for no apparent reason, since there really wasn't anyone else around. They came out with two applications, even though we only asked for one. Humored, I looked through the thing, which was packed full of bizarre requests. For instance, they wanted to know the names, addresses, phone numbers and other personal information about my mother, my father, my brothers and sisters, my grandmother... I thought it was a joke. We were so creeped out, we snuck away and and took off.

So yeah... I believe L. Ron Jr.
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#81
Jerry O'Connell is now forgiven for Kangaroo Jack.

Still some bad karma left from Sliders, though.
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#82
I knew all the usual suspects, but some of the names surprised me. Greta Van Susteren? The voice of Bart Simpson? William S. Burroughs (though he later denounced it)?
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#83
Ethan Suplee is now dead to me.
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#84
Ernie Reyes Jr is now more alive to me THAN EVER!
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#85
Haywood Nelson!?! Rip out my heart and feed it to me why don't you!
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#86
Charles Manson is a former Scientologist? What the hell kind of religion are you running when Charles Manson gives up on you?
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#87
Scientology.
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#88
Christopher Reeve was a former Scientologist, huh? I wonder if he gave it up before his accident. I'm not necessarily implying that the horse was rigged or anything, but...
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#89
Sonno Bono! Goddammit Hubbard you had take another classy stache away from us.

Laura Prepon?!
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#90
Quote:

Originally Posted by EdHocken
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Laura Prepon?!

I just want to be on the record as completely willing to check her Thetan levels.

I don't give a shit if she wants to put on a tinfoil hat and scream the praises of Xenu as long as I get the chance to take a swing at that 'gine.
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#91
I think I found out why some of these guys are joining up. Anne Archer, Catherine Bell, Marisol Nichols and Leah Remini are almost enough hotness to even convince me.

And they've got their marketing all wrong. Don't use Tom Cruise, use Doug E. Fresh. If he doesn't pull in today's youth nothing will.
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#92
Quote:

Originally Posted by JudgeSmails
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I think I found out why some of these guys are joining up. Anne Archer, Catherine Bell, Marisol Nichols and Leah Remini are almost enough hotness to even convince me.

Well, Mimi Rogers got a lot of the old guard to join up because she worked audits.

So yeah. Sex sells Scientology.
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#93
It gets more and more bizarre!

Quote:

"An internet group calling itself Anonymous has declared war on the Church of Scientology, in the form of an ominous posting to the YouTube site. 'In the statement, the group explained their goal as safeguarding the right to freedom of speech. "A spokesperson said that the group's goals include bringing an end to the financial exploitation of Church members and protecting the right to free speech, a right which they claim was consistently violated by the Church of Scientology in pursuit of its opponents." The press release also claimed that the Church of Scientology misused copyright and trademark law in order to remove criticism from websites including Digg and YouTube. The statement goes on to assert that the attacks from the group "will continue until the Church of Scientology reacts, at which point they will change strategy".' It should be noted that Slashdot users have had interactions with Scientology in the past as well."

The hackers have stolen several files that they are now spreading around through file-sharing networks. They posted some shit on YouTube. Click here to see some of their crap.
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#94
That's pretty hilarious.
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#95
Anon, all about the LuLz.
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#96
Now THATS a statement of intent.

God I love the world wide web sometimes.
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#97
http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...a...;plindex=0
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#98
Quote:

Originally Posted by Yomad
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I'm only 5 minutes into but, awesome. Thank you.
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#99
Wait til you get about 22 minutes in.
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What a bunch of obnoxious godless bullies.
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I am sick of this fucking cult and the dementia of anyone that is a part of it. Notice how Cruise has been trying to convert various celebrities to his psychotic crusade? The Scientology leaders know Cruise is damaged goods so who do they go after? Will Smith, arguably the biggest star on the planet in terms of box office.

It's just another attempt by these disgusting sideshow attractions to weasle their way into the wallets of more poor bastards. Let's be clear, this is a CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION that has succeeded in infiltrating the Goverment on at least one occasion, that we know of. They use mob-style tactic's against their real or imagined enemies.

My favorite part of that BBC program was when the reporter blew up in the face of that little fucking rat faced cocksucker in a controlled manner. It wasn't a complete blow out because the reporter was able to stop it on a fucking dime. I don't know why he apologized, he stood his ground and gave it to that fucking freak.
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A new release from Anon, I find this all incredibly interesting and find myself wondering where this might go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrkchXCzY70

So for they have released documents from Scientology(with Xenu mentioned with Hubbard's own handwriting, to a three hour long ceremony with celeb Scientologists in the front row, Cruise clapping the hardest).
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Miyazaki
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A new release from Anon, I find this all incredibly interesting and find myself wondering where this might go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrkchXCzY70

WOOT.com spoofs the Anon guys.

http://s3-external-1.amazonaws.com/w...127-kr0u2p.mp3
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Remember, remember the-- I mean Be very wary of the 10th of February.
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