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A Nice Hard Slap - Nick's Daily Blog
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2400/...ree-Sucks.html
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Supermarkets also hate it when you ignore the "free" item in a promotion. I do all my food shopping online to avoid having to go to the supermarkert but when I do it's normally something I need straight away and i'm in a hurry. So I really dont care it's buy one get one free on a product, I only want one of them, nor do I want the cashier to leave her post and get me the free one I "missed".
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This is why I only make love to whores.
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http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2563/...rmation-2.html
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I'll admit to being concerned about my hair, My Dad's bald and all my uncles on my mothers side are too, so I'm genetically fucked. What bugs me is the only evolutionary reason for hair loss seems to be to signal to the younger generation hey this guy's getting old now's the time to make your move and take his spot in the pack. Well fuck you I'm not close to being done yet, and my spot isn't even that great so go make your own spot, punks.

Boogers in sports, you ever see a slow motion replay of a guy spraying his snot backlit by the flood lights, It's almost magical. I don't do it during any team sports, but when hiking up a mountain, there's no one around, getting a tissue out of my bag is an ordeal, I'm wheezing for air, hell yeah I'll lean off the trail and rain down some mucus.

I'm gonna avoid commenting on the checking out minors haha, but I will say one time I had jury duty and I was checking out this chick who looked pretty hot from the back, then she adjusted her hair and revealed a huge swastika on the back of her neck, and turned around, her face ugly with tears because it was her skinhead boyfriend on trial. Yikes.

I only really notice bad asian lady driving in car parks. I notice bad Audi drivers on the road, The always have vanity plates bragging about their wealth, and the other day a guy cut into the lane in front of me without indicating, while we were going through an intersection. I drive a shit car so I'm fine with some asshole buying me a new one.

There's always a fun little charade whenever someone from high school comes into my work, they pretend not to recognise me because they've gotten themselves all hideous, I pretend not to recognise them because I'm embarrassed of my job. The silent shame is hilarious.
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My hair has been thinning from the back for some time now, but it's not to the point where I have BARE SPOT on the back of my head. I just keep it nice and short, and it's not a bother. It's just hair. My girlfriend finds it strange that it doesn't bother me, since in her family all the men still have full heads, and my Dad's bald, and so are his brothers. I don't think my hair loss is going to get any worse. About the only bad thing is that it's been thinning in the back for about 3 or 4 years, and I'm only 26.

Not a lot of Asian lady drivers here, but there are people who drive slow as shit around here. Also people zoom around you like they have an appointment, only to immediately make a turn. Like they couldn't wait a few more minutes to make that turn that was just coming up?

Great blog, Nick!
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I started to loose mine at 24 (im 33 now) so I just shaved it all off. The only downside is that I can't grow a beard without looking like a serial killer.
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In my early twenties, I looked like early Jerry Cantrell, long hair and goatee.

In my mid-twenties, I started losing my hair. I tried rocking the Devin Townsend skullet for a while, before shaving it all off. Fucking comb-overs, what are men thinking?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Ken Savage
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I started to loose mine at 24 (im 33 now) so I just shaved it all off. The only downside is that I can't grow a beard without looking like a serial killer.

That's a downside?
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Weirdly timely with the Asian driver complaint: I passed by a massive wreck, cops everywhere, an SUV in the wrong lane. Later on the news I learned some teen Asian ran into a motorcyclist, a guy in his 30s with two kids. He died a couple of days later in the hospital. The police got a subpoena (sp?) to look through her phone records. If she was texting when the crash occurred, and they think she was, she'll be charged with negligent homicide.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata
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That's a downside?

Well it was when I was 24 and single, now im married I guess not so much.
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Hair's just a fucking nuisance all round. In my early 20s I was rocking the long hair because I was rocking the grunge but it's such a pain in the ass that since about a decade ago when I switched to the self-applied #1 buzzcut my life's been 870 times more awesome. $0 on haircuts, $0 on hair products, $0 on combs and brushes, $0 on shampoos and 0.3 seconds to dry my head when I get out of the shower or the sea. Plenty of ladies like it too because there's no manlier way to wear hair than to look like a convict. If you work in a job that lets you show skull I recommend the shit out of it.
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What Bucho said. Though it's kind of funny that whenever anyone else showers at my place, they're shit out of luck for shampoo.
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And they need to bring plenty of quarters. That damn thing doesn't take dollar bills.
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I'm thinning a bit on top, but it's not something I'm concerned or worried about.

I just hate the irony of going bald while having so much back-hair.

It's like I have the worst of both worlds; losing it where I should have it and having it where it shouldn't be.

If I had to pick bald but hairless body vs. hairy head and hairy body, I'd go with bald - unfortunate, I'm going bald AND I have a very hairy body - unfair!
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http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2393/...t-Recipes.html
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http://chud.com/articles/blogs/3024/...-THAT-DID.html
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Car accidents are terrifying things, truly terrifying. I was in one back in March. I totaled my car and broke my foot, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been, all things considered. I limped away from the accident and the other car (a large van) didn't suffer any injuries at all. It's gotten easier, but I still have bad dreams about it.
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Fuckknuckles run reds around Auckland so often I always check before I launch on a green, assuming high-velocity cuntface is never far away.

I've witnessed two accidents, the first when I was 13 or 14 and on a sweeping corner a speeding pickup truck overtook the van driven by my mum and carrying myself and my three little bros. As they barrelled along the curve ahead of us coming the other way was a van, crawling along well under the speed limit. In horrific slow-motion in my mind's eye more than 20 years later I can still see the truck failing to pull back into the right lane. About 25-30 metres in front of our van I can see the truck ploughing into the other van, that van spinning 180 degrees as it's slammed backwards, the pickup skidding to a stop against a power pole. I can hear a woman screaming for a baby. I can see my mother holding a giant Samoan man in the recovery position and him stopping breathing right as the medics arrive.

As well as the big guy and the baby another member of that family died that day. The driver of the pickup, over the legal alcohol limit, was convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to jail.


Two years ago I was driving along a suburban street on the way to work one Saturday morning and I saw a sudden flash in the wing mirror in my peripheral vision and a split second later heard the crunching concussion of machines punching each other. In my rear view mirror one car was rolling slowly backward into the kerb and another finishing a flat, spinning rotation and coming to a stop.

I was on the phone to emergency services as I swung around and parked in the road with my hazard lights flashing and ran toward the closest vehicle with my truck's fire extinguisher in my other hand. Two Indian women, a mother and daughter, were inside, crying, shaken to fuck and back but responsive and without injury beyond whiplash. I turned to see the other car vacated and being pushed off the road so I stayed with the two women, just saying calming things and letting them know ambulance and cops were on the way.

By the time the cops had arrived the occupants of the car which had sped through the t-junction and plowed into the Indian ladies' car had disappeared into the hood. A man who had helped them push their car off the road told me they and the car reeked of alcohol. If they'd been a hundredth of a second later through that t-junction they would have hit the Indian lady's car square on instead of clipping the front end from the side. If they'd been a second or two sooner it would have been my truck and me taking the impact.


The roads are populated mostly by good people, smart enough to drive to the limits of their vehicles and the law, but also by imbeciles and cowards who choose to drive even though they're impaired either by chemicals or by a simple case of common stupidity which prevents them from understanding what should be the most basic and instictual laws of physics - the kind of physics a three year old riding a bike can understand.

On the plus side I don't take the people I love for granted. I've known people who've lost loved ones on the road but so far I've been lucky. And yet since the day more than two decades ago when I watched three people die I half expect that luck to run out. I learnt first hand about the fragility of the human animal and about mortality on the roads in a way I can't forget. I'm thankful for that.

And I'm thankful that on Halloween 2010 Nick and his family's luck was in and they weren't hit by the moronically arrogant imbecile who shot through the red at Azalea and Roswell.
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Nick, as a Top Gear viewer you should be already well aware of the asshole/BMW menace.

And as a survivor of an actual accident, a quite impressive vehicle/pedestrian meeting, it's always weird thinking the usual "For a couple of inches my head would have been separated from my body, by way of car tire." Thinking about it will never stop feeling weird.
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When I was 18 I was a passenger in an accident where the car got written off, but luckily no one was injured, it does shake you up pretty good. I remember everything going into slow motion, watching the cracks in the windshield creep across the glass in front of me, and loose change from the coin tray flipping through the air like they were in zero gravity, then hitting me in the face, it was all pretty surreal. The driver learned nothing from it, and is still the shittiest most reckless driver, and his rich dad got him out of any trouble.

Made me a perhaps overly cautious driver though.
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I'm glad you and your family are safe, Nick. I've had a couple near-misses like that before in my life - alone and with family. I can understand the thoughts and feelings running through your person. It certainly makes you appreciate the ones you love and the experiences you have with them even more.

My best wishes to you and yours, Nick.
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This blog really hit me hard.

First off I'm glad everyone is ok, you are a gentleman Nick and the world needs more like you.

As for the reason it hit me so hard it's because my Dad had a heart attack las Thursday so mortality and the time we have with our loved ones is really playing on my mind. He is on the mend now but it's this sort of stuff that makes you stop and think.
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http://chud.com/articles/blogs/3067/...iverse-10.html
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Short but beautiful. Great stuff.
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Nice blog Nick.

And about that near-miss car crash. Thank the maker - or whoever - that you and your family were ok. My son is 16 months old and I routinely curse the arrogant pricks - or bitches - who insist on driving down residential streets at 40+ miles an hour. The speed limit is 30. That doesn't sound like a big difference, but believe me it feels it if they are in a big 4X4. And what the fuck do they need those in West London anyway??

But I have to ask, Nick: If you were driving your daughter home from lunch why were you drinking a 'big glass of bourbon' ??
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The whole family was there, and I had a drink but one drink means nothing to me and we walked around historic Roswell for a couple of hours after lunch. I have incredible tolerance, and one glass of booze is nothing. I'm a bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to drinking and driving and would NEVER even come close to driving under the influence.
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I see, got it. Despite being quite large I'm a lightweight when it comes to booze, in fact I hate to drink more than half a pint before driving.
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Wait, people actually use "adult beverages" as an expression? In a non sarcastic way?

Huh.
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