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The List of Dumb
#36
Being a Wisconsinite, Kohl's is the department store of my childhood. All of my school clothes came from there for years and years. It took me until I was in my 20s to realize how much I hate it in that place.
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#37
DSV continues to be awesome. and I too dislike Kohl's. If Sears don't got it...it ain't worth havin'
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#38
People actively shop in Kohl's? People I know or have met?

I'm going to have nightmares now.
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#39
Quote:

Originally Posted by MissZooey
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Furthermore, is it even more wrong that every time I see "DSV," I think of SeaQuest?

If it's wrong, I don't ever want to be right.
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#40
I love that the DSV can hear onions - his powers are limit(ed)less!

Not only was the List of Dumb great, but even the talkbacks were hilarious on this one:

"Douchey McPopcollar" - nice one, Big Jim. And a gem from Kevin K. - "Is that a pajama top under that Pink Floyd T-shirt?" "No... Yes."
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#41
http://chud.com/articles/articles/13...-10/Page1.html
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#42
The whole edition should have been around Jesus Penis light switch.

I spilled my drink at that. Terrific stuff.
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#43
The light switch stuff is unadulterated greatness.
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#44
Great list this week, but as much as I hate to say it, DSV was slightly disappointing. He's still funny, and I love the little guy, but I was a bit let down by the caption. Of course, it's gonna be really difficult to top "I hear onions." That shit is gold right there. Again, though, great stuff.
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#45
Gargantuan Lightbringer?

Fucking fantastic.
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#46
Jesus license plates are the best. I have a douchebag neighbor who has "THX LORD" on his Excursion. I'm pretty sure he's not a George Lucas afficionado. He has another god plate, too, but I can't remember the exact lingo. Something to the effect of "JSUS SAV".
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#47
The lightswitch was amazing, but I got the most laughs out of the God is the Potter bit, namely

Quote:

J.E.S.U.S. is the M.U.S.C.L.E.
You Can't Spell Nintendo Power Glove without most of the letters from 'God's Love'.

I thought it was a good DSV, made me laugh.. but I read it in my mind in this cheerful British kid's voice for some reason.

Another great article Nick
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#48
You still have the Cafe Press shop up? I would totally buy a baseball jersey that says "Heaven is your Members Only Jacket" or "You Can't Spell Nintendo Power Glove without most of the letters from 'God's Love.'"
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#49
Bigpussy O'Reilly made my morning. And considering that I nearly got into a fistfight with some asshole on the bus for yelling at me, that's a big feat.

Worst thing about the entire list? That stain on the "Property of Jesus" t-shirt.
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#50
The redneck legs in the "Pray Hard" tee shirt has suprisingly tiny feet for such beefy legs. I'm just sayin' is all...

Stained Jesus shirt, and stained Jesus Penis lightswitch - I think we know who has that lightswitch in their bedroom.

And thank goodness the DSV is eating something healthy! Father takes him to McD's far too much.
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#51
Awe inspiring, Nick.

I'm curious, does DSV put onions in his salad? I mean, he can hear them, and I wonder, assuming he does put them in a salad, if they want to be there, like it's their one and only wish in this world.

I like the religious theme! Theme lists are something you should consider more often!
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#52
Quote:

Jesus's cock is a blocky maelstrom that is a thick hateness when flaccid and a mushroom cloud of cervix smashing armageddon when hard. Two kids are no match for it. Bigpussy O'Reilly, owner of the world's loosest pants bag, is no match for it. Jesus is hung all the time.

Holy Shit...that is awesome....

DSV being great goes without saying...
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#53
No lie, the house I am currently renting has that Jesuswitch in the bedroom. I have a tall dresser/armoire in front of it and never really noticed how suggestive it was until all the internet hub-bub lately (it was out of sight behind the armoire for 2 & 1/2 years). It popped up online and I thought "I had a switch like that in some house I rented". It's the one I'm in now. I'll post pics ASAP. I showed my wife and now she refuses to use it.

Since I'll probably lose much of my deposit when I move (my landlord's a cunt), I WILL be taking the switch with me.
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#54
Quote:

Originally Posted by DARKMITE8
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No lie, the house I am currently renting has that Jesuswitch in the bedroom. I have a tall dresser/armoire in front of it and never really noticed how suggestive it was until all the internet hub-bub lately (it was out of sight behind the armoire for 2 & 1/2 years). It popped up online and I thought "I had a switch like that in some house I rented". It's the one I'm in now. I'll post pics ASAP. I showed my wife and now she refuses to use it.

Since I'll probably lose much of my deposit when I move (my landlord's a cunt), I WILL be taking the switch with me.

You know... that would nice in my office. Just saying...
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#55
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata
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You know... that would nice in my office. Just saying...

How these things haven't exploded on ebay I'll never know.
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#56
I'd just like to say, Jesuswitch changed my entire perception of reality.

Thanks CHUD!
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#57
http://chud.com/articles/articles/13...-11/Page1.html
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#58
I never let the DSV eat dogfood. I fed him a Godfather on sourdough - he gets confused sometimes.
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#59
Lisa you rock the planet.
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#60
Another great list, and another great entry into the lore of that lovable little scamp, the Down Syndrome Vampire. He's adorable. I want to take him home, and put him in a shoe box under my bed, and feed him banana chips. That's what I want to do.
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#61
http://chud.com/articles/articles/14...-12/Page1.html
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#62
The DSV told me to tell you to tell talkback Mike to go suck a dick. And he doesn't even know what that means! I'm telling you - this new headgear we have for him is working miracles for every time he runs into a wall.
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#63
DSV was great as usual. But the Reba and Jewlery write ups were fucking awesome.
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#64
http://chud.com/articles/articles/14...-13/Page1.html
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#65
MPANTS. What the hell? And I love that "tooth's" has an apostrophe in it. I don't know if it was a typo or intentional, but it made me laugh.
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#66
Heart M Pants? I can't figure this one out and it hurts.
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#67
100% intentional, Jer.
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#68
No, actually, the DSV's tooth's are MPASTED.
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#69
I'm just asking for a friend, but cheeseburger flavored egg rolls are widely available? It's not just a Georgia thing?

Finally got the Schwan's link to load. I would have to talk to a broker to find cheeseburger flavored egg rolls...for a friend.
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#70
That crawlspace billboard is pretty lame, but not as bad as the one between Green Bay and Appleton that is advertising the Poop Patrol, a business dedicated to coming to your house and cleaning up your dog's turds.

Also, what are the DSV's teeth pasted WITH, and do I really want to know?
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