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The Official Funny, Violent, or Bizarre News Story Thread
#1
Missing Feet! Beheadings! Tumor-faced freaks! Japanese culture! Post all of your favorite bizarre news stories here. Two rules:

1) No "how can you laugh at this?" bullshit whining. This is not a thread for the squeamish. We cope with our cruel and dangerous world through humor.

2) Please try to be as funny as possible.

Starting this off:

Brute punches playful London girl during Facebook-inspired waterfight

In comic panel form:

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#2
Someone sticky this stat!
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#3
Eileen's already on it!
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#4
"Girlwhack!"

Granted, she didn't squirt him with water, but period blood.
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#5
So that's what happened to that girl from Superbad.
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#6
You can see Meteor Man in the back coming to the rescue.
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#7
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tati
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You can see Meteor Man in the back coming to the rescue.

Hey man. That's racist.


Funny though.
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#8
My favorite part of the article:
"Gangs of youths then ran amok, threatening the public, flashing knives and causing riding school children as young as five to be thrown from their horses."
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#9
We here at facebook believe men and women have an equal right to get whacked in the face for doing annoying shit.

Also, that guy's about to get his girlwhacking ass boywhacked.
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#10
Where are the after pix? The group behind the boy does not look amused. I like to think they followed him onto a double decker bus, and went Louis XIV on him.
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#11
Quote:

Originally Posted by BillyG
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Where are the after pix? The group behind the boy does not look amused. I like to think they followed him onto a double decker bus, and went Louis XIV on him.

So it takes a group of Englishmen to do what one Canadian can? Wussies...
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#12
Missing foot? Found one!

Foot found washed up on shore
AP POSTED: July 31, 2008

ROGERS CITY (AP) — Police are investigating the discovery of a decomposed foot on a Lake Huron beach in Presque Isle County.

A resident called the sheriff’s department Monday after finding the foot, encased in a sock and sandal, at the outlet of a small creek near the Hammond Bay fishery research facility.

An examination performed by an anthropological forensics expert determined the foot belonged to a man 35 years or older.

Should this go on Craigslist?
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#13
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Kelly
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So it takes a group of Englishmen to do what one Canadian can? Wussies...

Canucks carry giant fucking Bowie knives. The Englishmen will be using tea cups.
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#14
This aussie begs to differ:

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#15
I'm offended at the misogyny in this thread.
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#16
Quote:

Originally Posted by BillyG
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Canucks carry giant fucking Bowie knives. The Englishmen will be using tea cups.

Hey man, don't knock the tea cups. Those can be fucking deadly. Just ask this guy:

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#17
Quote:

Originally Posted by Minsky
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1) No "how can you laugh at this?" bullshit whining. This is not a thread for the squeamish. We cope with our cruel and dangerous world through humor.

Nicely done! Rules stated, thread stickied. Good on ya.
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#18
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Kelly
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... the foot, encased in a sock and sandal, ...

I told the motherfucker socks and sandals don't work, but he wouldn't take them off.
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#19
Quote:

Originally Posted by Minsky
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Did you make this? It's excellent.
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#20
I did!
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#21
Nice work Minsky
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#22
Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaNY
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Nicely done! Rules stated, thread stickied. Good on ya.


Shit, son, It's LisaNY!!!

Ruuunnnnn!!!!!!!!
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#23
Awwww, no one dares run at the prsence of Hocken.

*Walkes away to the tune of that song that's played at the end of each Hulk episode*
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#24
That comic is way more funny if you read it British.
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#25
Quote:

Originally Posted by Schwartz
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Shit, son, It's LisaNY!!!

Ruuunnnnn!!!!!!!!

(*Hurls birthday cake at Schwartz - nails him in the back of the noggin*)

GOTCHA!!

(And did you see? I changed my user title in honor of your post in the decapitation thread! Ha!)
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#26
It's perfect.
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#27
Now to add a new story to the thread

"Rat People" forced to beg
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#28
Quote:

Originally Posted by EdHocken
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Now to add a new story to the thread

"Rat People" forced to beg

It's the cult of zippy the pinhead!

Seriously though, the whole belief system there sounds like something from Forgotten Realms [/nerd]

ETA: Lisa, that custom username is 100% gold
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#29
Quote:

Originally Posted by C.Swicegood
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It's the cult of zippy the pinhead!

That girl's only 25 years old? She really needs to hit the Estee Lauder counter in a big way. Y'know - rat face aside and all.
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#30


First thing to come to mind.
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#31
Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaNY
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That girl's only 25 years old? She really needs to hit the Estee Lauder counter in a big way. Y'know - rat face aside and all.

What, bad enough she's got a rat face and small head, you want her to spend what little money she has on make-up that may or may not work on her?

Hell, this'll do the job, and is pretty much free:



Oh, and can I have my birthday cake without fear? I'm trying to cut down. Too many calories. Trying to get back into shape, y'know. kthxbai.
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#32
Oh, come on, the fear helps you burn the cake off. You'll thank me later.
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#33
Why so serious?
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#34
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brendan
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"You don't like bears? OMG! I don't like pigs! We should totally hook-up!"
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#35
Should've let Yogi have that pic-a-nic basket.

I love how matter-of fact she is in that video:
"My first sensation was 'Oh, a little tiny bear! But, what a bully!' "
"... and I went 'there goes my eye!' "

as opposed to any of us who'd be going "AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! MOTHER OF GOD!!!!! AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! WHY?!?! IT'S CHEWING MY BRAIN!!!!! EEEEEEEEYYYYYYAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
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