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The Official Funny, Violent, or Bizarre News Story Thread
#36
Quote:

Originally Posted by Timothy225
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I love how matter-of fact she is in that video:
"My first sensation was 'Oh, a little tiny bear! But, what a bully!' "
"... and I went 'there goes my eye!' "

That lady's awesome. I wanna hang out with her. "This is my friend, the bitten up ducky lady. Tell 'em about your bear attack, bud."

"Oh, okay, well the bear took my entire head it it's mouth, and all I heard was 'NOM NOM NOM!' "
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#37
This kills comic book theory that horrible scarring leads to a life of super villainy.

Nolan should have made a movie with Two-Face just calmly explaining how he got so deformed.
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#38
The CNN headline is "Bear maul victim: 'There goes my eye'". God, I wish I could get that on one of their t-shirts.
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#39
Quote:

Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica
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This kills comic book theory that horrible scarring leads to a life of super villainy.

She plays nice to lure her victims in.
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#40
Man dials 911 after not getting sauce on subway sammich

And yes, this did come from Florida.
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#41
Quote:

Originally Posted by EdHocken
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Man dials 911 after not getting sauce on subway sammich

And yes, this did come from Florida.

That happens all the time in this state. People use 911 as their therapist instead of an emergency service.
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#42
Quote:

Originally Posted by EdHocken
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Man dials 911 after not getting sauce on subway sammich

And yes, this did come from Florida.

That Patrick Ripoll is crazy!
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#43
Zing
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#44
Beheadings are all the rage right now.

Greek Man Shows Off Girlfriend's Head

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/...n4317818.shtml

I may have to get in on the act while it's HAWT.
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#45
Nah, Electric, by the time you do it, it'll be so passe and you'll just look like a wannabe poser.
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#46
Quote:

Originally Posted by EdHocken
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Man dials 911 after not getting sauce on subway sammich

And yes, this did come from Florida.

I saw this during my warm-up on the treadmill. The girl next to me was wondering why I was snickering during my run.
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#47
Quote:

Originally Posted by Electrichead
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Beheadings are all the rage right now.

Greek Man Shows Off Girlfriend's Head

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/...n4317818.shtml

I may have to get in on the act while it's HAWT.

This guy was seriously determined to have the best day of his life.
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#48
Man strangles wife - sentenced to one year pub ban.

Oh those Scotts....
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#49
Hey, to a scotsman. That's like ten years in a Maximum Security prison.
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#50
Quote:

Edward Flaherty, 74, who is suffering from dementia, was convicted of strangling 69-year-old Ina Flaherty with a tie after she refused to give him money to go drinking.

There is so much win in this sentence.
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#51
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Strange
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This guy was seriously determined to have the best day of his life.

GTA: Greece

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jacob Singer
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Quote:

Edward Flaherty, 74, who is suffering from dementia, was convicted of strangling 69-year-old Ina Flaherty with a tie after she refused to give him money to go drinking.

There is so much win in this sentence.

Local constabulary released a sketch of the accused

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#52
Man tortures 400 cows, has sex with them

Granted, it's in The Sun, but still.....
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#53
Beef, it's what's for dinner indeed.
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#54
They were asking for it. You can't go around showing your teats like that and not expect something to happen.
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#55
Woman sells house to clone pet

Now I love my babies but this is just too much.
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#56
Quote:

Originally Posted by Eileen
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Woman sells house to clone pet

Now I love my babies but this is just too much.

Stuff like this, and people like her, make me long for the complete and total destruction of all human life on this planet.

Shit like this wouldn't go down if squirrels were in charge. Just sayin'.
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#57
Quote:

Originally Posted by Timothy225
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Shit like this wouldn't go down if squirrels were in charge. Just sayin'.

No, instead the headline would be "Chip sales house to clone Dale."
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#58
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill Brasky
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Man tortures 400 cows, has sex with them

Granted, it's in The Sun, but still.....

This is turning into my favorite thread ever.
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#59
"These are God's children. We are proud to look after her," said Ijaz Hussain, the shrine's government-employed custodian, as Nadia shrieked unintelligibly and put coins in a battered wooden box at her side.


Love this.....
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#60
Man Dubs Lake Tahoe Creature Caught on Camera 'Leprechaun-Alien'

Picture.

Could it be the return of this guy?
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#61
A little elaborate for a shitty Leprechaun 4 joke.
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#62
Quote:

Originally Posted by Eileen
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Woman sells house to clone pet

Now I love my babies but this is just too much.

Re-Pet better come down in price, before my identity gets stolen.
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#63
Quote:

Originally Posted by DARKMITE8
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Damnit - why, WHY, in this day of camera phones and hi-tech goodness can't anyone get ONE CLEAR PICTURE of some weird critter or UFO?
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#64
Quote:

Originally Posted by Timothy225
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Damnit - why, WHY, in this day of camera phones and hi-tech goodness can't anyone get ONE CLEAR PICTURE of some weird critter or UFO?

Because when they do, you can tell that it's a fairly normal critter or identifiable object.

Sorry to rain on your parade, Tim, but the rampant silliness in that paranormal thread has my common sense flaring up.
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#65
Quote:

Originally Posted by Timothy225
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Damnit - why, WHY, in this day of camera phones and hi-tech goodness can't anyone get ONE CLEAR PICTURE of some weird critter or UFO?

Well, as Mitch Hedberg (RIP) hypothesized, maybe Bigfoot is blurry. That's scary.
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#66
Quote:

Originally Posted by DARKMITE8
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Well, as Mitch Hedberg (RIP) hypothesized, maybe Bigfoot is blurry. That's scary.

Schwartz, I loves ya and agrees with you to an extent, but I gotta go with Darkmite for the win.
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#67
I'd rather go up against 10 vicious, out-of-focus terrors that roam the countryside than the memory of the good Mr. Hedburg. Defeat conceded.
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#68
Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Jailed

And it's automatically a hilarious day.

To be fair, the closest open supermarket is in Windsor. Also, there were a handful of prostitute corpses he had to deal with.
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#69
God I love Kwame Kilpatrick. Endless hilarity.
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#70
Quote:

Originally Posted by Minsky
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Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Jailed

And it's automatically a hilarious day.

He's not the only mayor having a bad day.
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