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Fine-Toothed Coombs: A Blog
For your faithfulness, dear Bucho, you are now awarded the position of Treasurer in my fan club. Considering there are absolutely zero finances to go over, it's a really cushy position. Congrats.
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God speed sir. If I may, could you include screen grabs of Eugene Levy's face as his self esteem slowly seeps away*.

Also can I be security? You and Bucho will need protection from all the ladies throwing themselves at you.

*For the record, I like Levy.
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The job is yours, Sir Pants.

And I'd like to think we all appreciate Eugene Levy, but he's milked this franchise for all it's worth from the looks of it.
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I'm awesome at treasuring. Got my badge from scouts and everything. All we need to do now is find out where that galleon sunk and we're away laughing.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Coombs
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Also, in regards to my burgeoning fan club, we need to fill some positions. President, Sergeant-at-Arms, etc.

Commandant Bear requesting permission to report for duty, sir.

If permitted, I promise to govern the European Chapter of Fine-Toothed Coombs' (The Blog of Champions™Wink Fanclub. Duties include screening new members for love of Ben Foster karate incidents and Diora Baird.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Coombs
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A taste of the near future, gentleman. Do any ladies read this thing?

Having seen a brief portion of the series' latter-day DVD premieres, I'm very excited to hear your thoughts.
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I believe I said Tuesday, but I'm gonna shift back to Thursday for my official blogging day. The reason? Not only am I doing the Pie series, but he Miyazaki films that I mentioned in the same blog post. Let it be known that Coombs is for both brows, high and low.

But let's keep track of the fan club, my loyal fans.

Commandant Bear is your leader. Next to mine, his word is law.
Mr. Pants is our security chief, cross him at your own risk.
Bucho keeps track of our finances. Whatever they may be.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Coombs
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But let's keep track of the fan club, my loyal fans.

Commandant Bear is your leader. Next to mine, his word is law.
Mr. Pants is our security chief, cross him at your own risk.
Bucho keeps track of our finances. Whatever they may be.

No-one would dare oppose us!

Thank you for the appointment, gracious blogger. I won't let my stewardship become like one of those Premiership referees who's more interested in handing down orders than fairly governing proceedings. All are welcome here... behaviour permitting, of course.
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Commandant Bear to Treasurer Bucho!

Commandant Bear to Treasurer Bucho! Do you read me?


We've intercepted no blog-based transmissions from Mr. Coombs in well over a month now. I don't know about you, but I'm well overdue for a dose of Coombs-brand jocularity™.

I propose we schedule a fanclub meeting to discuss a resuce mission. How's your Tuesday lookin'?
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I'll bring the grappling hooks and night vision goggles. And the Under Seige soundtrack.
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No stone, nor copy of an American Pie DVD premiere sequel shall be left unturned...
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Guys if it's any help I just discovered some contraband weaponry in my sock drawer, seriously there is enough firepower here to invade London. As Chief of Security I'd like to get in on this rescue mission.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike's Pants
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Guys if it's any help I just discovered some contraband weaponry in my sock drawer, seriously there is enough firepower here to invade London. As Chief of Security I'd like to get in on this rescue mission.

I didn't know you were available, my good man! Of course, I want you aboard. Our Chief of Security needn't ask for permission, especially not when he's bearing gifts...

Those Ethnic Internet Terrorists are gonna rue the day they interfered with this blog!
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..see you next wednesday...

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Coombs View Post

..see you next wednesday...



YES!

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Glad to see you're still excited for fresh Coombs, Bobby! I apologize for the lack of blogs in the previous months, but I've been working through some personal issues. You might have been expecting a blog today, but I have yet to work my way through the new Chud and need to send a few emails/take a few looks around to get my bearings.

Just know that I've decided to let slide the review/critical bent that I tried to take over before. I think my strengths lie in more fictional work. That said, expect more fictional encounters with celebrities and the like. Who knows where we'll go? Your feedback is always appreciated, of course.

I really thank you guys for your patience with me, and I hope I can bring you some entertainment in 2011. The first entry will be up as soon as possible.

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Absolutely, mate! Thanks... it's nice of you to say, but no apology's necessary. Sorry to hear about the reason behind the quiet spell. Hope everything's sorted now and you had a good Christmas/Holiday Season and New Year!

Any Fine-Toothed Coombs is welcome in my book, be it fictional or otherwise. Good luck getting sorted with the admin stuff. It's great to have you back.

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By "next Wednesay," I obviously meant "two Thursdays from now," but that's not nearly as Landis-y.

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Good stuff man, glad to have you back.

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What Ken said.

"B-Zabs" - delightful.

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It's my party and I'll blog if I want to.

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"One of the movies they recently broadcast was Young Guns, the Emilio Estevez ode to shooting people whilst being an Estevez."

Magic.

If it sincerely was your birthday when this was posted, happy belated, sir!

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Fassbender and Hardy should be Dirty Steve and Charlie. They should be in every film. Speaking of which, should James Franco, who is in every film, play Billy? The hardest shoes to fill for me are actually Doc's. Ive never been the hugest Keifer fan but he's so, sooo Josiah "Doc" Scurlock it's not even funny.

Unlike your writing Mr Coombs, which is always delighting a grin onto my mug. Keep em' comin'.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby Bear View Post

"One of the movies they recently broadcast was Young Guns, the Emilio Estevez ode to shooting people whilst being an Estevez."

Magic.

If it sincerely was your birthday when this was posted, happy belated, sir!



It was indeed my birthday! I celebrated alone at home, because Texas was, at the time, coated with a thin layer of ice. While that might not seem so bad, I've found it causes Texans to essentially go (more) insane. Not wanting to have my car slammed into on the roads by frozen crazies (and not having a single friend man enough to fight the cold and hang out), I opted to celebrate by staying home and praising Emilio.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Bucho View Post

Fassbender and Hardy should be Dirty Steve and Charlie. They should be in every film. Speaking of which, should James Franco, who is in every film, play Billy? The hardest shoes to fill for me are actually Doc's. Ive never been the hugest Keifer fan but he's so, sooo Josiah "Doc" Scurlock it's not even funny.

Unlike your writing Mr Coombs, which is always delighting a grin onto my mug. Keep em' comin'.


I could see Franco doing a crazy-fun Billy. And given Franco's proclivities these days, I imagine he'd prepare for the role by spending a few months as a reenactor at some wild west show. That said, I've decided the ultimate modern-day Young Guns would be a shot-for-shot, word-for-word remake starring the original cast. Even Palance. We'll just get the Chiodo Brothers to rig up his corpse and ADR his lines from the original. The only change will be that we alternate Siemaszkos every other scene, throwing in Nina instead of Casey every now and then. Just to throw people off. Because ART!

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Soundtrack by Kool & the Gang

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Coombs View Post

It was indeed my birthday! I celebrated alone at home, because Texas was, at the time, coated with a thin layer of ice. While that might not seem so bad, I've found it causes Texans to essentially go (more) insane. Not wanting to have my car slammed into on the roads by frozen crazies (and not having a single friend man enough to fight the cold and hang out), I opted to celebrate by staying home and praising Emilio.


That's weird. I thought it was just in the British Isles that snow and/ or ice made people freak out, regardless of severity. Hope you enjoyed your day, nonetheless. It certainly sounds like you did.

As for all this Young Guns remake business, I stand behind any casting decision that puts Alan Ruck on the silver screen in a potential sequel.

It would be remiss of me to let a blog featuring Steve Zahn go by without mentioning how much time I have for him in Reality Bites. And That Thing You Do! Under-rated little flick that.

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Let us drunken ramble like the Kings of our age. Read this bitch. Be prepared for next week

s discussion. i don't care how you do it. Go, Omri Katz! Have those adventures in Dinosaur

City.

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Ah, that is some old school, plastered Fine-Toothed Coombs. Must say, I'm a bit proud of myself there. Pretty sure that's my first drunk blog of the year. Hope my super in-depth movie reviews were enlightening!

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LIKE!

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The latest blog has 2 wonderful quotes... back-to-back!

"There was some great death, and that’s all I ask for in movies. You’ve never seen someone’s hair caught in something until you’ve seen Sanctum, I’ll tell you what."

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Blog Post # Howevermany

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  1. "It’s got all the excitement of Shaq Fu, but at least three times the amount of food magically raining down from the skies."
  2. "Steel also featured Judd Nelson and Annabeth Gish, which pretty much says it all."
  3. "Because no matter what comes in life, when all else fails: Good Burger."

Fantastic blog as always, sir. I wasn't expecting a new entry so soon: bonus!

The Screaming Mmmbops isn't a bad band name. Not a bad band name at all.

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Was I supposed to be overcome with the urge to watch those Shaqbulous films? Cause that's what happened to me Coombs.

You did this.

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Once more...with feeling.

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My Favourite Bad Movie

A Fine-Toothed Coombs Class Essay by Bobby Bear

Stuart (Re-Animator, From Beyond) Gordon's 1990 feature Robot Jox ticks every B-movie box. It has an incredibly high concept - a future where nations settle squabbles with battling mech warriors - that's well beyond its budget. It has tremendously clunky dialogue ("break 'im in 'alf, Commander!") It has one of the best-worst performances of all time in Paul Koslo's demented Russian thug Alexander. And it has spectacularly craggy special effects that require the viewer's imagination to make them as cool as the concept deserves. It's the kind of film that features Jeffrey Combs as a gambling-addicted futurist transient. A reference on the under-rated British sitcom The IT Crowd a few years ago even secured its "cool" credentials; Roy once wore a t-shirt with "we can both live", a quote from the film, and a picture of Achilles' robot on it.

If you aren't already planning to view this slice of cinematic wonderment, did I mention it's an Orion Pictures release?

...

Now that that's settled, let me get right to the point. I know Robot Jox is no Alien. It's cheap as chips, very much the worse for wear since its debut 21 years ago, and pretty thin on the ground even at a lean 85 minutes. Average Joe probably hides the film in a secret drawer, far from his copies of Scarface and The Godfather. Average Joe would blush as though it was a porno mag, if said film was discovered by his significant other. Average Joe is wrong, though... as is anyone else unwilling to defend a film with the tagline: "The ultimate killing machine. Part Man. Part Metal." Somewhere, deep down, Average Joe remembers the inherent coolness that attracted him to it in the first place, an appeal that remains undiminished despite massive SFX progress.

The Internet would have us believe this film ranks somewhere between Troll 2 and a hallucinogenic-induced nightmare in the cinematic pantheon. I put it to you that Robot Jox is, in fact, a misunderstood and cruelly maligned meditation on destiny, sporting integrity, and the perils of allowing children to spectate on mecha smackdown. With cracking stop motion.

--

Choice blog quotes:

"Pork assault" and "non the sequitur."

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Hey, I have a close friend who loves Robot Jox just as much as you do, Sir Bear. He even had Stuart Gordon sign his dvd copy. It's been awhile since I've seen the film, personally, but between the two of you, I'll track down a copy and give it another look as soon as possible.

In the meantime, I know you've been suffering from a lack of Fine-Toothed Coombs. My solution? Watch this video. The Coombs in question there is, in fact, me. True story, my friends and I formed a random-ass band (one of many I've been in for better or worse) which eventually led to my sister making an extremely half-assed movie about us to show at my former high school. Trust me when I say half the things we did for this movie aren't even remotely shown here. There was a lot more alcoholism and death. While I'm not the world's best editor, they did give me all the raw material of the shoot which I crafted into a superior version one day, and if I ever find the dvd I produced, I'll show it to you. But for now, here is my sister's version of my band's story. The sound mixing is terrible, I warn (which incidentally was my forte in film school).

And for posterity, here is our Purevolume page, complete with a few of our songs from our second album. Aka, the second time I sang through a didgeridoo whilst watching ABC Family. And "Pierre," our original hit single. Aside from that one, I'm lead vocals on all. Enjoy.

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