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Depression
^ What he said.
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(10-01-2019, 12:07 PM)boone daniels Wrote: I've alluded to this before, but this month (October) is both my mom's birthday and the 30th anniversary of her death. I've kind of been dreading it all year. I feel like I've been trying to be more positive and upbeat around here and not quite an asshole, but if I'm a little tetchy or short with folks this month, that's part of the reason why. However, I'm going to do my best to just remove myself from any conflict before I feel myself getting too overheated.

[delurking in the depression thread again]

The seventh anniversary of my Mom's death is approaching. It's actually in February, but it was a week before Christmas when we got "the news," so I associate it more with that time of year.  

Meanwhile, I continue to struggle with bipolar and the truckload of misery that comes with that. Recently, I started Lamictal. When it kicked in, I felt amazing- best I've felt in years. It was almost like mania minus all the negatives. Of course, it didn't last. I'll get a dosage bump when I see my doctor, but I don't know if that will help. It's like getting a winning lottery ticket and being told it's a misprint. 

I lost two of my cats to cancer within two weeks. Loved them more than most of my blood relatives. 

One of my chief coping mechanisms was my elliptical machine. When it died, I went for a more "advanced" model. It was DOA, and it has been a non-stop struggle with Sole for two and a half years to get a working machine. It's my White Whale. The best part was when they sent the same guy out seven times, without even coming close to fixing it. His behavior became so bizarre that I very nearly called 911. 

And just this morning, I was out for a walk and felt a very uncomfortable throb in the lower right of my back. I'd been having to make a lot of late-night bathroom trips lately, so now I'm worried about what that means.
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