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SCHWARTZBLOG: The Very Worst Named Blog

Just trust your instincts. AND your sense of humor. Your playful side is well-served by your cogent observations.

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These are all gold. I agree with Jacob.

The Red Wedding write-up went all out with the pictures, which I guess people like, but I've enjoyed every one of these you've done. (please do Breaking Bad again when it returns!)

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Breaking Bad is in the cards.  And the pictures will remain.  The only argument against them (or generally trying to pack in more humor, which is a lot harder than recapping plot events) is that they are more time consuming, but I can't get anything coherent out for a Sunday night show until after work Monday anyway.  Figure that's already far enough behind the internet-review curve that it doesn't much matter if it posts at 7 pm or 9 pm.

Thanks, gents.  Feedback is always appreciated, positive variety all the more so.

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AI agree with Nexus agreeing with Jacob. You're fucking great at this and it's enhanced my experience of the show to read your responses to it.



[quote name="Schwartz" url="/community/t/142160/schwartzblog-the-very-worst-named-blog/50#post_3523386"]Game Of Thrones - "The Rains Of Castamere"It ain't pretty.

... this episode, man, was a rare case where the abuse of fictional characters felt tantamount to actual sadism ...

... Most of the people I talked to seemed convinced that Robb was going to meet a bad end soon (to the point where my pathological parts started to wonder if some of the ostensibly unspoiled ones didn’t know more than they were letting on ...

... When a new character pops up a couple years in to the show’s run, we don’t know whether they will be dead by the end of the episode like the Titan’s Bastard, or stick around for a multi-year arc like Ygritte, because the show does not treat one as more immediately disposable than the other ...

... I was genuinely left feeling like these characters’ creator somehow despised them ...

... Is it next week yet? That’s…okay, actually. I could use a little break right now.[/quote]

These lines in particular hit the nails on the heads perfectly for me. I've said in the GoT thread that Theon's storyline has devolved more or less into torture porn and also that The Rains of Castamere brought me back to what critics of Innaritu have said, particularly after Babel, along the lines that it felt like he created certain characters just to make them suffer. This ep was such a relentless bummer I did exactly what your last line suggested and took a little break, only at long last watching the finale yesterday. There's a lingering sense of this being a world George RR has created less because he has a story to tell and more because he wants something to play God with.

Thing is, on one hand it's not always a world I want to visit - as someone who uses TV shows mostly as an escape from what I get out of the news on Syria or Afghanistan or Ariel Castro's house, it can be genuinely, actually, literally repulsive at times. On the other hand, the points you made on George RR's storytelling style in terms of how he's able to keep the true unsullied guessing are so on the money you should win some awards or something. So many of the performances are fantastic too. It's thrilling to experience world-building of such ambition and near-mastery. Of course it could be better but it's still easily good enough to keep me paying that price.

Your write-up on Ep 10 was perfect too, especially your re-arrangement idea which I will henceforth steal and pretend I thought it up myself.
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Orange Is The New Black Is The New Great

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Breaking Bad - "Blood Money"

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What, you got a life or sumpin? Can't churn out a considered, thoughtful review ten hours after an episode has aired? What is this, Palookaville?

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Just getting dumber and slower as I age.

Breaking Bad - "Buried"

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I know we fawned all over you in the official thread, but get ready for a little more.

You deserve to be on the national stage with these reviews. They really are the best Breaking Bad critiques out there.

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You're surprisingly quiet in the main thread, Singer.  I know you got thoughts to share.  When do you think we'll get the first, "---, bitch!" of the season?

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Since you didn't ask me, I'll add my thought: I think they'll delay Jesse saying that until the end of the season. Maybe it's the last thing he says? As much as people know Jesse for saying that, it seems like it'll return during a climactic moment, which I really hope isn't Jesse's death.

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In a recent interview he said he's got the best 'bitch' line of the series coming up. Looking forward to it.

I like reading the main thread more than participating in it. People's theories and predictions are just insane. One of the main reasons I like your reviews is that you don't over-read the series, you seem to take it as it's given, with just the right amount of insight that I think it deserves. Really clear-headed and insightful at the same time. It's the kind of critique I wish I was capable of, and most of all, it helps me appreciate the show even more.

Sorry for all the ass-kissing, now back to my general snark.

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Breaking Bad - "Confessions"  (bitch!)

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Breaking Bad - "Rabid Dog"

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Breaking Bad - "Tohajiilee"

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Breaking Bad - "Ozymandias"

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Breaking Bad - "Granite State"

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Breaking Bad - "Felina"

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Better late than never - favorite films of 2013

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Nice to see a slightly different list to the copycat ones which have appeared all over the place, and I admire you for putting Thor 2 in there. I had a great time with it on the big screen also.

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AWhat is it you do again Schwartz? Because if you're not a professional writer, and being this good at words is just a hobby, you must be an ace at something else.
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My civilian identity is an unassuming, low paid lawyer.



I put Thor 2 on there because I REMEMBER FUN???!!!, basically.

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Good stuff, as always. Really looking forward to seeing Inside Llewyn Davis and Her especially.

" I never liked Harmony Korine, finding his films to be grossly unpleasant, self-indulgent messes to be endured rather than enjoyed." This is what has kept me away from Spring Breakers, despite most every critic I read saying it's something else. The Mann/Malick thing has me baffled, but more intrigued than anything else I've read about the film. May journey out to a Redbox and grab it today, if I can stop sneezing.

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Spring Breakers is something else, man.   If you put an ethereal Malick voiceover on top of a trashy exploitation movie, you might get somewhere in the ballpark of what to expect, but it's actually even stranger than that.  Franco's performance is beamed in from another planet, and yet he fits the world of the film perfectly.



I can't say for certain that you'll like it, but I can tell you that it will be unlike any other movie that came out this year, or any of Korrine's prior work.

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My view on Korine and Spring Breakers is pretty much identical to yours, Schwartz. I detest his previous work, and I LOVE that movie.

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That's because you're one of the good ones, Mangy.  Not like that Bucho....the hell is his problem anyway?

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AYou ask that as if the answer is singular.
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You better never set foot in America's heartland, Bucho.  I will buy you drinks until your children's livers spontaneously collapse.

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I was praising Schwartz's writing before it was cool. You're all just posers.

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That's right.  Singer is my oldest booster.



(sorry, really)

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AI'm not just a poser Jacob, I'm also a scallywag and a rapscallion. But don't tell Schwartz until I collect on those drinks.
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True Detective - "The Long Bright Dark"

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The Sopranos, Season 1

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True Detective - "Seeing Things"

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For me, this show has almost been a tone poem, hallucinogenic and dreamlike but also brutal and surprising. I will say, though, that as much as I love the (amazing) character work going on, I'd like a little more movement on the actual case. I like detective work in my detective stories.



At any rate, sheesh, Schwartz, always a pleasure to read. Stop it already.

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