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Things that make you laugh catch-all.
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[Image: 32105530_10154821557819364_4152067579373...e=5B912C75]
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UK rejected petitions

   
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Brian Blessed continuing to be awesome in his 80s

   
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https://www.mediaite.com/online/grocery-...mma-laude/

Quote:A proud — and now angry — mother took to Facebook on Sunday to voice her grievances after a grocery store censored her son’s graduation cake, as the lewd, American English meaning for the word “cum” apparently interfered with her son’s celebration of finishing high school with summa cum laude honors.

“I ordered Jacob’s graduation cake from Publix. A $70 cake!! He earned a 4.79 GPA,” wrote Cara Koscinski on Facebook, the upset mom in question. “Publix refused to write the words Summa Cum Laude because I was using ‘profanity!’ They put three dashes instead of the word!”

   
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https://www.polygon.com/2018/5/22/173803...ck-library

Warhammer 40K and AoS books...for kids.
I seriously have no idea if this is genius or stupid.
"Dictatorships foster oppression, dictatorships foster servitude, dictatorships foster cruelty; more abominable is the fact that they foster idiocy."

Xbox Live Gamer Tag: Strider Ryoken / PSN: Kenryo81 /Steam: Ryoken81
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(05-22-2018, 10:56 PM)Iron Maiden Wrote: https://www.mediaite.com/online/grocery-...mma-laude/

Quote:A proud — and now angry — mother took to Facebook on Sunday to voice her grievances after a grocery store censored her son’s graduation cake, as the lewd, American English meaning for the word “cum” apparently interfered with her son’s celebration of finishing high school with summa cum laude honors.

“I ordered Jacob’s graduation cake from Publix. A $70 cake!! He earned a 4.79 GPA,” wrote Cara Koscinski on Facebook, the upset mom in question. “Publix refused to write the words Summa Cum Laude because I was using ‘profanity!’ They put three dashes instead of the word!”

Don't tell them about this chain of CHRISTIAN book stores we have here:

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I always chuckle when I walk pass one cause I am a literal child.

(05-23-2018, 04:26 PM)ryoken Wrote: https://www.polygon.com/2018/5/22/173803...ck-library

Warhammer 40K and AoS books...for kids.
I seriously have no idea if this is genius or stupid.

It's both. Genius, in that getting kids hooked on the game means their parents will shell out a lot of money for armies for the kids. Stupid because trying to fit the most Grimdark of Grimdark settings in a way suitable for younger readers is so wrongheadedly silly.

It has been a bountiful source of memes though so I won't complain.
"I mean don't get me wrong fucking the wolf man is impressive but ugh." - Waaaaaaaalt
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Oh Britta.


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(05-08-2018, 10:16 AM)schwartz Wrote: [Image: 32105530_10154821557819364_4152067579373...e=5B912C75]


I try not to quote myself often, but I saw this pop up again on a Facebook feed, and it occurred to me that it's 5x funnier if you imagine the sax man in the bottom corner is playing this.
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https://twitter.com/CatlinNyaa/status/10...6415260678

   

She lost the internship, but Homer Hickam is trying to get her something else, so I don't feel too terrible about laughing:

http://homerhickamblog.blogspot.com/2018...media.html
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“That which doesn't kill you wasn't done right.”—Khaya Dlanga
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Wasn't sure where else to put this, but I just learned that Mickey Rooney owned an all-potato restaurant called Mickey Rooney's Potato Fantasy. (Note: "Free Handshakes For Seniors & Veterans!") I will think about this for the rest of the day:

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STARCH: THE RESTAURANT


(Also, gotta love the "NO TIPPING, EVER" fine print at the bottom. Guess ole Mickey was a cheap SOB and wanted to signal others like him they could load up on spuds and butter and not have to worry about leaving a little extra for the server. Whom I'm just certain was paid a healthy living wage for their work, right?)
"Nooj's true feelings on any given subject are unknown and unknowable. He is the butterfly flapping its wings in Peking. He is chaos and destruction and you shall never see his true form." - Merriweather

My Steam ID: yizashigreyspear
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That no tipping business is messed up. No matter the occupation. If I feel like a person goes above and beyond in their job, even in a place where employees don't normally receive tips, and feel they deserve extra....that's my fucking business. Between me and that employee and no one else.

There's a grocery chain around where I live called Brookshire's that's stuck in a different decade. They are not supposed to EVER let you carry your own groceries out. And the people that do carry the groceries out aren't supposed to accept tips. I was there buying about five dozen cases of bottled water to take to a job site and they had this poor old guy take those buggies and carts out. Dead of summer and this dude is like 60 and busting his ass and just wearing himself out. I tipped him $50....just because, ya know? He tried to turn it down because he was afraid he'd get in trouble but I insisted and snuck it to him. Someone saw it and ratted him out and cut his hours down to nil the next week (they wouldn't fire people....they'd just fuck with them till they quit....so they wouldn't have to pay unemployment I'm assuming). I felt so bad sand responsible that I went up there and raised hell about it. I mean...because I'm "the customer" they always suck your dick no matter what because the customer is always right and they gotta remain courteous no matter what. Well, I'm the customer and I'm saying that I'm gonna stop shopping here if he (and whoever else) continues to be treated that way. Fucking dumb shit managers...you'd think I'd presented them with an impossible, solution-less conundrum. Ohh, I was mad. I eventually made sure it was made right but my god...what is the point of all that?
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"found this on youtube with 0 views. feeling very honored to be the first to see it"
https://twitter.com/fart/status/1032863497783103489
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"It's bullshit! I did naht eat her....I DID NAHT!"

"Oh, hai shark!"
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I cant stop laughing at this letsplay:





I need to play this game in co-op with a friend.
"Dictatorships foster oppression, dictatorships foster servitude, dictatorships foster cruelty; more abominable is the fact that they foster idiocy."

Xbox Live Gamer Tag: Strider Ryoken / PSN: Kenryo81 /Steam: Ryoken81
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We have been trying to find a used vehicle for my niece, and met someone at a party a few weeks ago that works for a used car place. He said the place's name is the Friendly Auto Gallery. I resisted saying anything about what the acronym spelled out.
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We used to have an auto dealer in town called the Kompact Kar Korner.  Yep.
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Ratzlaff's Auto Service in Seal Beach CA.
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"It is happening. #TheThing"
https://twitter.com/RealWilfordB/status/...7467726849
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I know what you mean, Wilford. Trust is a hard thing to come by. Tell you what? Why don't you trust in The Lord?
"I mean don't get me wrong fucking the wolf man is impressive but ugh." - Waaaaaaaalt
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You might not think you need Hannibal Lecter telling dad jokes, but ya does
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(11-02-2018, 11:56 AM)schwartz Wrote: [/url][url=https://twitter.com/paul_haine/status/1057708305198530560]You might not think you need Hannibal Lecter telling dad jokes, but ya does

LOVED this.  Thank you!
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On a similar note....if you answer the door in a bathrobe with Goodbye Horses blasting in the background...it turns out Jehovah's Witnesses actually DON'T want to talk to you all that badly..
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From the wikipedia page for the band Portugal the man. :

"In 1998 the band Portugal, The Man was formed of Stop and Shop deli employees. They started working at the supermarket giant at consecutive months starting in May. In 1999 they decided to leave stop and shop and as a result that stop and shop location went bankrupt. However Portugal, The Man has gone on to be a very successful band with one song."
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A farting controversy has clouded a darts tournament:

https://nypost.com/2018/11/17/dart-champ...NYPTwitter

Quote:Two pro dart players have accused each other of farting on stage during a match in England this week — casting a cloud of controversy over the heralded tournament.

“It’ll take me two nights to lose this smell from my nose,” Dutch player Wesley Harms fumed after getting blown away 10-2 by Scotland’s Gary Anderson at the Grand Slam of Darts in Wolverhampton.

Harms chalked up his foul play to a “fragrant smell” — which he deduced came from the Scotsman’s bowels.

But Anderson — who has admitted to passing gas during matches in the past — insisted he was innocent of this olfactory offense, the Guardian reported.

“If the boy thinks I’ve farted, he’s 1,010 percent wrong,” said Anderson, who’s ranked the world’s No. 4 dart player, and moved on to the quarterfinals. “I swear on my children’s lives that it was not my fault. I had a bad stomach once on stage before and admitted it. So I’m not going to lie about farting on stage.”

He continued: “Usually if I fart on stage, I s—t myself, I’ve told you that before,” the Express UK reported.

The British press has swooned over the colonic controversy, calling it “Fartgate.”

“We’ve got to get to the bottom of this,” the UK’s Professional Darts Corporation chairman Barry Hearn quipped, according to the BBC.

“Something doesn’t smell right,” he added.
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