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The All-Purpose "Nuke Florida From Orbit" Thread
#36
A[quote name="Judas Booth" url="/community/t/148953/the-all-purpose-nuke-florida-from-orbit-thread#post_3575671"]
Oranges?  Marilyn Manson?
[/quote]

I'm in Northeast Florida..I won't accept the blame for inflicting Marilyn Manson upon the world...and we have apologized enough for Vanilla Ice, and Limp Bizkit.....
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#37

Lemme ferret my mom out of the state first, and then I'll give you the green light.

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#38

While I am always an advocate of the use of Orbital bombardment as a solution to any problem, it looks as thought this one might take care of itself.  Apparently the Earth has decided it is also done with the Sunshine State and has decided to reabsorb it in-vitro siamese twin style.

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#39
AIs Dave Barry still there? We'll have to evacuate him first.
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#40

Hell, a once-a-day trip to FARK will give you enough Florida insanity to warrant the proposed bombardment.

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#41

If your a fan of Death Metal, Florida is the place to be. However I'm a proud Hair Metal aficionado, so that isn't a plus in my book.

I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is that I have lost my way. The good news is that I'm way ahead of schedule.
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#42
A[quote name="Chaz" url="/community/t/148953/the-all-purpose-nuke-florida-from-orbit-thread#post_3582509"]If your a fan of Death Metal, Florida is the place to be. However I'm a proud Hair Metal aficionado, so that isn't a plus in my book.
[/quote]

All the Death Metal bands here have become so interchangeable....
on the plus side we do have a pretty good selection of Doom bands..and black metal has a huge following here.
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#43
ACan someone explain the difference between Death Metal and Doom Bands? Asking for a friend.
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#44
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

Can someone explain the difference between Death Metal and Doom Bands? Asking for a friend.


Wow, we're talking a really wide gulf, Doom has its roots in bands like Black Sabbath, a lot of slower, moodier type stuff and the vocals are usually intelligible if "weird" like Ozzy's are. While Death Metal normally isn't as fast as Thrash Metal it's more of a mid-paced type of metal making it much faster than Doom, the vocals are almost all deep, guttural growls that can barely be made out as words and the atmosphere is either pure satanism, extreme violence or horror. The point is to feel like your face is being punched in, Doom Metal is more like traversing a misty swamp on a wooden boat while weeping over your losses, Death Metal is cutting a pentagram into the flesh of your dead cheerleader victims and then possibly eating parts of them.

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#45

And what in the holy fuck is black metal?

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#46
AI guess, if pressed, I'm more of a Doom Metal kind of guy.
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#47

All I know is that Black Metal comes from Norway and is, I believe, pretty damned Satanic.  Really evil type stuff.



Crazy Scandinaveans.

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#48
ASo even though there are Christian rock bands, there aren't any Christian Black Metal bands?
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#49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post
 

And what in the holy fuck is black metal?



Okay, normally very fast but it has to have a very low-fi sound normally, it shouldn't be over-produced. It's satanic but in a darker, less fun way than Death Metal, if that makes sense? A Death Metal album might look cool like this:





Wheras Black Metal is meant to go for grim and dark like this:





While Death Metal uses Satanic stuff for fun Black Metal gets into Satanic philosophy and is much more high minded and intellectual than Death Metal normally is. Black Metal is heavily focused on image and lyrics, Black Metal bands tend to dress up in leather garb, where face paint and all kinds of stuff you guys might view as "goth". Black Metal bands take themselves so seriously, often, that members have been arrested for actually burning down churches, a few Black Metal bands are actually fronted by murderers (Dissection's lead singer recently was released from jail after stabbing someone to death for being a homosexual). That's the other thing, Black Metal can be a haven for racism and homophobia, for neo nazis in a way that Punk often is. The vocals for Black Metal are more high pitched types of ridiculous demon sounds as opposed to the deep stuff in Death Metal, the interesting thing though is many Death Metal bands have backing vocals that are the screech normally associated with Black Metal and Black Metal will occasionally have a Death Metal growl or two thrown into a song as well. The most popular Black Metal bands aren't considered real Black Metal because 1. Too popular and 2. Too nice sounding. Dimmu Borgir and Cradle of Filth would be the most popular two bands, but because of their production values and reliance on crunchy riffs they're clearly trying harder to entertain the listener than normal black metal making them not "true black metal", also they both use keyboards which is considered a no-no if you want to be real black metal. That said there is a tremendous amount of more melodic black metal bands who employ keyboards often.

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#50
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

So even though there are Christian rock bands, there aren't any Christian Black Metal bands?


There are bands who call themselves Christian Black Metal but they're rarely considered real Black Metal by fans of the genre or other Black Metal bands. They couldn't tour with most Black Metal bands who don't do this all for show but really believe this shit, they might actively try to murder the other band's members (no exaggeration).

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#51
AThat's fucking metal.
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#52

It'd be funny if the lead singer for Stryper fronted a black metal band as a side project.  You know, for the kids.

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#53
AI dated a goth in college who listened to Cradle of Filth. I guess she wasn't really as metal as she thought.

She works at a zoo now. Also not very metal.
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#54

Cradle of Filth earn lots of scorn for being loved by goth girls who in the '90s would hang out in Hot Topics in malls across America. The Mall is among many things that represent the antithesis of being black metal. The band has a ridiculously bad reputation among "true" black metal fans. Plus their lyrics are elegant poetry about vampiric romances, they're like the Anne Rice of Black Metal bands. I, personally, love them but I never cared much how "elite" I was in the metal community.

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#55
AWhich I think makes you more metal, GvR.
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#56
A[quote name="Jackson" url="/community/t/148953/the-all-purpose-nuke-florida-from-orbit-thread#post_3583120"]And what in the holy fuck is black metal?
[/quote]




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#57

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#58

oh my GOD! You found that interview! Watch the whole thing sometime, it's constantly hysterical! That guy is such a lunatic, Gorgoroth are among my favorite Black Metal bands. The name is taken from The Plains of Gorgoroth which is a location within Mordor in Lord of the Rings.

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#59

Reasor, your link crapped out on me for some reason.  Maybe I'm not metal enough.



I found this though.



And to think, I thought I was all in the know with my Ministry and Sepultura.

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#60
Quote:

Originally Posted by Gamera vs Rodan View Post
 

oh my GOD! You found that interview! Watch the whole thing sometime, it's constantly hysterical! That guy is such a lunatic, Gorgoroth are among my favorite Black Metal bands. The name is taken from The Plains of Gorgoroth which is a location within Mordor in Lord of the Rings.



It's an EXCELLENT documentary, I agree.  And yeah, Gaahl is hysterical in his uber seriousness.

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#61
A[quote name="Jackson" url="/community/t/148953/the-all-purpose-nuke-florida-from-orbit-thread/50#post_3583168"]Reasor, your link crapped out on me for some reason.  Maybe I'm not metal enough.[/quote]

Real metalheads know that tori is where it's at, anyhow.







***\m/\m/**
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#62
A[quote name="Bradito" url="/community/t/148953/the-all-purpose-nuke-florida-from-orbit-thread#post_3583129"]So even though there are Christian rock bands, there aren't any Christian Black Metal bands?[/quote]

It does exist...the term Un-black metal is thrown around by the fans...
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#63
AWell, I'll be a monkey's uncle. That's amazing.
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#64

 I do recommend Lords of Chaos for anyone who wants to learn about the Black Metal bands from Norway. It deals a lot with the band members who burned churches. I found it interesting that Aton LeVey thinks they're dip shits because they would rather be miserable and in jail, than be happy. I read the book because weird shit interests me, not because I'm a fan of the music or arson and murder.

I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is that I have lost my way. The good news is that I'm way ahead of schedule.
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#65
AGavin Baddeley's "Lucifer Rising" is a decent read as well. It's a more generalized look at the evolution of Satanism through the 20th Century, but musicians who made their religious affiliations a part of their public personae definitely get covered. There are some decent interviews as well.
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#66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
 

It'd be funny if the lead singer for Stryper fronted a black metal band as a side project.  You know, for the kids.


New Stryper CD comes out soon! I'm actually such a fan that I don't care that I have derailed this thread. In case anyone is thinking, didn't Chaz admit he is an atheist in another thread, yes I am, but I do believe in three part harmonies, twin lead guitars, a drummer who refers to himself as the visual time keeper, and being heavy, yet still melodic.

I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is that I have lost my way. The good news is that I'm way ahead of schedule.
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#67

This thread has taken an unusual turn.

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#68
AA turn for the better.
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#69

As long as this thread has taken a spectacular derailment, why haven't Bradito's and my avatars fought yet?  Preferably accompanied by a Sunn O))) score.

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#70
AOh, they've fought in my fanfiction, Ben. But to Stan Bush.
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