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The Continuing Adventures of Captain Garbage
AOr an issue of Viz.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Bucho View Post

Wait till Lightning Slim finds an Asterix omnibus, you guys won't know what hit you.


Now you're just grabbing random words out of the dictionary! What's next, an Ampersand syllabus? A Colon compendium?

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightning Slim View Post

Beano! A blast from the past,


What I thought when I first read this...



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A[quote name="Jacob Singer" url="/community/t/155639/the-continuing-adventures-of-captain-garbage/350#post_4472909"]Now you're just grabbing random words out of the dictionary! What's next, an Ampersand syllabus? A Colon compendium?[/quote]

Why not both?
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A[quote name="Disciple_72" url="/community/t/155639/the-continuing-adventures-of-captain-garbage/360#post_4472887"]Or an issue of Viz.[/quote]

Viz, you say?

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[Image: 400]

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AAh, Viz. so profane and yet still funny. Somebody had a golden idea when they said “hey let’s take these children’s annuals and pitch them at soccer hooligans and also hipsters who mock soccer hooligans.”
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Hooligans and hipsters? Not sure about that. I remember it having had a much broader appeal. Besides, there weren't any hipsters back then.



Can't speak for it's readership now, mind. Maybe it is chuckled at over an avocado toast and a single source espresso. Good luck to the ostentatiously-bearded, irony-immersed, meme-mocked lot of them if they've found their way to Viz.

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AThere have always been hipsters. They have gone by many names through the ages, but there have always been a class of people who mock others while indulging in the exact same venalities.

And yeah, Viz is great. I just meant it’s always (and probably still does) have a loyal following of folks who would not be seen reading it in public.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightning Slim View Post

There have always been hipsters. They have gone by many names through the ages, but there have always been a class of people who mock others while indulging in the exact same venalities.

And yeah, Viz is great. I just meant it’s always (and probably still does) have a loyal following of folks who would not be seen reading it in public.

Viz., concordantly and e.g.



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AToday’s chapter in Why The Terrorists Hate Us:

There’s a property I visit every Wednesday. At least once a month their ChefsPlate.com order is on the curb, unopened. This is prepared food they had delivered, didn’t pick up on time and let go bad, and then threw away. About $100 of salmon risotto, radicchio salads, etc.

Fuck all that.
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ASo this note was attached to two bags, a cracked plastic bin and a folding lawn chair. A modest haul of trash if ever there was one.

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Bless your heart, Michael. There are some houses on my route who can’t keep it under the ten bag limit at any given time.
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AHe spelled aboot wrong.







[SPOILER=Warning: Spoiler!]I COULDN'T HELP IT[/SPOILER]
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AMy Haul All broke down. Major engine trouble. So now I’m trying to do the same job in a regular woodyside pick up truck. Good times.

But that’s not the best part! When it broke down it was full of garbage. Three days later the shop calls to tell me they got the PTO engaged just long enough to get the back door open. Before it’s towed to the dealership, it needs to be emptied.

By hand.

1500 kilograms of three day old garbage, moistened by the rain. We crack open the side of a functioning Haul All, ease it up to the opening and start throwing. When we can’t reach any more bags, we crawl inside. Hunched over to stand inside the box, we keep throwing, taking turns to go outside when our backs hurt or a droplet of moisture comes too close to our mouths.

It takes about half an hour. We finish with shovels when we get down to the layer of salad (that’s what items that fly out of broken bags and other miscellaneous detritus is called.)

At least Chevy, the actual junkyard dog at this auto shop, is happy to see us when we go back inside. He is delighted with our odours and flavours.
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Thanks for the daily reminder not to complain about my cushy desk job in an air-conditioned office...

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I hated my desk job far more than anything I’ve ever done in the garbage lyfe.
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Captain Garbage Trashy Protip:

Before putting your couch on the curb, cut open the bottom.

It’s where we find your money. Maybe not you Americans, but in any place where coins have value we clean up. We find weird, gross stuff too, but also entire wallets.
“I feel a connection with you. A man connection. A mannection.”
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The moment when you realize that losing "The Continuing Adventures of Captain Garbage" would have been a legit tragedy had these boards not outlived the death of CHUD
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Im grateful that my musings have survived. Although alas, not the pictures. I’ll have to start finding more stuff.

Last week one of the guys got a Fender guitar amp.
“I feel a connection with you. A man connection. A mannection.”
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The weather has been miserable, the crew beset with a litany of medical and mechanical setbacks. The Xmas bonus seems a long time ago but still it snows.

And yet miracles can still happen. Friday morning I essentially co-starred in a recreation of the Cameron Diaz vs. Mailman scene in Charlie’s Angels. A young woman in the tiniest of boy shorts insisted that she apologetically run up and down her porch stairs to give me her late to the curb garbage bags.

The most delightful element was her man, standing in the front doorway and cycling through bemusement, pride and stinkeye.
“I feel a connection with you. A man connection. A mannection.”
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hahahahaha
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NO PICS?!?!?!

For shame.

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