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Hollywood Scandals & Assorted Skeeve Catch-All
I don't know if that's what he's really saying. "Having to listen to them say no." It came across more like...you actually have to be afraid of even tastefully pursuing someone you're interested in. Some women DO play hard to get and WANT a man to try harder. And y'all know what I mean...not following her home after she says no and being a REAL creep...but not taking no as the SET IN STONE end of it and doing something to impress them. There's nothing wrong with that. A lot of women DO find that romantic. They want to be wanted. But it's become a thing that you have to be honestly afraid of. Even if she says "no" with a wink...best to just assume that no is the same as the one shouted through a locked door or something.

Admittedly, just a flat NO is a good indicator, obviously. We're talking about the "maybe another times" or the "we'll sees." A lot of times women remember it as saying no because that's really what they were thinking but instead said something that implied a possibility. If they really REALLY mean no they should say it so that there's no confusion. But if they say "maybe another time" then they shouldn't be surprised to see some dudes coming back to try their luck again..
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(07-13-2018, 10:37 PM)fraid uh noman Wrote: I don't know if that's what he's really saying. "Having to listen to them say no." It came across more like...you actually have to be afraid of even tastefully pursuing someone you're interested in. Some women DO play hard to get and WANT a man to try harder. And y'all know what I mean...not following her home after she says no and being a REAL creep...but not taking no as the SET IN STONE end of it and doing something to impress them. There's nothing wrong with that. A lot of women DO find that romantic. They want to be wanted. But it's become a thing that you have to be honestly afraid of. Even if she says "no" with a wink...best to just assume that no is the same as the one shouted through a locked door or something.

Admittedly, just a flat NO is a good indicator, obviously. We're talking about the "maybe another times" or the "we'll sees." A lot of times women remember it as saying no because that's really what they were thinking but instead said something that implied a possibility. If they really REALLY mean no they should say it so that there's no confusion. But if they say "maybe another time" then they shouldn't be surprised to see some dudes coming back to try their luck again..

You Monster. Im capitalizing the M to drive it home.
“I call upon you to stop this musical now,” she said to the board. “You tear a community apart if you don’t.” -Prachi Ruina                                                            
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(07-13-2018, 10:37 PM)fraid uh noman Wrote: I don't know if that's what he's really saying.

I was just messing around.

The only thing I was serious about is that his own words, plus his interest in barely-legal young women DO make a really skeevy combo.

Also, he's the worst Superman. So THERE.
Gamertag: Tweakee
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I'm paraphrasing a lot of different variations on this, but basically, if your pursuit of women could be construed as creepy or you think it'll get you accused of rape, maybe rethink your approach.

Too often, and I think this is a thing with men and the way men are raised, we are taught that women want to be pursued, that no means "maybe later," and that we have to chase after them. Or that we have to try to impress them with a grand romantic gesture. I've thought a lot about this and talked to a lot of women about this, and I think the thing that is most appealing to them, above anything else, is confidence. And in talking to men about this, I think one of the problems is that men are equating confidence with aggression.

And this kind of outdated idea about romance and pursuit hurts women, too - they're taught that they can't be the aggressor, that they have to play coy, that if a guy is aggressive with them, it means he likes them. Or that they have to get guys to do something bold and romantic for them. It really comes back to the idea that patriarchy and patriarchal ideas hurt everyone.

Finally, fraid, I know you're a good guy, but I think you're absolutely wrong when you say that men shouldn't take a no as "set in stone." They should. Does that mean they should never talk to that woman again? Fuck no. But there's value in taking a no at face value and seeing if they want to be friends instead. Taking no at face value and not trying to analyze could lead to you being considered creepy or aggressive.

And I'd say that's EVEN in a situation where they say "maybe later," because women are taught to never SAY no, to always downplay it or dismiss it. Women are taught to always demure, to never tell a man no - and frankly, I guarantee that's because they've experienced a lifetime of sexual harassment and being called bitches FOR saying no. So they want to avoid that confrontation. I think it has very little to do with them "wanting to be wanted."

Like, I'm the last person to be giving dating advice, but I do think there's value in being direct - "I like you, I'd like to date you, but if not, I'd rather be friends." Just put all that shit out there.
home taping is killing music
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(07-14-2018, 10:29 AM)boone daniels Wrote: And I'd say that's EVEN in a situation where they say "maybe later," because women are taught to never SAY no, to always downplay it or dismiss it. Women are taught to always demure, to never tell a man no - and frankly, I guarantee that's because they've experienced a lifetime of sexual harassment and being called bitches FOR saying no. So they want to avoid that confrontation. I think it has very little to do with them "wanting to be wanted."

Like, I'm the last person to be giving dating advice, but I do think there's value in being direct - "I like you, I'd like to date you, but if not, I'd rather be friends." Just put all that shit out there.

When my daughters hit their teen years, one thing I told them repeatedly was "Don't worry about the guy's feelings. Be direct. Be frank. Don't equivocate or soften things up."

Some of that was because I didn't want them to think they weren't allowed to be blunt or direct with men. Some of that was because too many men assume/think that "Not now" or "Maybe later" really means "Keep coming after me."
"Nooj's true feelings on any given subject are unknown and unknowable. He is the butterfly flapping its wings in Peking. He is chaos and destruction and you shall never see his true form." - Merriweather

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Guys should be taught to take rejection better. It's nothing personal. She just thinks you're ugly, fat, short, smelly or have a micropenis. She's not rejecting the wonderful person that you are deep down.
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(07-14-2018, 12:36 PM)bradito Wrote: She just thinks you have a micropenis.

Wait... can they tell?

(Asking for a friend)
Gamertag: Tweakee
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(07-14-2018, 05:24 AM)farsight Wrote:
(07-13-2018, 10:37 PM)fraid uh noman Wrote: I don't know if that's what he's really saying.

I was just messing around.

The only thing I was serious about is that his own words, plus his interest in barely-legal young women DO make a really skeevy combo.

Also, he's the worst Superman. So THERE.

Tom Welling.
I'm still avian.
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(07-14-2018, 01:46 PM)thecooleravian Wrote: Tom Welling.

Doesn't playing the character for a decade count for anything?
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(07-14-2018, 02:19 PM)JMurdoch Wrote:
(07-14-2018, 01:46 PM)thecooleravian Wrote: Tom Welling.

Doesn't playing the character for a decade count for anything?

Not if you don't wear the fucking costume for a decade.
I'm still avian.
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Pretty much if you even THINK you might be doing the wrong thing....DON'T DO THAT THING..
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(07-14-2018, 03:38 PM)fraid uh noman Wrote: Pretty much if you even THINK you might be doing the wrong thing....DON'T DO THAT THING..
It's amazing how many problems this solves.
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Like....practically every one..
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It’s telling that, when thinking about how I would rank Superman actors, I remembered George Newburn, Tyler Howchlin, and Tim Daly but Welling never crossed my mind once.

And I’m not a Smallville hater. I thought the show was generally fine to pretty good when they actually tried to do sSuperman-ish stuff instead of making Lana a witch or whatever.
Superlaser speaks for me from now on.

-Bart
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I'll take Welling's "Is Superman mentally challenged?" over Cavill's "Is Superman one more person screaming for help away from a killing spree?" any day.

But hey, both dated teenagers!
Gamertag: Tweakee
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(07-14-2018, 08:24 PM)farsight Wrote: I'll take Welling's "Is Superman mentally challenged?" over Cavill's "Is Superman one more person screaming for help away from a killing spree?" any day.

But hey, both dated teenagers!

I’d give Cavill the edge performance-wise though. If you gave both of them competent material to work with, Cavill would run laps around Welling without breaking a sweat.
Superlaser speaks for me from now on.

-Bart
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For the purposes of this thread, Smallville has bigger problems than bland actors.
"I'd rather wake up in the middle of nowhere than in any city on Earth."--Steve McQueen
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That's a massive understatement.
Originally Posted by ImmortanNick 

Saw Batman v Superman.
Now I know what it's like to see Nickelback in concert.

That's my review.
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