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JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM Post-Release


"Dictatorships foster oppression, dictatorships foster servitude, dictatorships foster cruelty; more abominable is the fact that they foster idiocy."

Xbox Live Gamer Tag: Strider Ryoken / PSN: Kenryo81 /Steam: Ryoken81
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I went into this film certain there was no way they could match how fucking bad Jurassic World was but by some miracle of god this film almooooost succeeds. At least JW had the decency to have a good idea at the heart of it but Fallen Kingdom barely even registers as a movie. It revolves around the barest of excuses to get the cast together - an auction or something. With the final moments promising that maybe the next film will be worthy of existing. There's no fun, no suspense, no wonder, just a boring trudge through some paint-by-numbers nonsense starring a mannequin and a block of wood.

I did like though how instead of making the computer effects better they decided to make all the actors look digital. Chris Pratt is so airbrushed he looks like a cloud with eyes.

EDIT: This film also has THREE repetitions of the exact same gag where some terrified character is running away from a dinosaur and once he's like 2 inches ahead of the thing breathes a huge sigh of relief and goes "Ooooh yeah, I made it! Take that, dinosaur!" only to be undercut and immediately eaten/almost eaten.
I might have been born yesterday sir, but I stayed up all night!
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I still cant believe that CLOM clearly (IMO) wanted to make a post-apocalyptic dinosaur movie, but hitched his idea on JP as a franchise to get it done.
I dont know if its evil, genius, stupid or a combination of all three.
"Dictatorships foster oppression, dictatorships foster servitude, dictatorships foster cruelty; more abominable is the fact that they foster idiocy."

Xbox Live Gamer Tag: Strider Ryoken / PSN: Kenryo81 /Steam: Ryoken81
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Did you see The Book Of Henry?
“I call upon you to stop this musical now,” she said to the board. “You tear a community apart if you don’t.” -Prachi Ruina                                                            
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(08-13-2018, 01:00 PM)waaaaaaaalt Wrote: Did you see The Book Of Henry?

I think you're not supposed to look at it directly, since its like an eclipse of stupidity.
Ive read enough on it and still cant believe its real.
Also, I think CLOM may be theBlody Stupid Johnson of current filmmaking.
"Dictatorships foster oppression, dictatorships foster servitude, dictatorships foster cruelty; more abominable is the fact that they foster idiocy."

Xbox Live Gamer Tag: Strider Ryoken / PSN: Kenryo81 /Steam: Ryoken81
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(08-13-2018, 01:22 PM)ryoken Wrote:
(08-13-2018, 01:00 PM)waaaaaaaalt Wrote: Did you see The Book Of Henry?

I think you're not supposed to look at it directly, since its like an eclipse of stupidity.
Ive read enough on it and still cant believe its real.
Also, I think CLOM may be theBlody Stupid Johnson of current filmmaking.

Please watch it.
“I call upon you to stop this musical now,” she said to the board. “You tear a community apart if you don’t.” -Prachi Ruina                                                            
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Is this franchise even about dinosaurs anymore?

I feel like I watched the cinematic equivalent to an old married couple trying to jump-start their sex life. If dinosaurs can't get you hard anymore just move on. 

The weird part is you introduce this legitimate, interesting idea about a cloned kid... but you are making JP movies. I want dinosaurs not Multiplicity. Either skip 10 years and have Dolly ruling the Earth with her psychically controlled dinosaurs or give me a turgid legal drama where all the survivors of the 2018 Nightmarish Prehistoric Beast Massacre are suing Dolly... and only Blue has the evidence to clear her name!
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