Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
COMEDY SKETCH Draft - Day Two - April 28
#1
Rules:

You can pick within your timeslot. Or any time after your timeslot. Or before your timeslot only if you make sure the people in the timeslot immediately preceding yours have finished.

Avoid mentioning unpicked titles in any of the draft threads.

All times EST


9:00am

Schwartz
Mangy
Hp Pufncraft


10:00am

Fat Elvis
Arjen Rudd
Pither


11:00am

Judas Booth
Huntertarantino
Jmurdoch


Noon 

Richard Dickson
Alt-Molt
Guttenberg Fan Club
Boone Daniels

1:00pm  (2 picks each)

Bailey
Simbob
Atomtastic


2:00pm

Richard Dickson
Alt-Molt
Guttenberg Fan Club
Boone Daniels

3:00pm

Judas Booth
Huntertarantino
Jmurdoch


4:00pm

Fat Elvis
Arjen Rudd
Pither


5:00pm

Schwartz
Mangy
Hp Pufncraft
Reply
#2
Prepared for Terries (Key & Peele)


Mangy Wrote:TCM 2 is like sentient cocaine.
Reply
#3
"Bones are their money" from I Think You Should Leave



I was in a horror-comedy called BLACK HOLLER. It's now on Prime Video. Check it out!
Reply
#4
"And now, because of St. Patrick’s Day, Mr. John Belushi is here to discuss the luck of the Irish."



John Belushi: "Thank you, thank you very much. Well it’s come that time again, St. Patrick’s Day has come and gone and well the sons of Ireland are basking in the glow. When I think of Ireland I think a lot of colorful Irish expressions like, “Top of the morning to ya,” “Kiss the barney stone,” “May the road rise to meet ya,” “May you be in heaven an hour before the devil knows you’re dead,” “I’d like to smash you in the face with my shalalee,” “Danny-boy,” “Bhagora,” “Wail of the banshee,” and “Whiskey for the leprechauns, whisky for the leprechauns.” But the expression I think most people identify with the Irish, is, of course, the luck of the Irish.


The luck of the Irish. Sure. Let’s say you’re in a pub somewhere in Ireland, oh, anywhere in Ireland, some guy comes up to you and says, “Hey is that a bomb on you I hear ticking?” And then BAM!!! Your small intestines are on the ceiling and your brains are on your car across the street. That’s the luck of the Irish for ya, who’s kidding who, okay?


Let’s talk about the bad luck of the Irish, all right? How about this, POTATO FAMINE!! How about that? It scares them, doesn’t it? Well it should. That’s why they came here in the first place. So they wouldn’t have to work in the potato fields. That’s why they became politicians, priests, and cops. Luck? Gimme a break.


I got a friend, his name is Dan Sullivan, he’s Irish as they come. We used to drink together a lot. After two drinks, he would look like an Irish pirate. You know? You think he had luck? In one day he got his car stolen, and the stupid, he had no insurance, and no license, and he gets locked up for being drunk. And after that, he takes off for someplace like India or Nepal, or someplace like that. And his mother dies, ya know, so they wire him to tell him to come to the funeral. It’s his mother’s funeral, that’s all. And he’s in India or Nepal, sitting squat-legged listening to some sacred cow. So he comes back and he gets stopped at U.S. Customs for trafficking illegal drugs, not holding, he’s trafficking. I mean, here’s this guy Sullivan, his old lady kicks off, he gets popped at the border and he’s sitting on fifty pounds of black Tibetan finger hash and two keys of slam. Now that’s not bad luck, that’s DUMB luck. I don’t think luck has anything to do with it, I don’t think he has any brains at all. First of all, he’s drunk, then he’s a junkie. I don’t know what’s worse. Don’t ask me, ask Sullivan. And what happens? He calls me up and says, “Hey man, I got busted at the border. I need five grand bail.” I said, I said, “Five grand man!? Hey man, I’ve never even seen five thousand dollars in my life, so don’t ask me for it, man, why don’t you ask your mother!!” Which was a dumb thing for me to say because his mother just died. Right now, I got this drunken Irish junkie who wants to kill me because of what I said about his mother being in terminal dreamland. Oh pal. One thing! One thing!!! They love their mothers, boy, oh they love their mothers. It’s momma this, momma that. Oh my Irish mother! Ireland must be heaven, because my mother.. aauugghhh! Aaauugghhh!!!"


[Image: ldewbqn8uegz.jpg]


[Image: tumblr_nlctnjATky1snlup4o1_500.jpg]





[Image: dGbDF.gif]

"Got concrete rhymes, been rappin' for ten years and

Even when I'm braggin', I'm bein' sincere"



"Teenage angst has paid off well/ Now I'm bored and old"


"Drunk as hell, but no throwin' up

Half way home and my pager still blowin' up"


"I'm tired of living all alone
yeah, nobody ever calls me on the phone
But when things start getting bad
I just play my music louder"





Reply
#5
Mr. Show - Mom n' Pop Porno Shop



Reply
#6
The Great Philouza - Mr. Show


Brigadier Cousins on PSN
Reply
#7
3.  SNL: 'Willie And Frankie: Security Guards'


Reply
#8
SNL - The Sinatra Group (1991)

Can't understand a word

[Image: source.gif]
Reply
#9
Mr. Show - Swear to God


My karmic debt must be huge.

----------

My blog: An Embarrassment of Rich's
Reply
#10
God is Dead - The Kids in the Hall




Reply
#11
Young Frankenstein- "Abby Normal" (1974)



Reply
#12
"If you were THRILLED by The Towering Inferno... if you were TERRIFIED by Earthquake... then you will be SCARED SHITLESS by the Samuel L. Bronkowitz production of..."

That's Armageddon

From The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977, dir. John Landis)





The most realistic depiction of death, doom, and destruction in motion picture history!

"Donald Sutherland... as THE CLUMSY WAITER!"
"PREDATOR 2 feels like it was penned by convicts as part of a correctional facility's creative writing program, and that's what I love about it." - Moltisanti
Reply
#13
The State - Cereal Commercial 





Tim and Eric - The Italian Massage



Reply
#14
Schmitt's Gay - SNL

"If you've got a big thirst...and you're gay, reach for a cold, tall bottle of Schmitt's Gay"



"I'm from the old school, I used to see men die for less - but I'm not livin' that way. I'll let my mic do the talking...and let the music play" - Joseph Conrad
Reply
#15
Monty Python's Flying Circus- Upper Class Twit of the Year




SNL- VH1 Storytellers: Neil Diamond


Reply
#16
Beyond the Fringe - The Aftermyth of War


My karmic debt must be huge.

----------

My blog: An Embarrassment of Rich's
Reply
#17
Martin Short: Concert for the North Americas - Tender Fella (1985)

Reply
#18
MONTY PYTHON: LIVE AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL: 'The Four Yorkshiremen'


Reply
#19
The Mitchell and Webb Look - "Are We the Baddies?" (2008)



Reply
#20
Pizza World Nights - Inside Amy Schumer

Pizza World Nights
"I'm from the old school, I used to see men die for less - but I'm not livin' that way. I'll let my mic do the talking...and let the music play" - Joseph Conrad
Reply
#21
It's a Wonderful Life: The Lost Ending (SNL)


Brigadier Cousins on PSN
Reply
#22
"You crossed my line of death!"
"You haven't dismantled your MX stockpile."
"Pakistan is threatening my border!"
"That's it, buster! NO MORE MILITARY AID!"

Nukem

From RoboCop (1987, dir. Paul Verhoeven)



"PREDATOR 2 feels like it was penned by convicts as part of a correctional facility's creative writing program, and that's what I love about it." - Moltisanti
Reply
#23
"Titular Line" - Upright Citizens Brigade




Reply
#24
SCTV, "Yellowbelly"



I was in a horror-comedy called BLACK HOLLER. It's now on Prime Video. Check it out!
Reply
#25
Dave Allen at Large - 10 Pound Note



Reply
#26
You Can Touch My Boobies (Rachel Bloom)



Mangy Wrote:TCM 2 is like sentient cocaine.
Reply
#27
Freakzoid! - Toby Danger








Reply
#28


Reply
#29
From the film AMAZON WOMEN ON THE MOON


(NSFW)

"I expected a little more from you, Ray."







"Got concrete rhymes, been rappin' for ten years and

Even when I'm braggin', I'm bein' sincere"



"Teenage angst has paid off well/ Now I'm bored and old"


"Drunk as hell, but no throwin' up

Half way home and my pager still blowin' up"


"I'm tired of living all alone
yeah, nobody ever calls me on the phone
But when things start getting bad
I just play my music louder"





Reply
#30
"FUCK ME, RAY BRADBURY" - Rachel Bloom - Self-Released/YouTube - 2010






"SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER"- Ensemble - The Producers, 1967



home taping is killing music
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)