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Weird Dreams
Last night I dreamt that I was reading an article that listed three reasons why Beavis and Butthead was canceled. I don't remember the first two, but the third and, according to the article, most important reason was that the show made no effort to appeal to the Latino Market. How the hell do our brains come up with this shit?
That's awesome. I had a dream last night that I was going to try to type in here, but I can't find the words to describe it. David Lynch would be proud.
Last night I had a dream that I was Agent Muldor and Agent Scully was giving me a blowjob in a car. And then we went off on some weird case. I think it had to do with some old house and a ghost or something.
By the way anyone know how to repeat a dream?
Cause I really liked that one.
Try falling asleep watching the X-Files while porno music plays on your stereo.

Brian Ross:
By the way anyone know how to repeat a dream?
Cause I really liked that one.

<a href="" target="_blank">
The Art of Dreaming</a> by Carlos Castaneda

<a href="" target="_blank">
Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming</a> by some guy

<a href=" KUMC" target="_blank">Westen Rain Boots</a> (not sure why, but they were reccomended for people who bought these books)
Dreamt an entire Kevin Smith movie last night. Jay and Silent Bob were being pursued by a Satanic cult which they had accidentally uncovered in their apartment building. They had found a chopped-up body submerged in a full bathtub.
I had a dream that started out with me watching Big Fat Greek Wedding (which I have not seen) and then it turned out that the family was the Butabi's from Night at the Roxbury. Then it got crazy and psychadelic. Hard to explain.
Rather than retyping, go here for my stuff and more discussion on this topic: <a href="" target="_blank"></a>
I dreamt that a friend's now-ex was pregnant and he didn't believe me. He has since learned, through several instances, not to question my intuition.

That was a weird dream considering I had never ever met her before, and it turned out to be right.
I dreamt that my campus Barnes and Noble was selling Kind of Blue for 50 dollars.

And it scared me. A lot.

I don't know why...*shrug*
Did you shoplift it?
"I dream of my death over and over and over and over..."

If you get that, you're worthy of a long, nerdy conversation.
Best Dream Ever:

I was hunting procupines — don't ask — with my father and two friends. Mid-dream, we came upon two porcupines. Afraid, the animals fired their quills, which impaled us like spears.

Two quills cut through my larynx. I literally felt them. A quill impaled my father through the skull. My friends were stuck with many needles, like pincushions. We ran.

The entire party, bleeding like cut pigs, ran to a 'Jeep'. The 'Jeep', transported us to a parking lot on the edge of 'town'. Here, bleeding still (I could feel it), and impaled with porcupine quills, we were forced to leave the 'jeep' . Appearantly, my brain had decided it was time to ride bikes.

Riding bikes hurt. My father, by this point, had left the dream. So my friends and I, pedalling home, decided to stop at a farm. (Here, dream-state manifestations of pain ceased.)

The farm had a selection of giant horses. Quills removed, I decide to climb the fence and enter the horse paddock. Suddenly, in the paddock, along comes the farmer's daughter. She happens to be a 'real' girl from one of my courses.

The farmer's daughter enters the horse paddock. We start making-out. Then(of course), along comes the farmer(a real guy, and a neighbour, but not an actual farmer), her dad. Angered, he demands I aritifically insemate one of his giant horses. Presumably, this is for trying to hump his daughter.

I oblige. Oddly, arifically inseminating a giant horse involves climbing a ladder, and craming a bucket of university textbooks into the horses' ass. Midway through this activity, I wake to go pee.

When I am about to pee, I become aware that I am still dreaming. Upon realizing this, I awake to reality, where I am sitting upright, clutching my alarm clock, and facing the closet containing my work clothes.
The entire downtown Littleton just woke up thanks to you!

I've had some fun dreams, such as SEXY and BOOBIES.

Some falling where I have bounced on the bed and then onto the floor, keeping me awake from early in the morn to whenever I fall dead.

Did you shoplift it?

Heh, no.

I was planning on buying it. Weird, odd, scary dream. But Warren topped me, tenfold.
The other night I dreamt myself and two of my friends were standing outside of my house. It seems rather summer-like outside, but they're both wearing huge amounts of winter clothing, but don't seem particularly warm. It's 11:30 at night, but the Sun still hasn't gone down. We seemed to have done something to stop the Earth and were arguing over who did what and how we could get the Earth moving again.

Jay and Silent Bob were being pursued by a Satanic cult which they had accidentally uncovered in their apartment building. They had found a chopped-up body submerged in a full bathtub.

You know, that's not too far off from something Smith might write..
My all-time favorite fucked-up dream happened 2 years ago, and to this day, it is the only dream that I can remember all of the details to.

It started out with me walking into a trailer park in my hometown. There is a bowling alley in the middle of this trailer park, and I felt like taking out some pins. Outside, the alley was designed like one of those bizarre 50's drive in restaurants, real crazy, and with a giant neon sign.

Inside, the "bowling alley" was nothing more than a bar with a bowling alley counter and shoes. The place was totally deserted, except for the employees, a couple of my friends.

I went up to talk to them, and they warbled at me like the parents from Peanuts. Then I looked up at the board to order a cheeseburger (?), and noticed that they sold Sega Genesis games, in colorful plasticard displays, that went down in price as the day went on. Every hour, a buck was shaved off of the price until at 7pm, they were free.

At this point I turned around to look out onto the "alley", which had become an actual bowling alley, with a green floor and red pins. Sitting at a table, doing his taxes, was the owner of hte alley: a giant yellow dragon, wearing a clear green visor and a pair of reading glasses. Suddenly, he looked up at me and yells: "Where's my left pencil?"

Then I woke up.
My Most vivid dream... and it was YEARS ago:

I was leading an uprising of slave miners. I hijacked a forklift and helped to sabotage the mine we were all working in. I was frantically helping people out of the mine as it was exploding behind us.

As I ran from the mine the others around me disappear and I found myself on a lone stretch of road that disappeared into the horizon.

The mine had disappeared and the road stretched behind me and disappeared into the horizon as well.
On either side of the road were cornfields as far as the eye could see. They too stretched into the horizon in all directions. Very tall and very dry.
To my left a one story house. The ONLY sign of habitation. A dead twisted tree with a tire-swing hanging from it was in the front yard.

The sky began to turn black, with dark clouds forming the absolute most gigantic tornado that the earth has ever seen, centered perfectly were the road met the horizon. Two tiny twisters began to form along side of it. Both on each side.
Suddenly, with the wind howling around me, Lightning struck the Cornfield to my right and set it ablaze.

Instantly the wind picked up even more and transformed the flames from the cornfield into a magnificent spiral of fire. It was now a tornado of flame.

My P.O.V. switched from time to time to view this from above, all the while aware that I was the person in the middle of the road.

Needles to say I hightailed it to the lone house with the dead tree in its yard. I ran inside to warn the people of the impending doom, and found no one at home. I searched the house and found a couple tied to their bed and gagged. A man peering out of the window blinds turned around startled to see me. I got the feeling that I had caught him red handed at something. He said something to me, and disappeared.

The house began to crumble around me. Realizing I had no choice but to abandon the people tied up to their bed, I head to the basement. Where I find a high school gym sock hop in full effect. I quickly ran out the back doors of the gym to the safety of my neighborhood.

I then woke up.
Whenever I am about to fall ill, I always dream that I am either an ants nest or am covered by ants - externally and internally.

Sometimes my dreams have the guy out of Jacob's Ladder in them - the guy with the hood who shakes his head violently, side to side, on top of a trolley
I had a dream that I captured Saddam Hussain. He was pretty cool to talk to, in my dream. He asked for a cigarette. I reached into my pocket and gave him a "Marlboro Cinnamon". Yep, we both looked at the pack, having no clue what those were, but it turned out to be a good smoke. I figured they were Iraqi Marlboros. After talking to him for a while, I found out how crazy he was. He truly believed we were infidels that preached to the wrong God, but we weren't nearly as bad as Italy and Greece because they still worshiped Zeus, Hera, and Apollo.

Don't know... It was fucked up.
The sky was orange with tinges of white of shapeless clouds hovering above me. I'd like to think it was quiet but there was the commotion of fanfare down in the field I was overlooking. In this field, my cousin, was getting married to a guy I consider a great friend and definitely worthy of her company.

So, I walk down to the field unnoticed. I take in the people there crowding around the new bride and groom as they begin cutting the cake immediately after their vows.

I look at the groom and he sees me. He comes over to me and I ask him to go for a walk. We go back up to the hill where I first appeared. He talks about his plans, going on the honeymoon, how he'd like to raise a family to continue his business after he's long gone. They're into wine making. I say that's all well and good. Though your best intentions won't save either of you from the impending misery to follow. I show him glimpses of the future with my gameboy advance sp. Images of drunkeness. Bratty whiny kids. My cousin slashing her wrists repeatedly as she regrets the career in medicine she's persuing.

The groom laughs saying this is all some kind of sham. I tell him no, it's not. Why would I be here. I point to a structure on the other side of the hill. It's made out of giant lego blocks. He asks me what it is. I tell him its a way out. To bypass the misery. We walk towards it. I tell him to walk inside the structure. He hesistates and asks what it does. I tell him that this will end everything. That it will all be for the best. He steps into the giant box like lego thing. I start closing the door and he begins crying asking for me to see if the gameboy is wrong. I tell him it isn't. It never has been wrong.

I close the door to the structure. A light shines down upon him from above. The sound of a storm erupts from the lego box. I look in through the see through window to see what's happening. He's pounding on the doors begging for it to end. I say soon.

His skin starts boiling. The screaming becomes just awful and intense. The boiling becomes flame. His remains crumple to the ground. Then a loud beep sounds from the lego box. It's then that I realize that the lego box was a microwave. I begin to walk away when I see the whole wedding party on the hill in shock. They all rush towards me with violent intentions. I crouch down into the fetal position expecting a world of hurt. Only to have my wife, now sporting blond hair, grabbing my hand lifting me up. The band starts playing some celtic music and we do some kind of square dance in the green fields.

After that. I woke up.
Dreamt that I was going to see Ozzy Osbourne, who was touring with Ween as his backup band! There was more to it, too--they were doing a rock opera based on...what? I can't remember. Seems like it had to do with commercial jingles or something. But in my mind, I was thinking "well, they'll probably do a Ween song and a couple Ozzy/Sabbath songs for an encore."
So I get the call from the Sony honchos that Vin Diesel is being too difficult, "moreso than usual", so they ask me to step up into the role for <strong>xXx 2</strong>.

I'm inside the studio's office building for a wardrobe fitting on the 20th floor, when Vin comes charging up past the guards and into the fitting room, pushing me and kicking and screaming, "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!". I'm taking a lot of the hits, blocking some, and finally I'm kneeling down on the floor yelling, "What the fuck?" as he bombards me with Deniro kicks.

He stops the assault for a sec, then says in his drawl, "The next one, something's gonna break...". And he steps back, and puts all his weight into the next downward kick, which I intercept, and push him up off me and right out the 20th floor window.

As he's falling down in xXx slomo (in a squatting position), Drowning Pool's "Let the bodies hit the floor..." song plays full blast on the soundtrack, as he crashes ass first into the cab of a semi on the ground (ala Gary Busey in The Drop Zone).

There was a subplot dealing with Christian Slater's suicide and Lori Laughlin's depression as result of it, but that never came to fruition.
I've been having a huge rash of strange dreams lately.
Last night I dreamed that it was an episode of Full House where Uncle Jessie walks into D.J's room where D.J was secretly getting ready for a porm date but noone else in the family knew she was going. She was putting like makeup powder on her leg or something and she was dressed in some fancy red dress.
Anyways her boyfriend walks in with his posse. They are Scottish punks with spiked hair and tartan outfits etc. And they are playing a snare drum to some Scottish tune or something (I don't remember if they are playing bagpipes or not) anyways Bob Saget comes in the room to "rescue his daughter" and the him and the punk boy start having this weird tug of war on stair banisters. (the room has two banisters one on each side of the room) and Saget rips off the banister on his side of the room and the punk does the same on his side. And I think each time the banister is ripped off a different style of banister appears.
Full House fucking rocks. I want that dream.
I had another one last night. Most of it is pretty fuzzy, but I remember the basic plotline.

Basically, the US was at war with a group of viking demons who were disguised as humans. The vikings were holed up in a magically shielded port somewhere in Florida, and the US was trying desperately, with the help of several different alien races, to destroy the demons.

Enter me, after seeing the news. I wanted to go check out the port where the vikings were, for one reason or another. First I had to cross this huge, dismal crappy swamp, and finally came to a shimmering sphere, hundreds of feet high. I stepped through, and onto an ancient, rickety, stained dock. It was HUGE, and full of viking warriors and their golden longboats.

The viking demon leader approached me, and introduced himself as General Logan (weird, huh?),a 9 foot tall red bearded monster with purple scaled skin and huge wings. After I cowered in fear, he smiled and invited me to the war conference. There, among the vikings, were a handful of different aliens, who had allied with the demons. One of the aliens in particular I remember: it was a spiky thing with a trumpet barrel nose, and reminded me of stained glass. It was orange and yellow and translucent. This race actually had 3 different subraces, one was black and brown and green workers that looked like something from Defenders (the old video game), and the others were living ships, long colorful boxes that were docked next to the longboats.

I signed up for the war effort, and they were ready to ship out. For some reason, just as the vikings pulled out for war, I was paired up with a viking that looked like Anthony Hopkins, dressed up like Mick from "Rocky". Our assignment was to carry one of the longboats into town (which had suddenly appeared, instead of the swamp). So he pulled it around the scummy side of the dock, and we carried it in, slime dripping off of the bottom, into the ghetto.

Immediately, 4 thugs came up to us, dressed like 50's thugs, one of them reminding me of John Cusack wearing a sailor hat and a leather jacket. They started to call us names and push us around, so I called them "fuckers" and "faggots" and suddenly the boat became a HUGE FISH, and I swung it at the leader, who reminded me of the fat thug from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Then a bobby cop came running up, shouting in Spanish, and I flipped off the thugs, picked up the boat, which had become a deflated rubber raft, and we went on our way.

Then the alarm rang, and I woke up.
Just a brief snippet from a larger dream: I go in to a restaurant for breakfast. There's a girl with me, can't identify her. She orders "morons." In my mind, I understood that this was a style of eggs, just like ordering "scrambled" or "over easy."
I dreamed I won an acadamy award for the cinmatography for Aliens.

You dreamt that you were Adrian Biddle?
Nope on the award it said my name. And I was just plain old me.
And at the table waiting for the anouncment or whatever I was sitting with Sigourny Weaver.
Was she bathed in metallic blue, Biddle-esque lighting?
heeh nope.

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