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Poetry....Your favorites, and your own.
Quote:

Originally posted by Avalon
I often wonder how many miss the mark by passing up great lyrics. They're poetry too, but are often dismissed because they carry a tune behind them. Nice choice.


A favorite song of mine:


Shanty
By Jonathan Edwards


Gonna sit down in the kitchen
And fix me something good to eat
And make my head a little high
And make this whole day complete
Cuz we gonna lay around the shanty, mama
And put a good buzz on

Well pass it to me baby
Pass it to me slow
We'll take time out to smile a little
Before we let it go
Cuz we gonna lay around the shanty, mama
And put a good buzz on

Well there ain't nothin' to do
And there's always room for more
Fill it, light it, shut up
And close the door
Cuz we gonna lay around the shanty, mama
And put a good buzz on

We gonna sit around the kitchen
Fix us somethin' good to eat
And make ourselves a little high
And make the whole day complete
Cuz we gonna lay around the shanty, mama
And put a good buzz on
Cuz we gonna lay around the shanty, mama
And put a good buzz on



Reply
Something I got from my ex husband..and yes, we
are on good terms.

Erotic sensations tingle my spine
A dead body lying next to mine
Smooth blue black lips
I start salivating as we kiss
Mine forever this sweet death
I cannot forget your soft breaths
Panting excitedly with my hands around your neck

Shades are drawn
No one can see
What I've done
What's become of me
Here I stand
Above all that's been true
How I love
How I love to kill you
Reply
Quote:

Originally posted by FarinaMystica
Something I got from my ex husband..and yes, we
are on good terms.

Erotic sensations tingle my spine
A dead body lying next to mine
Smooth blue black lips
I start salivating as we kiss
Mine forever this sweet death
I cannot forget your soft breaths
Panting excitedly with my hands around your neck

Shades are drawn
No one can see
What I've done
What's become of me
Here I stand
Above all that's been true
How I love
How I love to kill you



Ah, Slayer....one of my favorite bands.
Reply
Your remains were laid to rest today
your funeral was quite fitting
if only you weren't where you now lay
under the ground where I am sitting.

When we last spoke, you sounded sad
but your request was quite explicit
You remarked that you'd be glad
if I could find the time to visit.

Well, now I'm here and as it seems
I've played the fool for fate
In my heart I'd never dream
that I'd arrive too late.

They laid you down to rest today
and covered you with dirt
and I sit weeping where you lay
consumed with grief, I'm hurt.

When we last met, you smiled at me.
Your smile shown bright like gold
we spoke of how life used to be
before we both grew old

and now I've returned home at last
on this most mournful date
I've come to see you, but alas
I've arrived too late.
Reply
oh my heart! DWC, that was . . . wow . . . is that yours or a song? I dig it regardless . . .




You want me close
than keep me distant
your heart your mind
you don't wanna share
yet still your holding
my hand so very tight
the bruises become comfort
whose strength feeds the fire
that burns between us both
don't make me any promises
that'll tumble away like fragile glass
i wanna have faith in your honor
even when my own's at stake
i'm still sporting black and blue
I hope you still bleed red
Reply
Quote:

Originally posted by Ripley
oh my heart! DWC, that was . . . wow . . . is that yours or a song? I dig it regardless . . .

It's mine...I'm glad you liked it.



Quote:

Originally posted by Ripley
You want me close
than keep me distant
your heart your mind
you don't wanna share
yet still your holding
my hand so very tight
the bruises become comfort
whose strength feeds the fire
that burns between us both
don't make me any promises
that'll tumble away like fragile glass
i wanna have faith in your honor
even when my own's at stake
i'm still sporting black and blue
I hope you still bleed red


This is great: "I'm still sporting black and blue
I hope you still bleed red."
I have lived these very words.
Reply
With this poem I am published! At last...

distance

every day i lose sight of a memory
i swore i'd not forget.
everyday a cherished moment
is transfigured by regret.
a thousand days of healing
yet i long for that first hour of pain,
just a day's walk from joy,
but distance proves a crippling sprain.
somehow…
all that red, red shouting for just
a little blue silence
gives the victim admiration for the
inflictor of the violence.
yet every day i forgive
all of your heart-felt crimes,
in this blue, blue distance
from those blissful red times.
through the ignorance and everything,
the dreams and the fights,
it still was happy for a while,
until that first hour of pain, those nights…
when sleep felt like a sentence
to wake again at odds with the day
and stand on trial with great repentance
but void of hope for pardon or stay;
when time ran slowly,
like the hours on the cross must have run,
tick-tocking, every dripping drop of blood
just another race to run…
but the scenery passes like scenery,
and we must not linger here
for we are never just a day's walk from joy.
Reply
Quote:

Originally posted by HeavyMetalThunder
With this poem I am published! At last...

distance

every day i lose sight of a memory
i swore i'd not forget.
everyday a cherished moment
is transfigured by regret.
a thousand days of healing
yet i long for that first hour of pain,
just a day's walk from joy,
but distance proves a crippling sprain.
somehow…
all that red, red shouting for just
a little blue silence
gives the victim admiration for the
inflictor of the violence.
yet every day i forgive
all of your heart-felt crimes,
in this blue, blue distance
from those blissful red times.
through the ignorance and everything,
the dreams and the fights,
it still was happy for a while,
until that first hour of pain, those nights…
when sleep felt like a sentence
to wake again at odds with the day
and stand on trial with great repentance
but void of hope for pardon or stay;
when time ran slowly,
like the hours on the cross must have run,
tick-tocking, every dripping drop of blood
just another race to run…
but the scenery passes like scenery,
and we must not linger here
for we are never just a day's walk from joy.



Congratulations! With talent like yours, I knew it was only a matter of time....Wonderful poem....
Reply
It's been a whole year since I started this thread. I never would've thought that a year later it would still be going on. I just want to thank all of you that have taken the time to post your poetry here. You have no idea how much this means to me. You all make me proud. Thank you so much...
Reply
Quote:

Originally posted by Dances with Chainsaws
It's been a whole year since I started this thread. I never would've thought that a year later it would still be going on. I just want to thank all of you that have taken the time to post your poetry here. You have no idea how much this means to me. You all make me proud. Thank you so much...

I think it's cool that you started this and, though I'm
still technically a newbie (or am I?), it was one of the
first posts I felt really comfortable participating in.

So thank you very much for letting some of us
chewers find our niche here.
Reply
Quote:

Originally posted by Avalon
I often wonder how many miss the mark by passing up great lyrics. They're poetry too, but are often dismissed because they carry a tune behind them. Nice choice.

Huh, usually I find people OVERRATE lyrics as poetry.

Most lyrics are just too clunky and ham-handed to really be considered as good poetry, but most people seem to think that they are. I find that there are very few writers who are able to transcend the crutches of verse/chorus/verse and musical backing to write something truly amazing.
Reply
In the twinkle of an eye
love closes around me
when I try to ask why
in the pose of merry prose
your falling heart
tries to bind me
A salty tear trails the path
and my eyes close softly
Your intent is strong, steady
whereas I am not ready
for the love you want
to show me.
Reply
Quote:

Originally posted by Chavez
Huh, usually I find people OVERRATE lyrics as poetry.

Most lyrics are just too clunky and ham-handed to really be considered as good poetry, but most people seem to think that they are. I find that there are very few writers who are able to transcend the crutches of verse/chorus/verse and musical backing to write something truly amazing.


Trina wears her wampum beads
She fills her drawing book with line
Sewing lace on widows' weeds
And filigree on leaf and vine
Vine and leaf are filigree
And her coat's a secondhand one
Trimmed with antique luxury
She is a lady of the canyon

Annie sits you down to eat
She always makes you welcome in
Cats and babies 'round her feet
And all are fat and none are thin
None are thin and all are fat
She may bake some brownies today
Saying you are welcome back
She is another canyon lady

Estrella circus girl
Comes wrapped in songs and gypsy shawls
Songs like tiny hammers hurled
At beveled mirrors in empty halls
Empty halls and beveled mirrors
Sailing seas and climbing banyans
Come out for a visit here
To be a lady of the canyon

Trina takes her paints and her threads
And she weaves a pattern all her own
Annie bakes her cakes and her breads
And she gathers flowers for her home
For her home she gathers flowers
And Estrella dear companion
Colors up the sunshine hours
Pouring music down the canyon
Coloring the sunshine hours
They are the ladies of the canyon


She shoots. She scooooores! Well, for me, anyway.

Farina, welcome to the fray! Nice additions!

Keep it going, Ripley! Swykk...more please!

HMT, Congratulations! "distance" is fantastic! We knew it was just a matter of time.

You have no idea how much this means to me.

Oh, yes we do. I liked "Shanty". It reminded me a little of that taco poem.
Reply
Abandoned

To each other we held on tight
amidst the dawning of days light
and with all we had all our might
shed bitter tears we could not fight

final words it seemed you did lack
'I'll see you baby when I get back"
then carried your life away in a sack
and the sting came on like a smack

You left me your words in a card
I guess to my face it was just to hard
but to me they matched that of a bard
clearing away heart tissue much scarred

Then why have you abandoned me
left me drifting on an endless sea
with no recourse but to beg and plead
for you to send some word to thee
Reply
Untitled, undated, no idea why I wrote it but judging by the handwriting I was a tad sloshed...

My fears of imminent emasculation
And death in my belly give lie to regrets
Of dear friends and family left behind
Fall before the plaintive cry
"Corazon, Corazon, I hope I leave enough
For you to get by."



Reply
Hey, I dig it! I think it's a great poem. It's short and flows, and makes cool use of Spanish.
Reply
Twixt
for Sivvy

Hold a silver mirror
to still and shining water
and look between them;
surface,
depth,
expanse.
It's all there
Hold the mirror to the lake
and live between them;
stand,
dive,
fly.
What ripples on the water
is straight upon the glass.
Go between them.
look,
see,
know.
Hold a silver mirror
to still and shining water
and believe.
Reply
HMT That is a very interesting poem. I like it. Though I can't put my finger on what about it I really dig. I'll have to try writing something in that particular form that you used.

It roughly is like four Haikus each seperated with three words the first are nowns the rest are verbs

And the last Haiku is a repeat of the first, somewhat.

Right now I am working on writing a poem in the Sestina form. The form is kind of hard to decribe, it involves six sestets and a final three line stanza. Each line must always end in one of six different words.

In the meantime here is something I wrote recently.

(untitled)

The camel lay
hurt on the ground,
owner distressing
over the beast.

The man stroked the
poor creature’s head,
while wondering
about his mistake.

He was just
being thorough
including that
last hay piece

into it’s load.
The heft of which
he did slightly
underestimate .

To tell the truth
that final straw
was enormous.
Reply
Quote:

Originally posted by Sleeplesslumber
HMT That is a very interesting poem. I like it. Though I can't put my finger on what about it I really dig. I'll have to try writing something in that particular form that you used.

It roughly is like four Haikus each seperated with three words the first are nowns the rest are verbs

And the last Haiku is a repeat of the first, somewhat.

Right now I am working on writing a poem in the Sestina form. The form is kind of hard to decribe, it involves six sestets and a final three line stanza. Each line must always end in one of six different words.

In the meantime here is something I wrote recently.

(untitled)

The camel lay
hurt on the ground,
owner distressing
over the beast.

The man stroked the
poor creature’s head,
while wondering
about his mistake.

He was just
being thorough
including that
last hay piece

into it’s load.
The heft of which
he did slightly
underestimate .

To tell the truth
that final straw
was enormous.


WOW. this poem is great! I had no idea what was coming. At first, I have to admit i thought, "Oh boy, a poem about a hurt camel...where's this going?"

Man, did I ever get owned.
That poem takes an tired cliche and turns it into a really, touching, relevent story.

Wow.
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HMT, that truely is a fabulous work of prose. My favorite kind, the one's that tell you a story and leave much up to the readers imagination . . .

Chavez, I like it sloshed or not, it is very moving, i've read it a couple of times. . .

Avalon, i have not seen much new from you, can't wait to read something . . .

SEMPER FI y'all!

Spare me your pity
how about some time?
my hourglass broke yesterday

No you do not understand
why would you?
understanding even evades me

Please don't give me advice
didn't you order?
i had advice with my grain of salt

So you've walked in my shoes
and they fit?
i prefer to walk barefoot

Home is where the heart is
what is your address?
my teepee burned long ago
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Just to clarify...

Prose: Ordinary speech or writing, without metrical structure.

Poetry: A piece of literature written in meter; verse.

Of course there's a little more to it, but that's nutshell.
Reply
My triumphant return bitches!

Well not really. But here ya go:

The Getaway

She snaked in
smile sliding
sideways
making my smile
fall

Oh I am shaking
I am shaking
I can't stop from fading.

She flexes
hands
fighting back
from knowing
everything.

Oh I am fading
I am fading
I can't stop from shaking.

She slides past
demolishing my soul
without sound.
A whisper

Jesus
Can't here you scream
he's only
on the sliver screen.
Reply
This one got published in <sad to admit>, poetry.com's yearly book.


-unrated-

this camera's recording everything I see
filming it all through me
I touch you but it's not me at all
the color gets faded on my lenses
and I can't cut the pointless scenes out
all that I feel is real/reel
but the credits will never roll
"this could take awhile to wrap"
my masterpiece-
the film that never ends
more times than not
I'm stuck watching myself
filtered in black and white
can't hit stop or shut the tape off
it records the footage for a final cut
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Pedometer

We need fresh air
so we jog behind
a garbage truck

at 9 AM.

My legs hit the ground
slapping a sound
too hollow to be

mine.

Your steps are soft
and almost smarmy
in their piercing

delicacy.

I consider hating your
long fluid stride,
your soft polite

smile.

We turn a corner
where an ambulance
flashes outside your

house.

Why can't I look when
they wheel out
your grandmother

shrouded?
Reply
I like Pedometer, Smirk.
Nice twist, and cool line breaks. They gave me the feeling of trying to talk while running.

Here's a pretty cheesy silly one from me. I just wanted to write a kind of beat/rhyme poem. Just to see. It's basically the first thing I came up with. It's cheesy, so get a glass of wine. Or chips.

Heart Beat Poem

It all starts with hearts
one from two parts
you and me and yours and mine
the line is fine
fine and thin and red like a kiss
your kiss, it's bliss, this kiss
holding you close, lips to lips
my hands to your hips
Heart beats faster, blood runs quick
hands are slick from sighs and smiles
and my mind is miles and miles ahead
in life
in love
in bed
with you, with you, and me just
amazed and dazed, crazed with love
and sex and love and you, so true
so true
forever, for that moment in time
no reason and all rhyme, metered
on steady beats of our hearts
one from two parts
steady, steady
slow, slow, slow, and know it's true
I'm so true
my heart beats for you
wild, styled crazy music
one, two
one, two
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I'm never really satified when I try to write a haiku, I feel like I never have quite enough room to get across what I want to. So here is a type of short poem that is like a haiku but a little longer. It is called a Tanka and the number of syllables is thus:

5
7
5
7
7

The toddler watches
a bottlebrush rust tailed cat
stalk a trembling mouse
and interrupts the cruel game,
hiding the prey with a bowl.

And here is the sestina I was writing. I'm not entirely happy with it yet, It doesn't flow the way I think it should and I need to cut out at least three syllables out of the last two ending lines.

Hero

Into the village stumbled a man,
his armor glinting in the sun,
wounded by the bite of a beast, hope
for him was lost. He dropped his sword
and died, near the baker girl, Shine,
the best friend of a tinker boy.

Out from the shop ran the boy
seeing Shine over the dead man,
seeing the dragon above Shine,
it’s wings blocking out the sun.
It saw her with the gleaming sword
and dove, taking her away against hope.

But there was still some hope
glimmering in the tinker boy.
He dashed over to where the sword
lay covered in dust, by the man,
and took it, lifting it to the sun.
Then the boy hero was off, after Shine.

Running under the day’s sunshine
through the old woods, full of hope.
Time passed under the fading sun.
Night fell over the exhausted boy
on the trail of the dead Man.
Dragging, at his hip, the piercing sword.

Darkness had enveloped the last sword
shaped ray of light when Shine
screamed. Causing bones of ancient man
to rattle out in the darkness for hope.
Pursuing the noise, the tinker boy
found the maw of a cave, hot as the sun.

He plunged into the cavern of the sun,
arms alight with the glistening sword.
The dragon was there waiting. As the boy
ran in out came a blast of fire shine,
searing hot enough to melt hope
but the boy had thrown the sword of the man.

Though the fires of the sun did shine
The sword hit the Wurm’s heart amid deadly hope
And with the baker girl, the tinker Boy left as a man.
Reply
I like the story in Hero, but I don't knw how the Sestina form works, so it was a little confusing in terms of rhythm (I couldn't find one) and the rhyme scheme.
Care to explain?
Good stuff, though. The Tanka is great too.
Reply
The reason why I am dissatified by my poem Hero is because there is no real rhythm in it. I am still in the prosses of trying ot find one hidden somewhere in it and making it more pronouced.

A sestina is a seven stanza poem, the first six stanzas comprising six lines each, while the seventh is only three lines. The lines can be anmywhere from 5 to 20 syllables each but they have to be regular, so if the first line is, say, fifteen syllables than all the other lines have to be fifteen too. This is one of the reason's why it is hard to find a rhythm in the one I wrote; I fluctuated between seven through ten syllables per line. I still need to make it more regular.

There is no rhyme scheme in a sestina because the ending words of each line in the first stanza have to be the ending words in all the stanzas.

For example the ending words in my first stanza are Man, sun, hope, sword, shine, boy. I assign a letter to represent them to make this easier.

a = man
b = sun
c = hope
d = sword
e = shine
f = boy

Here is how the ending words must be arranged in a sestina:

1st stanza
a
b
c
d
e
f

2nd stanza
f
a
e
b
d
c

3rd stanza
c
f
d
a
b
e

4th stanza
e
c
b
f
a
d

5th stanza
d
e
a
c
f
b

6th stanza
b
d
f
e
c
a

In the last three line stanza one of the end words is buried in each line and one concludes each line. The pattern is this:

be
dc
fa

In my poem that would be:
sun shine
sword hope
boy man

I hope I explained it well because it is rather complicated.
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It is, but I got it. Thanks!
Reply
Sorry, woman. It just ain't happening for me. Please continue with yours though.

Welcome back, Smirk. Bitch.

Congrats, Swykk. Published is published..no matter where. Always good to hear the poets are getting recognition. 'specially when they're our own.

Hero was very good, Sleepless. Thanks for explaining the process behind it.

I was most taken by Twixt, Pedometer and Heart Beat Poem.

Nice work, everyone.
Reply
glad you liked 'em!
Reply
One Heart

Look at the birds. Even flying
is born

out of nothing. The first sky
is inside you, friend, open

at either end of day.
The work of wings

was always freedom, fastening
one heart to every falling thing.


Li-Young Lee
Reply
i count you as the greatest
mistake of my life.
from this moment on
we are enemies,
and if i am ever
unfortunate enough
to see you again,
i will treat
you as such.
Reply
There is so much I can say about how I wrote this poem but I think it doesn't need me to say anthing more.

The Splendor of Tears

Do not believe in
perfect dreams,
for once you leave
life’s glowing beauty
you discover that
happiness lies in
in imperfections
and hard emotions.

For desire
is never sated
and to feed it
with money
instead of just
hope, will
overwhelm the
wonderful person
that you should be.

So treasure
the melancholy
moments, for it
is then when you
are the most beautiful.
Your sadness shows
how much you love.
Reply
Quote:

Originally posted by Dances with Chainsaws
i count you as the greatest
mistake of my life.
from this moment on
we are enemies,
and if i am ever
unfortunate enough
to see you again,
i will treat
you as such.


DWC, I coulds feel wrath, pain, betrayal, anger, saddness, dessimation in your words . . . good job . . . or I'm over-emotional today!!!!


Huntress
Across the smoky bar room floor
I gifted you a long hard glance
returned to me with steel blue eyes
you had been in my sights once before
but I do not always hunt

smiling you came over and said hello
you wore rough exterior camouflage
matching my own tough girl wear
I caught your scent as you drew near
but I do not always hunt

fashionable attraction between us
cemented by conversation and cocktails
breath on breath we drew ever closer
tasting intellect and aspirations
but I do not always hunt

battle armor we quickly compared
trying to build a distance between
“bad news” and “trouble” forged
rapidly scorching us both with fire
but I do not always hunt

comfortable revelations came to light
your hunting skills outmatch my own
snared in a fatal trap neither could see
time will not allow me to flee my fate
how did I become prey?
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