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Pre-Release ALFIE discussion thread
Well, damned if I can't intellectualize this at all... I saw the new ALFIE tonight. I had been hoping to take a gander at the old one first, particularly because I love Michael Caine and it was smack dab in the middle of one of the greatest runs any lead actor has ever had (GET CARTER, IPCRESS FILES, SLEUTH, etc.).

So I was going into this fresh, with the knowledge only that it had been moved around in the schedule A LOT and it's writer-director, Charles Shyer (FATHER OF THE BRIDE, I LOVE TROUBLE, THE AFFAIR OF THE NECKLACE) is known for being something of a medium range hack.

And then... ALFIE made sweet, sweet love to me.

My, my, my... that Jude Law, what a beautiful man... I don;t think any actor has ever made love to the camera like Law does in ALFIE, which should be his signature role. Now, of course, barring a viewing of the original, this may be blasphemy, but damned if Law doesn't make every soul in the audience, straight, gay or otherwise, swoon within the first five minutes of the movie.

He spends the entire time speaking to the audience, essentially, one of many signs that this isn't going to be your garden variety studio remake. It's one thing to break the fourth wall, and it's another thing, which I imagine the original British film does, to annihilate it. He NEVER stops talking to the camera. Why? Because he's seducing it. The audience I saw this movie with could feel how much of a self-serving, dirty prick and yet the women still had to wring out their panties at the five minute mark.

And the women... oh lord, the women in this movie... none of them will ever look this sexy, the only downside to seeing them parade themselves in front of poor, sexy Alfie. There's Marisa Tomei, who looks hella sexy as a single mom, possibly the dowdiest of Alfie's ladies. There's Jane Krakowski of ALLY MCBEAL, who is hotter than the sun in this movie. There's Nia Long, who apparently has added some curves since the last time I've seen her in anything. Susan Sarandon shows up as well as an animalistic she-Alfie who wolfs down every male in her path, and she hasn't been this hot since ATLANTIC CITY and THE HUNGER. And then there's Sienna Miller, who, at one point, traipses around Alfie's apartment wearing only a thong, making breakfast as her supple breasts jiggle. I must've sprung a boner that ripped through the space time continuum, because by the time my penis came back to it's regular size, it was wearing dinosaur skin.

A pretty reliable supporting cast is aboard this film as well. Omar Epps has never really had anything this meaty to work with, and he really makes an impression in a role that could have been easily forgettable. Even Long Duk Dong himself, Geddy Watanabe emerges from nowheresville to deliver a pretty solid comic turn that only somewhat veers into caricature. And Graydon Carter, the editor of Vanity Fair and a non-actor, even shows up in a supporting role as a wise old man that while automatically a cliche, provides some touching, non-maudlin moments.

The writing and pacing of ALFIE is still somewhat iffy, as most studio films, and the overbearing presence of Rolling Stones songs during every melodramatic beat is distracting, suggesting that ALFIE isn't really a GREAT film, per se. But man, it is HAWT, and Jude Law is A STAR. This is the sexiest movie to be released all year, and while the kiddies are packing into THE INCREDIBLES in two weeks, take a sexy partner to see ALFIE.

Oh, and I saw THE GRUDGE too today. It was good, as good as if not better than JU-ON: THE GRUDGE.

So anyway, has anyone seen the orignial ALFIE or is familiar with the play? Can they fill me in?
I saw it last week, and just wanted to chime in and say that the music in the film, largely by Mick Jagger and Dave Stewart (formerly of the Eurythmics) is great. Instead of trying to replicate the swinging jazz sounds of the original, they go for a London soul, and it works like gangbusters.

And, without ruining anything (I hope), ignore the ads that are trying to sell this as a romantic comedy between Tomei and Law. The movie is very true to the spirit of the original.

Originally Posted by fabfunk

I must've sprung a boner that ripped through the space time continuum, because by the time my penis came back to it's regular size, it was wearing dinosaur skin.

Alfie is the #1 movie in America!

See what the critics are saying!

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