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Wat's On My Living Room Floor (?) Discussion
#1
By Sean Fahey

http://chud.com/stories/2686
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#2
This is only the second Chudstory I've ever read. Damn good stuff...It broke the monotony of finals and gave me quite a few good nerd chuckles. Top-notch stuff, Fahey.

Mild suggestion: A little more proofreading, as the typos (particularly the "breaks"Wink pull one out of the story a bit.
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#3
Fahey, you diabolical...

Great stuff, MF.
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#4
Quote:

Originally Posted by The LD

This is only the second Chudstory I've ever read. Damn good stuff...It broke the monotony of finals and gave me quite a few good nerd chuckles. Top-notch stuff, Fahey.

Mild suggestion: A little more proofreading, as the typos (particularly the "breaks"Wink pull one out of the story a bit.

Thanks.

To the editor's defense - Kirby asked me specifically to clean up the grammar. I tried. Nick can attest to the fact that I suck with grammar. Glad you liked the story though.
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#5
Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Sean Sparrow

Thanks.

Nick can attest to the fact that I suck a mean dick.

Attested.
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#6
That's a damn dirty trick!

Good story Sean, nice work.
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#7
Very nice. Original, entertaining, and it flowed pretty well. Thanks for the enjoyable read.
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#8
Fucking pussy. You let him live.
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#9
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata

Attested. I like young boys.

Wait a second, wat?
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#10
Very fun read. The world needs more stories like this.

Although Wat gets all of the attention, he's just a patsy, a stooge, a gunsel. The real mastermind behind it all is the diabolical Nien Nunb.
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#11
That was a good read, funny, unexpected and it flowed in a nice esy to read way.

Good stuff dude.
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#12
Great story. Don't let the literary Nazi's give you shit for the staccato sentence style, I thought it was very effective.


Great story.
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#13
Hands down the best story about Wat Tambor EVER.
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#14
That was a great story. I had no idea who Wat Tambor was before today, but now I'm fully informed.
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#15
That's the best damn short story I've read since "The Snows of Kilimanjaro." Nice work, amigo.
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#16
OK, criticism time. I thought it was a great play on geek preoccupations, it was metatextual, ironic, you know, all that, but keeping it seemingly effortless, light and always funny. Great stuff.
But ending with a quote from blade runner - essentially lifting the ending from blade runner - seemed to undermine that, and suggested that all that riffing on geekisms only stemmed from having a limited frame of reference.
It seemed that you were using the fictional character entering the real world to put the real-world drama (death of a lover) into a fresh and interesting light. It relied on this interplay between real world and filmgeek world. But having the ending merely be a quote from another film undermined that sense of real world, collapsing it back into the filmgeek world of make-believe - and reducing the story into nothing but a clever series of references.

True? Not true? Did i miss something? Would he author like to comment?
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#17
That story was 10 tons of awesome. And the grammar fit the character perfectly.
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#18
I thought it was IG-8Great.
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#19
First Chudstory I've read so far. I was drawn for obvious reasons. (check the Wat thread for evidence)
Great read....
Thanks for the new signature!
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#20
Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew Clarke

But having the ending merely be a quote from another film undermined that sense of real world, collapsing it back into the filmgeek world of make-believe - and reducing the story into nothing but a clever series of references.

It was a story (in my modest opinion) about a Sci-Fi movie geek whose objects (one, in this case) of desire manifest themselves into an intimate part of his psychosis, along with a healthy dose of drugs. Between the drugs and the narrator's fixation with Sci-Fi characters, no matter how obscure, becoming the basis of his coping with the harsh truth of reality, I thought the Bladerunner quote very relevant.

Damn, that was cryptic of me.
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#21
Very nice. It could've used a dash of Darth Maul though, for spice. But just a dash.
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#22
Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew Clarke

OK, criticism time. I thought it was a great play on geek preoccupations, it was metatextual, ironic, you know, all that, but keeping it seemingly effortless, light and always funny. Great stuff.
But ending with a quote from blade runner - essentially lifting the ending from blade runner - seemed to undermine that, and suggested that all that riffing on geekisms only stemmed from having a limited frame of reference.
It seemed that you were using the fictional character entering the real world to put the real-world drama (death of a lover) into a fresh and interesting light. It relied on this interplay between real world and filmgeek world. But having the ending merely be a quote from another film undermined that sense of real world, collapsing it back into the filmgeek world of make-believe - and reducing the story into nothing but a clever series of references.

True? Not true? Did i miss something? Would he author like to comment?

I'm hesitant to say what the story means to me. In this instance, this is one of those pieces that's truly designed for the reader to take what they want from it. If you want it to be a big drug trip - cool. A physical manifestation of his pain that he's tried to bury - cool. Is Wat really there? Is it just all in his mind? Is just part of it in his mind?

I will say that I love the Blade Runner ending, it's my favorite part of the story. I'll also say that there are about twenty other Blade Runner references throughout the story - from the first paragraph to the last - and that this is very intentional.
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#23
Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Sean Sparrow

Is Wat really there? Is it just all in his mind? Is just part of it in his mind?

Of course he was there. The guy was torturing a 6 inch action figure (with a little embellishing to boot). That's what was great about it. Initially, I saw Wat's full-sized corpse on the floor, and once he started torturning him and recounted the story about his fiance, it clicked. It was great.
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#24
Good story, Sean. It's actually kind of sad at the end, which was surprising, but you pulled it off. Your dialogue is great too. It's very matter of fact. Here's my favorite bit: “I blamed you for something that wasn’t your fault….I…Look Wat, I’m going to go over to Rachael’s. There’s some stuff I need to tell her. You’re free to hangout. Watch some TV. Play some X-Box. Fix a sandwich. Whatever. There’s still some Pad Thai left. Just throw it in the microwave for 30 seconds.” It's great, cause that's the way people really talk. Not incredibly long, eloquent sentences, just short and to the point. I also like how you refer to him as 'the Tambor'.
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#25
Quote:

Originally Posted by bodgren

I also like how you refer to him as 'the Tambor'.

That's because,

**Christopher Lambert voice**
"There can be only, WAT!"
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