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Tired Shit
#1
...I hear at the office:

1) Mocking the way chinese restaurant workers talk.
2) Conversation about the weather as if it were the most important thing in the news.
3) "Yeah, something's going around" (always said whenever anyone calls out sick)

To be continued...
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#2
Quote:

Originally Posted by BobClark

...I hear at the office:

1) Mocking the way chinese restaurant workers talk.

They can't pronounce words with the letter L correctly...good stuff!!
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#3
And what am I eating? I bet it's cat! Guffaw!
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#4
Hey you hear about that MSG?
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#5
4) "We've never done it that way before." Translation: "My career is going nowhere."
5) "You'd better take it up with ..." Translation: "I don't have the balls to make a decision. See example 4."
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#6
Dude, if you posted this monday, you would have totally gotten a case of the mondays.

But, I'm gonna get my ass kicked for saying something like that...
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#7
Quote:

Originally Posted by FrankCobretti

4) "We've never done it that way before." Translation: "Be gentle. I usually only use it as an exit."

Nice.
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#8
People who quote OFFICE SPACE while at the office destroy my brainmeats.
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#9
Downer...
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#10
6) "Well,I don't really know how to do that..." = "...and I don't wanna learn 'cause I'm a lazy bastard"
7) "Hey, I know you're busy and all but..." = "I have no respect for your work load and I want you to drop everything you're doing and do this for me right now"

These may not be totally fitting in with the tone of the thread but I had to vent. LOL

oh well then there's this...

8) "I'm Rick James, bitch!" (not just for college douchebags - grown "professional" adults still throw this one around)

and I swear I still hear "Whew...TGIF!" EVERY FUCKING FRIDAY
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#11
At my job it's: You go girl!

Or variations on that theme:

You go Bob!
You go Dan!
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#12
we get
"look at me, look at me"
around the office which is the Australian equivelant of the Rick James Bitch line...something that has yet to infect us with its viral ways.
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#13
I have mastered the art of sounding interested on the phone whilst not being in the least bit interested at all.

It was a long and arduous apprenticeship, but I got there in the end.
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#14
9) "Let's talk about that later" = "I will do my level best to avoid talking about that ever again, and if it happens to come up in conversation again I'll suggest we talk about it later"
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#15
I'd like to propose that the rampant overuse of the word 'giddy' be stopped now. Yes, cute. Stop it.
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#16
"That's outside the scope the project" is equivalent to "Yeah, it needs to be done, but I'm not going to do it".

And my least favorite phrase that is used CONSTANTLY in my office "Try to think outside the box".
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#17
I'm really sick of hearing things like, "Brad, you're making the rest of us uncomfortable." or "Brad, please put your pants back on." or "Brad, you're fired."

Really tired of that.
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#18
"Its not part of my job" is one i really hate.
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#19
Quote:

Originally Posted by kittyinjammies

"Try to think outside the box".

An adjuration whose response almost always elicits 4 & 5.
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#20
"You reek."

"Stop staring!"

"Jesus, he's crying again."


My co-workers are mean.
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#21
Quote:

Originally Posted by BobClark

2) Conversation about the weather as if it were the most important thing in the news.

Do you live in an area with a large farming community?
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#22
Hey! This thread is great! Now I don't have to buy the paper every morning to get my "Dilbert" fix!
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#23
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ken Savage

"Its not part of my job" is one i really hate.

I think "That's not my job" or "That's not part of my job" are universal whether your a jizz-mopper or a CEO.

Every meeting at work always end with the same line "Any questions"? Nobody raises their hand, but everbody spends the rest of the day bitching about what they should have said:

"I was gonna ask..."
"I should a asked..."
"I don't understand..."
"Why are we...."
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#24
Agreed but it still bugs the shit out of me
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#25
Quote:

Originally Posted by Werbal_Kint

Hey! This thread is great! Now I don't have to buy the paper every morning to get my "Dilbert" fix!

4) Hanging Dilbert cartoons in your area with fellow employees' names written in the word balloons.
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#26
One of my co-workers likes to laugh really loud when he's reading Fark in the morning. He does this so people will come over and ask what he's laughing at, so he can then go down the very hilarious list of wacky news items that site has to offer. His bait works every time on the same handful of people. I make sure that I go out of my way to dot he opposite. When he lets out that fake, louder-than-normal laugh, I walk off to get a refill of coffee, timing it so he will know I'm doing it on cue. Of course he doesn't get the hint.
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#27
A co-worker on Gwen Stefani-
"I used to like her before. Now she's got all those chinese girls following her. I'm not racist, but that's just weird."
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#28
Quick! To the "I'm not racist, but..." thread so we can go full circle!
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#29
I don't even know what she's talking about. I just know once someone qualifies a statement like that, it's probably offensive.
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#30
I find it surprising that she didn't stop liking her because she sucks now.
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#31
Quote:

Originally Posted by kittyinjammies

And my least favorite phrase that is used CONSTANTLY in my office "Try to think outside the box".

That's kinda funny considering it's probably coming from a exec who has a 1000 sq ft office to someone who works in a 5 sq ft cubicle. Outside of the box? I work in a box, maybe if I shared your office.
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#32
Quote:

Originally Posted by BobClark

I don't even know what she's talking about. I just know once someone qualifies a statement like that, it's probably offensive.

Maybe, maybe not, in this case the offensiveness is debatable, What your co-worker is referring to is the fact that since Stefani has gone solo, she's picked up a harem of 3 non-speaking asian women to follow her everywhere she goes (awards shows, appearances). They just kind of pose behind her, and they dance in the videos. And your co-worker is right, it is kind of wierd.
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#33
Office wedding/baby showers. What a fucking disgrace.
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#34
Quote:

Originally Posted by BobClark

Office wedding/baby showers. What a fucking disgrace.

Probably the best single indicator of "I HAVE NO FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF MY JOB."
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#35
Half the women there (and it's always women) go to every single one just for the party.
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