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Ozymandias Discussion
By Thomas Moore III
Damn good story, with an interesting take on the vampire mythos. Excellent character development, a pleasure to read.
Great story. You have some good details throughout the whole thing. I liked the coffee grinds bit in the beginning. And I did not see the end coming with him pulling a Lecter/Leatherface. Excellent stuff. Also, I liked how he never really seems like he's too stressed out. He obviously doesn't like his situation, but he's never going nuts because of what's happening. Anyway, hope we see more from you. -Ben
Some great phrases throughout, my particular favorite being "sloppy country muscle." I also like the implication that the vampires aren't the top of the foodchain, as our cliches paint them to be.

The slight problem I had with the story is that's all it's about -- it's kind of a vignette, in that there's no direction, just reinforcing the concept that vampires are weaker than the reader's notions usually suggest.

And good choice for a title, I thought.
Great work there guy. A new twist on something old. Ian says it's a vignette, but that's all it has to be. It's a life changing event for the guy, waking him up from his laziness about the weaker humans, sending him in a new direction in his life. The story had what it needed, wrapped up nice and sweet.
This was a pleasure to read. I love being one fo the CHUD Stories "officials" because it gives me first crack at good stuff to read (it's not all good, but at least I don't have to review stuff like Bewitched).

Nice take on vampires, the tone was excellent and the dialog seemed nearly natural given the odd circumstances.
Yes, this was a good one. A pleasure to read. Iandonnell is right about it being a 'vignette' but that's only because the ideas set up - the food chain, the attitude of the vampire and the religous hicks - are interesting enough for a longer piece.

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