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To blaspheme what is holy...
#1
..."Tony Soprano. Husband, father, mob boss, partially psychotic moron. A man who gets what he wants, at any cost. A man both feared and hated, loved and despised, by 30 million Americans who would surely die without him...But even such a man as he will face his nemesis in a place called the Twilight Zone"

*Superman and Lois Lane at a high-end Jersey restaurant. Tony and co. notice (GASP!) the Man of Steel wears...tights and a blue cape. People today- no respect for nuttin!

He walks over. Tells them both to get the @#%$ out. Superman argues. Tony huffs, and puffs. Superman tells him calmly to @#%$ off. Tony (who might benefit from Thorazine) starts beating on the Man of Steel! After about 5 minutes, The Man in Tights has had enough.

He gets up, and sends Tony to the floor. Then, using his foot, he crushes our inteprid hero's arm. Poor Tony just can't stand the agony and passes out.

Tony comes to, throws another psychotic tantrum, and swears vengeance. He's gonna whack that (expletive, bleep bleep bleep)! But try as he might, nothing seems to work.

Assault rifles, rocket grenades, a gang of Jersey's meanest hoods, even kryptonite. "Don't believe everything you read" Superman replies when the exotic mineral fails...

His arm in a cast, his respect all but lost, Tony makes the ultimate sacrifice. A Russian mobster promises to sell Tony a nuclear device in exchange for the exact sum of $1 million...

He sells his property, his business, and contacts the Witness Protection Program. Blinded by hate and devoid of all reason, he believes he can be relocated before the bomb destroys half of NJ and the MOS along with it...

Sadly, he realizes too late the timer is set for 30 minutes and not 30 days. Along with northern NJ, our dearly beloved goes kaput...

And Superman, on vacation in Vegas, survives*

"Tony Soprano. Father, husband, mob boss and dumbass. A partially psychotic idiot driven to commit an act of mass destruction...not for politics, not for religion, not even for 70 virgins, but for sheer stupidity...

Could it be this poster child for mercy killing ruled half of NJ's underworld? Could Thorazine have saved this fat f---?...These questions and more remain unanswered in a place we call...the Twilight Zone..."
#2
Please submit here so we can formally reject you. Thanks!


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