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The School Shooting Thread
#1
Instead of starting a new one for each daily one we can use this.
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#2
Really sad that this has to exist...

The Amish are clearly better shots than the Canadians, though.
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#3
Best CHUD sticky thread ever.
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#4
Six kids, huh? Those fuckers really DO work twice as hard as the rest of us.
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#5
Stolen joke:

JEBEDIAH SPOKE IN

CLASSSSSSSSSS TODAYYYYYY
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#6
A one-room schoolhouse. What next? A rash of suicides among the home-schooled?
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#7
Quote:

Originally Posted by devincf

Stolen joke:

JEBEDIAH SPOKE IN

CLASSSSSSSSSS TODAYYYYYY

Great!

Brother Timothy survived when the bullet bounced harmlessly off his Lincolnbeard.
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#8
In other news, the butter goes unchurned.
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#9
Gallows humor. So great. Yet so uncalled for. Which makes it even greater.
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#10
Short of pre-schoolers rioting and firebombing police stations I think school violence has officially peaked.

(Edited for ouzo related misspelling.)
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#11
I wonder what the anti-blunderbuss lobby will have to say.
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#12
They're gonna throw the John Book at the perp.
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#13
Seriously... counting the hostage situation with the middle-aged dickhat, isn't the Amish school incident the fourth since the school year started?

We're Americans. We can do better than this.

We should be up to ten by October's end, or we may as well disband the country.
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#14
Clearly, the true culprit here is tele--

No, wait, the child probably spent too much time on the inter--

I know! It's those damn video--

Shit! We can't pin this one on modernity!
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#15
Quote:

Originally Posted by Seabass Inna Bun

A one-room schoolhouse. What next? A rash of suicides among the home-schooled?

That would not surprise me, for no other reason than homeschooled kids are weird.

What I find most confusing about all of this is the gun. Where do the Amish get guns? More importantly, WHY would the Amish even NEED guns? Were they worried about the English stealing their butter churns?
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#16
There's actually a strong meth culture among Amish kids. I forget the name of teh documentary that's about how they do rumsprigga (sp?) - they go live in the regular world for a time before deciding to come back. The shooter may very well have been out in the world.
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#17
If he would have tried this at a Catholic School,the guy would have been beaten to death with rulers by the nuns...
I gotta think there is a copycat element in this.
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#18
Yeah, a friend of mine told me about that film (I don't recall the name either, unfortunately).

But meth culture among the Amish? This just gets funnier and funnier.

"Yo, Hezekiah! You got any crank?"
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#19
Rumspringa. Devil's Playground.

I imagine Amish hunt and drive vermin and predators off their farms.
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#20
Devil's Playground. Really good doc. Those kids go fucking bananas when they taste a bit of freedom.
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#21
Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Riviello

Devil's Playground. Really good doc. Those kids go fucking bananas when they taste a bit of freedom.

Which isn't surprising considering the conditions they live in before their "see if the real world is any better" jaunt. I mean, they're not allowed buttons on their shirts for chrissake.
*Edit*
I just actually read the news story, and found out the shooter was a truck driver. They actually didn't say if the shooter was Amish or not, or even a former student, so I wonder if this had some sort of bizarre motive. The use of the phrase "execution style" never fails to send a shiver down my spine.
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#22
A shooting in Amish Paradise ?

I expected the killer to use the bow and some arrows. Or a fork. Or a javelin.

A gun is so 20th-century.
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#23
Here's an update to the Amish shooting. Wow, unoriginal hack.

Quote:

A 32-year-old milk truck driver took about a dozen girls hostage in a one-room Amish schoolhouse Monday, barricaded the doors with boards and killed at least three girls and apparently himself, authorities said.

It was the nation's third deadly school shooting in less than a week, and similar to an attack just days earlier at a school in Colorado

The gunman, identified as Charles Carl Roberts IV, was inside for over half an hour and had barred the doors with 2x4s with the girls inside, State Police Commissioner Jeffrey B. Miller said. By the time officers broke windows to get in, three girls and the gunman were dead, Miller said. Seven others were taken to hospitals, three in critical condition.

"It appears that when he began shooting these victims, the victims were shot execution style in the head," Miller said.

Roberts had walked into the one-room West Nickel Mines Amish School with a shotgun and handgun, then released about 15 boys, a pregnant woman and three other women with infants before barring the doors with the girls inside, Miller said.

The girls were lined up along a blackboard, Miller said. "He had wire ties with him and flex ties, and he began to tie the girls' feet together," Miller said

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#24
Killed only the girls. Comes from a weird religous cult. Gee, wonder if there's any connection there?
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#25
Quote:

Originally Posted by devincf

Stolen joke:

JEBEDIAH SPOKE IN

CLASSSSSSSSSS TODAYYYYYY

Can someone explain this to me? I really dont get it.
I might have been born yesterday sir, but I stayed up all night!
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#26
Quote:

Originally Posted by Quarant

Can someone explain this to me? I really dont get it.

Dane Cook fan!
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#27
That was low, Mr.Faraci.
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#28
Quote:

Originally Posted by devincf

Dane Cook fan!

Yip. I like Dane Cook. You liked X-Men 3... We've all got our problems
I might have been born yesterday sir, but I stayed up all night!
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#29
Quote:

Originally Posted by devincf

Stolen joke:

JEBEDIAH SPOKE IN

CLASSSSSSSSSS TODAYYYYYY

Hilarious
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#30
Yahoo!:

Quote:

About 11 a.m., Roberts apparently called his wife from a cell phone, saying he was "acting out in revenge for something that happened 20 years ago," Miller said. "It seems as though he wanted to attack young, female victims."

Good times!

Good thing you folks take gun control seriously!
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#31
It took the guy a half-hour because he had to pack the musket after every shot.
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#32
Did they use muzzleloaders?
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#33
Here's this as well. School shootings are all the rage now.
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#34
Congress should start writing up the Battle Royale legislation any day now...
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#35
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brendan

Good thing you folks take gun control seriously!

I hate guns, but he would have been just as likely to do the same thing with a pair of hedgeclippers.
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