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  Fantasy Football: 2021-2022
Posted by: jonathan moxon - Yesterday, 07:31 AM - Forum: Sports - No Replies

I just wanted us to have spot for this season.  I see the B-League is back up and running, and hoping to hear back from Mangy soon concerning our TC/Discord league.  Good luck this year to everyone out there playing in a league!

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Posted by: kyle reese 2 - 08-02-2021, 07:30 PM - Forum: Focused Film Discussion - Replies (36)

The old thread seems to be deleted when I click on it from search.

New trailer looks fun. Woody transforming is suitably gross. The way he acquires the symbiote is hilariously dumb.

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Posted by: wasp - 07-30-2021, 09:07 PM - Forum: Television - Replies (1)

So this is a family show currently running on Disney+ that we randomly started watching and I was surprised at how good it is. Absolutely no one is talking about it or watching it, feels like, probably because it's not Marble or a Star War.

It is a kid-centric cast but Tony Hale has a main role and he is delightful in it. On a broader level the show feels a bit like the best parts of Netflix' Lemony Snicket series combined with some very Wes Anderson sensibilities, and yet the story and characters feel unique. The writing and dialogue are actually quite lovely and the ideas are resonant. I am trying to think of a TV show that me and my young kids both enjoyed at such a high level. Over the Garden Wall is probably the only other such show that comes close.

Ultimately, I felt like this show deserves its own thread because I just watched episode 5, which was directed by Karyn Kusama, and it was probably the best episode of new television I have seen this year. Granted, I haven't see a lot. But Karyn killed it.

THIS is the best show on Disney+. By about 12 parsecs.

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  JUNGLE CRUISE Post-Release Discussion sponsored by Belloq87
Posted by: Overlord - 07-30-2021, 03:06 AM - Forum: Focused Film Discussion - Replies (84)

Saw this with the kids today.  Let's get unpacking.

**SPOILER NOTE:  You may think this is a formulaic action adventure mash-up of bits and pieces of other films, and it absolutely is, but there's at least one twist I didn't see coming.


--Okay, so right off the bat, did anyone out there expect that The Rock would be revealed as a village-building, 400+ year old, cursed Spanish conquistador zombie in this?   Cause I as fuck sure didn't.   What the hell!  Good job on not completely losing your sanity after being magically compelled to stay within sight of the Amazon river for four centuries. Then again, as far as curses go, that probably isn't the worst one out there.  The Rock totally does not have the acting chops to make that reveal work, but whatever.  

--This movie is 50% African Queen, 50% The Mummy, 50% Pirates of the Caribbean, 50% Indiana Jones, and 50% Jumanji.  A very big movie!

--The opening action scene has a very explicit homage to The Last Crusade (librarian hammer sequence), The Mummy (the Weisz ladder shenanigans in the library), and Raiders of the Lost Ark (throw me the idol, I throw you the whip!).  The breakneck paces of the homages/references/familiar beats really, really don't let up for the entire runtime.

--The Jungle Cruise puns are in full effect.  Thankfully I laugh at them every time in real life, so I find them funny here. 

--Plemons steals the goddamn show.  His ridiculous proto-Nazi with his ridiculous U-Boat liven the fuck out of the film every time he's onscreen. 

--Emily Blunt should have been Black Widow.  Gal can even make some sort of romantic chemistry with The Rock's ridiculous character seem plausible.  There's a scene where she gets blowdarts and she makes this face that ... well ... I don't want to know what the ahego sites are going to do with it.  There's another part where The Rock is filming her using this old time camera and she's just so damn precious and fetch it's unbelievable.  I'm feeling like I hate John Krasinski all of a sudden.

--I definitely enjoyed some of the Uncharted/Indiana Jones-esque beats in the back half of the film.  I'm a fucking sucker for a contraption that reveals a hidden temple.  Although, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't this the same conceit they used in Crystal Skull?  That's not the Indiana Jones film you want to steal from!

--Since Blunt has to be a kick ass feminist icon throughout, but they needed someone to fill the "fish out of water" role for the handy jokes, we have her gay brother tagging along needlessly for the entire film.  There was a point where it would have been very easy for him to organically exit the story and I was pretty irritated when he didn't.  Other than some double entendre jokes with The Rock, he filled a comic relief role that it would have been far easier to have Blunt fill.

--It was so, so obvious that the film needed more scenes like the quiet "guitar" conversation between Blunt and The Rock.  She needed to get drunk, maybe show some lust or at least romantic inclinations, let her hair down a bit.  Excise the brother, prune the CGI crap, and let Blunt take center stage.  

--Why did Giamatti take that role?  I mean, it's pretty funny to watch him ham it up as an Italian stereotype, but, like ... if you were actually Italian, no director could ask you to act like that, could they?

--I could not stop laughing that an African-Queen sized boat had room for, like, two full cabins AND a boiler room belowdecks.  LOL.

--The narrative beat of the "archaic villagers who are actually in on the joke and are playing along for some reason" has to end.  I don't want to see this in a movie ever again.

--Let's talk about the worst thing in this film: the needless, pointless, and godawful CGI.  The fucking cartoon jaguar, birds, and conquistador monstrosities pulled me right out of the story every time they showed up.  Please explain to me why Pirates of the Caribbean, which had basically the exact same "curse" as a plot point, had zombie pirates that looked 100x better than the abominations we saw here?  My kids said it reminded them of Jumanji, and I agree, except Jumanji is taking place in some magical board game/video game world and thus you can be a little more forgiving of stylized CGI animals or settings (though Jumanji also had wildly better FX).  What is the goddamn point of the unending parade of godawful, immersion-breaking CGI shit in this film?  I swear to fuck if you just ripped all that out and toned down the conquistadors the film would immediately be so much better.  Like, whenever we got a break from that crap and could focus on the adventure the movie radically improved, then every time that goddamned CGI jaguar showed up I'd roll my eyes.  The director has to be fuming.  I could imagine him being, like, "I fucking trusted you, and this is what you give me?"  Non-living FX work is fine in this (stuff like submarines, villages, waterfalls, etc.).   Animals, on the other hand, are very, very hard to make convincing, and in this film it's like they didn't even try. 

--I don't know if they thought they were setting us up for a sequel, or if the oblique "more petals" scene was supposed to give us closure, but I was fairly irked that we received no resolution to the conquistador storyline.

--Don't take the denouement of the film's major arcs out of the hand of your protagonist(s), would-be screenwriters. Blunt should have been the one to off Plemons.

--They should have saved the backside of water joke for the very end when the rather-impressive waterfall reveal happens.  That would have been the time to drop that line in a non-ironic way.  Hire me to polish your scripts, Hollywood.

--It was fun.  It's not a great film, but it echoes great films in the ways that are guaranteed to resonate with me.  Blunt is great as she basically channels Weisz  in The Mummy and Karen Allen in Raiders, The Rock does a suitable job of channelling ... The Rock ... and Plemons is just a complete scene-stealer.

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  6:45 Pre-Release Thread
Posted by: Overlord - 07-30-2021, 12:03 AM - Forum: Focused Film Discussion - Replies (2)

What the world, needs now ... is another time loop movie.

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