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E3 2017: Pre-Order Now for Funny Meme Subtitle

It's criminal that F-Zero keeps getting thrown into things like Mario Kart and Smash Bros, without having gotten its own proper sequel since... what, 2003? And they didn't even make Captain Falcon a playable character in Mario Kart 8, despite there being two or three F-Zero tracks.

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I need more Kirby Dreamland Golf in my life. Come on Nintendo, get on that.

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Goddamn! It's the dual-Metroid 2002 all over again. Fuck me. Life on planet Earth redeemed again.





Good thing I never sold off my 3DS XL. This is how you make up for Federation Force.



Great showing from Nintendo this E3. Mario looks like a more than worthy followup to Galaxy.

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Ugh. The Nintendo Generation is a blight on humanity.



I kid, I kid...

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ALooks like someone at Nintendo played Double Fine's Headlander and decided that maybe it was time to return to the Metroidverse and also that playing a head that can take over the bodies of enemies sounded perfect for the next Mario game, but they decided to change it to being a magical hat Mario uses to make it more family friendly.
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Moving away from the latest squeezings out of the Nintendo Nostalgia Teat for a moment.



I continue being the only person really looking forward to Vampyr it seems.



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AI am looking forward to Vampyr, but they have been teasing it and showing bits and pieces for two years now. I just want to play the game at this point.
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Same here. guys

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Codename View Post
 

Nintendo only has 4 IP's (5 if you count Splatoon) so they had to wheel that one around again eventually.



I'm probably leaving out a few:



1080° Snowboarding
Advance Wars
Adventures Of Lolo
Animal Crossing
Another Code: R
Arms
Balloon Fight
Baten Kaitos
Battle Clash/Metal Combat
Captain Rainbow
Chibi-Robo!
Cruis'n Series
Custom Robo
Devil World
Disaster: Day Of Crisis
Donkey Kong
Doshin The Giant
Drill Dozer
Duck Hunt
Dynamic Blade
EarthBound a.k.a. Mother
Elite Beat Agents
Endless Ocean a.k.a. Forever Blue
Eternal Darkness
ExciteBike
F-Zero
Famicom Detective Club
Fire Emblem
Game & Watch
Geist
Giftpia
Golden Sun
Ice Climbers
Kid Icarus
Kirby
Mario
Marvelous: Another Treasure Island
Metroid
Mischief Makers
Murasame Castle
Nintendo Fit
Nintendo Sports
Nintendogs
Pikmin
Pilotwings
Pokémon
Punch-Out!!
Pushmo
Puzzle League
Rhythm Heaven
Sin & Punishment
Splatoon
Star Fox
Starfy
StarTropics
Stunt Race FX
Uniracers a.k.a. Unirally
Vegas Stakes
Wave Race
Wonderful 101
Xenoblade
Zelda

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LOL! So touchy.



I'm just amused more than anything by the Nintendo hype cycle.



Nintendo: "Here's a new one of that thing from your childhood you like".



Fanbase: "AAAAAAAAHOMGZGEIHIUEHNGL"



Nintendo: "Now buy Amibos motherfuckers"



Hey, you do you. I just find it funny from the outside.

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Codename is all about blast processing.

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What used "blast" processing?  I actually remember that.



I also remember buying the 4MB Memory/Processing thingamabob for the N64 so I could optimize Turok 2 or something.  What a fool.

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MS-DOS muthafucka.



I was Master Race before Master Race was even a thing. <img src=" src="http://files.chud.com/images/smilies/cool.gif" />



Quote:

Originally Posted by First Class 782 View Post
 

What used "blast" processing?  I actually remember that.



Sega Genesis if I remember correctly.

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That RAM Pack is crucial for EPISODE I RACER.



Really fantastic racing game.

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No better name in all of Star Warsdom than DUD BOLT.



That dude was a fucking player.  There is probably some early 2001 EU novel where Dud Bolt secretly designed the Y-Wing fighter and emergency delivered the Wampa that would eventually maul Luke Skywalker, after crashing on Hoth chasing IG-69.  Count on it.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by First Class 782 View Post
 

No better name in all of Star Warsdom than DUD BOLT.



That dude was a fucking player.  There is probably some early 2001 EU novel where Dud Bolt secretly designed the Y-Wing fighter and emergency delivered the Wampa that would eventually maul Luke Skywalker, after crashing on Hoth chasing IG-69.  Count on it.


Mars Guo or GTFO.



If Anthem actually has a solid offline mode, I might be into it.



Anyone remember overhyped-late-90's PC flop Messiah?  You play a chubby little cherub, that posses people?  THat's what Mario Odyssey is reminding me of, and it's not a good memory.  The "normal humans" + mario thing is not getting any better.



But Mario Rabbids is a turn-based tactical game?!  I'm in.



Metroid 4 is supposedly a "new team"  New to Nintendo or new alltogether?  Because that doesn't refute my outrageous claim that FROM is working on it.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by MrBananaGrabber View Post
 


Metroid 4 is supposedly a "new team"  New to Nintendo or new alltogether?  Because that doesn't refute my outrageous claim that FROM is working on it.



I heard an internal Nintendo development team in Kyoto is doing MP4. Mercury Steam is doing Metroid 3DS.

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AVampyr looks genuinely compelling. I've been wanting a solid narrative-driven Vampire RPG since Bloodlines, and an open world RPG where the NPC's are genuinely connected and where failure to wisely decide their fates has consequences ever since running into Fallout 3's sea of unkillable NPC's.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by MrBananaGrabber View Post


Metroid 4 is supposedly a "new team"  New to Nintendo or new alltogether?  Because that doesn't refute my outrageous claim that FROM is working on it.



Quote:

 The Project is being led by series producer Kensuke Tanaba and a talented new development team. Together, they are hard at work bringing the action, isolation, and exploration of the Metroid Prime universe to life on Nintendo Switch.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyle Reese View Post
 

METROID PRIME 4





Holyshit. God is real. Life has meaning again. This is the news I've been waiting the past 5 E3's for.


I was strongly considering buying a Switch JUST for Zelda until I realized hundreds of dollars is way too much to justify for one game.  But Metroid Prime 4 and Zelda?



I can do that.

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If Nintendo didn't have their IPs they would have died a long time ago.

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That Other M game almost did that for me.

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A[quote name="Headless Fett" url="/community/t/159417/e3-2017-pre-order-now-for-funny-meme-subtitle/100#post_4305694"]If Nintendo didn't have their IPs they would have died a long time ago.
[/quote]

Nah. They remain practically the emperors of handheld systems, and the Wii was HUGE.
Their big failure with the Wii U was too little 3rd party support and lack of internal variety, but they have a lot of 3rd party support for the Switch's future.
Nintendo is content with dominating handhelds and their main console being more casual/family oriented, and that's fine; they are not interested in the pissing contest that is next gen and exclusive releases.
As long as they diversify their franchises and do the occasional experiments that pay off, like Splatoon, they will be fine; I think their real problem will be keeping the spirit and legacy of the company once their old guard are gone.
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A[quote name="Freeman" url="/community/t/159417/e3-2017-pre-order-now-for-funny-meme-subtitle/100#post_4305698"]That Other M game almost did that for me.  
[/quote]

I remember how everyone was excited by Other M because, come on, Metroid by the makers of Ninja Gaiden?
And none of us stopped to think about how Ninja Gaiden games deals with female characters.
I'm still amazed that Nintendo never leveraged their release of Bayonetta 2 into having Platinum Games make a Metroid game.
Looking at Bayonetta, Vanquish and Nier Automata, those guys would had nailed it.
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I have zero interest in a Metroid game that isn't either a classic 2D Metroid in the style of Shadow Complex, or a Metroid Prime sequel.



Samus as a Bayonetta slash em up character?  Whaaaaa?

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A[quote name="First Class 782" url="/community/t/159417/e3-2017-pre-order-now-for-funny-meme-subtitle/100#post_4305455"]What used "blast" processing?  I actually remember that.[/quote]
Nothing. It was a pile of lies from Sega's US marketing department. Not to say the Genesis didn't kick ass, but: on the Truth-O-Meter, "blast processing" was five Trumps out of five.

But then I only had a 68k Mac growing up, so I pretty much had Oregon Trail and other educational titles until my aunt and uncle bought us a Pentium II and I discovered the wonders of five-year-old DOS shareware CDs because my parents were too cheap to actually buy us anything. But then, mid-'90s DOS shareware games kicked all kinds of ass.
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A
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freeman View Post

I have zero interest in a Metroid game that isn't either a classic 2D Metroid in the style of Shadow Complex, or a Metroid Prime sequel.



Samus as a Bayonetta slash em up character?  Whaaaaa?


I think he means that Platinum would do a shoot em' up action Metroid game better than how Team Ninja did Other M. Platinum doesn't just make hack n slash games you know? Look at Vanquish, and, uh, Wonderful 101.

C'mon man, Samus hacking up fools with an energy blade that complements her shooting would be frickin' sweet.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by CD Underbelly View Post
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Freeman View Post
 

I have zero interest in a Metroid game that isn't either a classic 2D Metroid in the style of Shadow Complex, or a Metroid Prime sequel.

 

 

Samus as a Bayonetta slash em up character?  Whaaaaa?




I think he means that Platinum would do a shoot em' up action Metroid game better than how Team Ninja did Other M. Platinum doesn't just make hack n slash games you know? Look at Vanquish, and, uh, Wonderful 101.

C'mon man, Samus hacking up fools with an energy blade that complements her shooting would be frickin' sweet.

Exactly what I meant.


Txs.

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AWould they also mischaracterize her? I like Samus a lot because she's pretty unlike a lot of female characters in media. She's almost never out of her suit ever and because of it pretty rarely sexualized. She's also a loner who hunts down nightmare monsters willingly. I like to picture her personality if she must have one as very similar to black widow.

Other M was so infuriating that I don't think I could trust even the bayonetta guys to handle it correctly. I just know it would be an awesome cool game and she'd be hyper cartoonishly sexualized. No thanks, not for Samus.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Freeman View Post

Would they also mischaracterize her? I like Samus a lot because she's pretty unlike a lot of female characters in media. She's almost never out of her suit ever and because of it pretty rarely sexualized. She's also a loner who hunts down nightmare monsters willingly. I like to picture her personality if she must have one as very similar to black widow.

Other M was so infuriating that I don't think I could trust even the bayonetta guys to handle it correctly. I just know it would be an awesome cool game and she'd be hyper cartoonishly sexualized. No thanks, not for Samus.

I agree that's a risk, but I think Platinum handles its characters pretty well; Bayonetta may be sexualized, but she is a very empowered and independent female protaganist (hell, she is actually carefree and dominant  in her sexuality), and Nier: Automata also has that fan service aesthetic that hides deep characters and a complex story.


I loved Platinum's DS jrpg/visual novel Infinite Space, which had great female characters.


With a right director/witer, they would make a great Metroid game, but yes, i can understand your concerns, since Metroid Other M was atrocious.


IMO, a perfect Platinum Metroid game would be an origin story, based on the official Metroid manga, following Samus from the attack by Ridley and the space parents that killed her family, her being raised and trained by the Chozo, and the events of the first Metroid game.

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A[quote name="ryoken" url="/community/t/159417/e3-2017-pre-order-now-for-funny-meme-subtitle/100#post_4305930"]I agree that's a risk, but I think Platinum handles its characters pretty well; Bayonetta may be sexualized, but she is a very empowered and independent female protaganist (hell, she is actually carefree and dominant  in her sexuality),[/quote]
Perhaps, but that's still a wildly different thing from Samus.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by commodorejohn View Post


Perhaps, but that's still a wildly different thing from Samus.

Yes, but like I said, Platinum doesnt have a tradition/common practice of sexualizing female characters, like Team Ninja has; aside from Bayonetta (2B from Nier falls under Yoko Taro, the director's style, and those who have played the game know there are also male sexualized characters in it).


Im talking in terms of gameplay/aesthetics when I say Platinum would make a great Metroid game.


Im actually rather hopeful of Samus Returns, as its by Mercury Steam, who did the excellent Castlevania: Lords of Shadow (Lords of Shadow 2 was mediocre, though)and its pretty solid metroidvania style 3DS sequel, Mirror of Fate.

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AYeah Ryoken is right. That being said, an atmospheric Metroid game might be outside Platinum's wheel house.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Ska Oreo View Post

Yeah Ryoken is right. That being said, an atmospheric Metroid game might be outside Platinum's wheel house.

Good point there; Platinum games are great gameplay wise, but so far, their most atmospheric game is Nier:Automata, and thats on Yoko taro's sensibilities as a designer/storyteller.

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Wolfenstein II has a 60's Nazi camp hero!





Holy shit, this game has stolen all the "piss off the right kind of people" thunder from Far Cry 5, hasnt it?

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