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The dreaded follow-up phone call....
#1
So I met this really cool girl Friday night, a mutual friend having introduced us, and we seem to have hit it off -- I got her home and cell phone numbers, and talking to the mutual friend, she seemed quite interested. Now comes the phone call. I want to call today, but I'm sitting here in a panic wondering what to say. I'm supposed to go see her show on Thursday (she works at Universal as well), so there's that, but beyond that I'm stumped. I'm great at the general chit chat, but when it comes to someone I'm interested in and under these circumstances, I turn into a total idiot.

So anyway, is it too soon to call and anyone have any advice for this dreaded dating ritual?
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#2
I've been out of the dating arena for some time now (I lost my genitalia in a bizarre smelting accident) but in my experience the more you think about stuff like this, the bigger deal it becomes.

Just give her a call. It's really no big deal. There's no such thing as "too soon" or "too late". She's not a carton of milk. At this stage the worst thing you can do is focus all your attention on the first phone call. Call her up, arrange to see a movie together, go for something to eat afterwards. Just enjoy her company and see what happens. If the spark is there then you won't need any further advice as fate will take control.

In a nutshell: chill.
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#3
Ah hell, got her damn voice mail. Figures....
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#4
A Monday call is what I would go with. You met her on the weekend, let the weekend pass before talking to her again. Or else it may seem too anxious. Then Monday afternoon or night, buzz her up and just bullshit and talk about Thursday. You can say, hey, let's get some coffee or something after the show, dinner maybe, bla bla.
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#5
I left a message, basically leaving my number and saying if she wants to chat/do something before Thursday to give me a call. I may try to reach her in person tomorrow.
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#6
I would've advised against a voicemail on first contact.
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#7
Actually, you've already tried to reach her, and left a message that if she wants to chat before Thurs, feel free to call. You may want to wait until like Weds before initiating anything, and use the Weds call to confirm you're still on for Thurs, if you don't hear from her before then.
That way there's no pressure, aside from her looking at the phone with the same butterflies, going "I'll call him. I'll call him. I'll call him."
When Hastur & I were dating, I asked her one time why I wound up being more than a 1 night stand (her and I lived a hundred miles apart, neither one thought a relationship was in the works at first). She replied, "You actually called when you said you were going to."

Side note...Poxy, do you work at Universal Studios? Doing what? It's going to be funny if I saw you there like 3 Tues agos and didn't know it.
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#8
Well, to be honest, I was a little too nervous for a person-to-person thing. But you're right, I've made the effort, I'll give it 'til Wednesday. My only worry is that I don't want it to seem like I'm putting the burden of effort on her.

As you can see, I'm really bad at this. Most of my past relationships have been friendships that just sort of drifted into something more. I'm not used to the whole meet/call/date thing.

And Coyote, I work at Jaws and I'm usually there on Tuesdays. Chances are you did see me and never realized it.

Thanks for all the advice, folks.
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#9
Rath, I don't know how you got Poxy's password, but this isn't cool.
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#10
Hey now, that's low.

I actually have shot with this girl. wink
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#11
I predict Poxy's brother will be online shortly, bemoaning the death of this beauty.
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#12
Kirby's right - I would have not gone with a voicemail AND ya shouldn't have given her your number, leaving it up to her to call you. First off, that's no fair sneaking the ball in her court. No fair. You are pursuing her, so that's your job. Also, if she never calls you back you are going to be kicking yourself. Even though you left that message, I'd still try to get her on the phone live and in person. Maybe give her a shout tomorrow or something.
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#13
But to me, not giving her my number makes it seem like I've got something to hide, like I don't want her to be able to find me.

Besides, from what my friend tells me, I'm going to have to do a lot more than mess up the phone call to screw this up.
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#14
Yeah, you'd have to do something like ... oh ... post messages about her on an internet bulletin board.
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#15
Funny, Blo.

Poxy, you wouldn't have had the option to leave or not to leave your number if you hadn't left the voicemail in the first place. But you did, and I'm sure no harm, no foul. Sounds like she's going to be happy hearing from you, which is a good thing.

Just remember this: From here on out, play it real cool - just like papa Matchstick would.

Peace,

K.M.
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#16
She called back, had a nice 20 minute chat, all is well. Once again, much ado about nothing.

And Blo, it's not like I'm posting her name and address up here.

Which is Cindy Mitchell, 7734 Stratford Blvd, Orlando FL 32807.
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#17
That was you on my voicemail???

Damn, you're sexy. wink
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#18
Just bust out the Cthulu hat, Poxy - that'll either seal the deal or frighten her away completely.
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#19
I'm about to be in a simililar situation. I hate the follow up call as well. And in fact last time I did it I intentionally didn't leave my number on the first call. Called 2-3 times total, no response whatsoever.

So, now I met a cool chick on Saturday night. Turns out she is a writer, loves horror movies, and has a production job. Got her number. Currently waiting X number of days to call. Even if we don't date, I think we have enough in common to be pals.

But beyond that, I won't be spilling any details here.

Happy hunting Poxy!
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#20
What's wrong with talking to one another?
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#21
Go Poxy Go.
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#22
Quote:

Chavez, Herald of Galactus:
Just bust out the Cthulu hat, Poxy - that'll either seal the deal or frighten her away completely.

Man, that hat is awesome!
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#23
Quote:

Poxy Von Sinister:
I left a message, basically leaving my number and saying if she wants to chat/do something before Thursday to give me a call. I may try to reach her in person tomorrow.

I've learned two things:
1. I leave a message, she (any and every girl I've "encountered"Wink never calls back.

2. She always gives the cell number, but never answers when you call it.

kinda funny, actually.
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#24
Wow. Seeing you guys actually get out there and do the footwork required to snag a date is pretty damn inspiring. Since everybody else here seems to be experiencing such good luck, I think now might be a good time for me to push my massive fear of rejection aside and ask out the girl from Starbucks. I'm sick of spending $40.75 every week on caffeinated beverages and pastries just so I'll have an excuse to shoot the breeze with her for a glorious 10- 15 minutes.

But if I get shot down like one of Joe Esterhauz's story pitches, Poxy is reponsible for my funeral arrangements since I'll be leaping from the tallest building in Atlanta.
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#25
Het Poxy, Maybe I can help. Just send along the young lady's name and her phone number and I'll call her for you. I'll tell her I am you and just to melt the ice, I will tell her some Ol' Will jokes and do a few thousand puns for her to learn to appreciate the humoor and mind of Wil, er Poxy, yeah.

Maybe I could call her like around 3:00 AM on a Sat. morning to make sure she's home and after I have been out drinking. A few obscene limericks ought to hbreak the old ice. No, don't thank me, I'd be happy to help out. Think that might help?
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#26
So, talked to her tonight about doing something tomorrow, and ...
<img src="http://www.wargamer.com/reviews/beachhead_2000/screen1tn.gif" alt="" />
... got the old "I like you but as friends" story.

I plan on getting good and roaring drunk tomorrow night instead.
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#27
That really sucks, Poxy.

Feel free to take it out on me, though.... wink
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#28
Already did, meat.
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#29
Her loss.
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#30
Quote:

Poxy Von Sinister:
So, talked to her tonight about doing something tomorrow, and ...
... got the old "I like you but as friends" story.

Sorry to hear it. Cripes, I hate that line. I mean, you just met, right? How does she know she even likes you as a friend? Personally, of late, I seem to make the fatal mistake of not getting really attracted until well into the friendship, thus the girl can legitimately play that line and mean it. Sucks.

Quote:

I plan on getting good and roaring drunk tomorrow night instead.

Excellent plan and the only obvious move. Happy drinking.
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